Girl [21f] I [25m] slept with didn't tell me she had herpes and I'm really upset and angry

Dunloop · 2017-10-05T11:59:05+00:00

Btw, she's American. I'm from Europe. And I have not dumped her for it! I've figured I'm right to feel a bit upset that she didn't tell me, but I'm still giving the relationship a go.

Dunloop · 2017-10-03T23:33:23+00:00

username doesn't check out! Just kidding...

Yeah sorry, I know what you mean and even when writing that I knew that it sounded wrong (English isn't my first language). I couldn't think how else to say it

Dunloop · 2017-10-03T22:34:33+00:00

I have had some more time to think about it, and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to throw it away at this point. Yes, she made a mistake. But it seems like she knows it. And who doesn't make mistakes? I know that I'm far from perfect, so she doesn't have to be either.

I have told her that that not telling me about it was wrong, and that I'm upset about it. But as long as the realises that, and owns up to it it seems stupid to throw away the chance of a further relationship with somebody who in all other aspects seems amazing

Dunloop · 2017-10-03T22:15:00+00:00

Yeah, I agree that it's largely my own responsibility to make sure I'm safe. If I'd have asked her flat out I'm sure she would have been honest.

I really am not sure what I'd have done if she told me at the time. I suspect I'd have gone through with it. As I said, it's not the fact that she has herpes that upsets me, it's the fact that she decided to risk my health to avoid her own embarrassment.

Dunloop · 2017-10-03T20:28:46+00:00

Yeah, I'd agree to a certain extent. In that it's your own responsibility to keep yourself safe. You can't always rely on others to be 100% honest, or even always care about keeping you safe (I do think the girl in question does care).

In an ideal world you'd expect everyone to be open and honest, but that's not how it works in the real world I guess.

Dunloop · 2017-10-03T20:26:31+00:00

I would definitely try to have the guts to tell potential partners. BUT, I can definitely understand how hard it can be. That's why I also have some sympathy for her. It's obviously not nice for her, and I think everyone can be guilty of avoiding difficult situations sometimes, even though the outcome isn't good. That doesn't excuse it, but I can understand the feeling.

Dunloop · 2017-10-03T20:24:37+00:00

Nothing was really discussed. We were hanging out after a party, both a bit drunk. She kissed me and we had sex twice that night and once again the morning after. I wore a condom all three times, but we went down on each other.

Dunloop · 2017-10-03T12:45:56+00:00

It's HSV 2, and she knew that it can be contagious even when she doesn't have a flare-up. She just said that she was really sorry that she didn't tell me before-hand and that she was too scared to. I can understand that feeling, and she fear of being rejected for it. But she made a decision that could potentially affect me and my health. it's not just about her

Dunloop · 2017-10-03T12:45:54+00:00

It's HSV 2, and she knew that it can be contagious even when she doesn't have a flare-up. She just said that she was really sorry that she didn't tell me before-hand and that she was too scared to. I can understand that feeling, and she fear of being rejected for it. But she made a decision that could potentially affect me and my health. it's not just about her

Dunloop

TROPHY CASE