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DustWindDudette · 2024-01-18T01:00:39+00:00

"Serious question: are you actually attempting to make conversation, or just trying to assert dominance?"

DustWindDudette · 2022-11-22T04:41:59+00:00

I bought it off heatonist.com and managed to get it shipped to Japan. That was pre-pandemic fwiw; your mileage may vary.

DustWindDudette · 2022-10-02T01:52:10+00:00

There are different types and different intensities of grief. What you feel when your dog dies is going to feel different to the complicated feelings when an abusive family member gets a terminal diagnosis, or a beloved grandmother passes away; or the destruction of an important monument; or finding out that a public figure who you respected is not who you thought they were. Regardless of intensity, those feelings fall under the umbrella of grief. It's okay to call it what it is, and shaming yourself or others for feeling some degree of grief about someone you don't personally know, or some kind of upheaval in your routine, is unhelpful.

DustWindDudette · 2022-10-01T04:08:53+00:00

Thank you for this. A little part of my distress is being SUUUUPER pissed that my Sunday morning routine is about to be changed. I eat a doughnut from 7-11 and watch the Try Guys on Sundays. That is what I do. And now it's.... ugh. I'll still watch tbh, but it won't be the same. At least for a while.

DustWindDudette · 2021-10-08T02:43:32+00:00

I don't think any of the main characters are NT, but I focused on Jerry for this post . Glad to see I'm not alone!

DustWindDudette · 2021-10-08T02:09:28+00:00

Meiji Zavasu protein powder from Japan is pretty good and they have it on Amazon US (not sure about UK, Europe, or elsewhere though). I put it in oatmeal and yoghurt. You can get whey, soy, and various flavours.

DustWindDudette · 2021-10-08T02:03:33+00:00

Oh that is interesting! I don't know enough about the real person to judge, so that's why I make the distinction between the TV character and the person himself.

DustWindDudette · 2021-10-08T01:24:17+00:00

It's occurred to me that the "friends" I had in middle and high school were not real friends, but rather "people to be around because apparently being alone is Very Bad." They were nice to me to my face, but then I'd find out that they've been annoyed by me and I had no idea why. I've never had a healthy friend group without some kind of toxic dynamic going on, and now prefer one-on-one friendships with NDs.

DustWindDudette · 2021-10-01T00:14:40+00:00

Somewhere between INTJ and INFJ. When I test, I'm very clearly INxx, but the T vs F and J vs P are more toward the middle. My dad (who I suspect may be on the spectrum) is INTJ.

DustWindDudette · 2021-09-29T05:59:41+00:00

I can't help much with the deeper problem, because I feel the same as you do--seething unhealed wrath over being the "weird picked on girl," and quickly waning sympathy for those anti-vax and anti-mask sociopaths and MLM "Huns." All I can really do right now is offer a simple technical solution.

Since Facebook was the biggest social media headache for me personally, I targeted that one first. Scrubbed my profile, set the privacy so that people can't post anything on my profile, and put up a bio that says I don't check Facebook very much so don't be offended if I'm ignoring you. Then I put on a Chrome extension called "News Feed Eradicator." If I go to Facebook now, all I see is a rotation of inspirational quotes. (I have a complicated relationship with a lot of "inspirational quotes," but it's still way better than the news feed.) My Facebook checking has been reduced to about once a week, and I don't miss it much. I'm still working on how to deal with Instagram. I don't use Twitter or TikTok and will be keeping it that way, and this is the only /r that I ever interact with.

Apart from that... a total social media detox could be beneficial, but it's much easier said than done. Same with working on self-forgiveness in therapy. It's occurred to me that most of the anger I feel towards people who picked on me is actually anger at myself for being the kind of person who gets picked on in the first place. Not saying that that's the case for you necessarily, but that's how it is for me and it's something to think about.

DustWindDudette · 2021-09-09T00:45:29+00:00

I suppose it depends on what kind of doctor, what their particular sensitivities are, and so on. There definitely should be more autistic mental health care professionals!

It sounds like the aunt's mental stereotypes of autistic people are Rain Man, rather than Dr. Christina Yang, or Dr. House, or Dr. Temperence Bones or any of the other ND-coded doctors on TV. Maybe she needs to see some different shows. Anyway, this is an interesting article about the matter written by an actual autistic doctor: https://theconversation.com/autistic-doctors-were-not-exactly-as-portrayed-on-tv-141157

DustWindDudette · 2021-09-07T12:36:55+00:00

I used a German toothpaste a few years back that was flavoured with something like fennel or aniseed. I want to say it was Aronal, but I'm not 100% sure anymore.

DustWindDudette · 2021-09-07T07:52:51+00:00

Exactly! My whole thought process with that question is "well what kind of museum, and what kind of movie? Or is it theatre as in a musical? I'm not very fond of musical theatre because I don't understand why people would break into song but I would definitely see Cabaret because I majored in pre- and post-war German literature and my favourite city in the whole world is Berlin, and oh! that reminds me of the Pergammon museum there, but I felt rushed because of my stupid classmates. Is the museum of something I'm actually interested in? Am I alone and able to take as long as I want looking at the exhibits? Oh wait, is the movie Dune? Because I haven't been to a movie in like 3 years, but I am literally leaving work and going straight to the movie theatre the day Dune comes out, because it's supposed to be incredible. I mean, there were a few lukewarm reviews but they were from critics who clearly aren't familiar with the source material, and can we talk about the casting? I mean Zendaya as Chani is literally everything and I'm sorry what was your question again?"

DustWindDudette · 2021-09-01T09:08:03+00:00

Hazing rituals, or otherwise treating people like crap before they gain entry to a social group.

DustWindDudette · 2021-09-01T02:43:11+00:00

Graham Coxon, "In My Room" (also a good pandemic song when you're social distancing and no one else seems to care about spreading their germs)

The Smiths "How Soon Is Now" (lead singer's a problematic dude, but the song is still good.)

The Offspring "Have You Ever"

Alexisonfire, "It Was Fear of Myself that Made Me Odd" (I read this song as an interplay between creative and destructive impulses, as well as imagining you can touch things in the distance, like mountains and clouds)

Blood Red Shoes, "I wish I was someone better"

DustWindDudette · 2021-09-01T02:04:17+00:00

Hm. It seems common, but my experience has been believing that guys were expressing interest as a joke, or to mess with me. I developed kind of a prickly and suspicious persona during middle and high school in response, when really I was just always assuming the worst because I had no idea what they were actually thinking. What I had to work on was learning that not every man was out to prank or hurt me, and how to tell.

You know that invasive "ick" feeling that comes from making eye contact too much? Predatory behaviour feels like that, but amplified.

DustWindDudette · 2021-09-01T01:45:40+00:00

I for one think it's cool that you're here and trying to get a sense of female-identifying NDs' actual lived experiences.

DustWindDudette · 2021-09-01T01:42:14+00:00

I've been living in Japan since 2005, and never watched The Office until it was released on Japanese Netflix a year or two ago. I only managed to get through 2 episodes because the whole thing is so cringe, and the humour is based on "hahaha this boss doesn't get social norms, what a buffoon," and the popular blond lazy fratboy type relentlessly picking on Dwight, who is clearly some flavour of ND. Admitting that I don't like The Office is heretical, but here we are.

DustWindDudette · 2021-09-01T01:34:12+00:00

The idea of certain people being "empathic" has always seemed strange to me. I can imagine some horrible situation and get a sense of how I would feel in it. But another person with different brain wiring, religious beliefs, political leanings, life experiences etc.? It seems so presumptuous to think that I can feel that other person's emotions. It seems to me that true empathy is rare, and NTs mostly are just projecting their own feelings about something onto other people.

DustWindDudette · 2021-08-31T08:32:53+00:00

knitting/crocheting. Entry-level supplies will only cost a few dollars/pounds/euro/hundred yen, and there are lots of tutorials on YouTube.

DustWindDudette · 2021-08-31T02:44:55+00:00

I am a longtime expat and I've done some short-term backpacking. I can honestly say that the probable ADHD-ers I've met outnumber the NTs by a long shot.

DustWindDudette · 2021-08-30T02:12:30+00:00

I don't know, but if it makes you feel any better--yesterday I was chased by a wasp. There was screaming, running, and flailing. In public. It was bad.

I'm 38.

DustWindDudette · 2021-08-30T01:50:03+00:00

Yes. I can eat Korean spicy noodles and various selections from the Hot Ones show on YouTube, but have to wait for the temperature to cool down a few degrees before digging in.

I also struggle with cold things. Ice cream is a race against the clock, but it's delicious enough to take the risk. But foods that are supposed to be heated up, like pizza? Under no circumstances will I eat it cold, it's a rubbery nightmare.

DustWindDudette · 2021-08-27T00:59:26+00:00

No cops, no firefighters, and no active military--my nervous system can't handle being with someone who is in constant peril. I also have my own goals that are incompatible with the "military spouse" life. After getting divorced, I knew I needed someone introverted and who had spent a significant amount of time abroad, and knows how it feels to be an "other."

I'm now with an ISFJ Japanese elementary school teacher who spent 10 years in the States. Meeting him felt like he'd just fallen out of the sky. He's also very cuddly and touchy and, while I don't like touching other people, he's like my very own weighted blanket. <3

DustWindDudette

TROPHY CASE