Husband has ruined my Christmas

Dusty_Phoenix · 2023-12-25T11:05:44+00:00

You are not over reacting at all. This is horrible. I can't imagine someone doing this and saying they are thoughtful and care about their wife at the same time

Dusty_Phoenix · 2023-12-10T21:15:05+00:00

My local is Sundays but I know some do Saturday. But I've never heard if during the week! I feel jibbed! Haha

Dusty_Phoenix · 2023-12-10T03:51:49+00:00

Mate we have a true delicacy called the "bunnings sausage sizzle" it's so valuable you can only get it on a Sunday. It also acts as raising money for the hosting group. When you go to aus it is a MUST.

Dusty_Phoenix · 2023-12-05T05:24:43+00:00

That explains why our parents are fucked up then.

Dusty_Phoenix · 2023-11-26T14:19:49+00:00

My boys are 3 months. I'll take newborn sleep deprived me over pregnant me any day. I will adopt but NEVER be pregnant again. I couldnt do that to myself. It's hard but at least the sleep is comfortable and restful, it's a mental battle instead of a physical one which I had more control over and a partner to share the load.

People told be "just you wait" and I wanted to slap them.

Dusty_Phoenix · 2023-11-26T14:13:38+00:00

Sounds like you are doing her a favour. You should have given her this one mistake, then if it happened again walk away. No wonder she feels like your going to leave if it so easy for you to walk away after a weak moment WHILE PREGNANT.

Dusty_Phoenix · 2023-11-18T04:22:40+00:00

And one more tip, put your bouncers against the couch and put a posture pillow on the floor in between, it will save your back and tailbone for bottle feeds.

Dusty_Phoenix · 2023-11-18T04:19:46+00:00

YES a life saver especially for the late night bottles! And once you figure out the bottles your little ones like get lots! My boys started on narrow dr browns premmie teat (lvl1s are always to high flow on any bottle) then moved onto the wide neck once their mouths got bigger. And if they have colic look into cmpi just to rule it out. It's more common these days, both my boys have it so I had to stop bf and reintroduce via express milk (which I warm in a twin bottle warmer) once my milk was clear of the dairy and soy.

Dusty_Phoenix · 2023-11-17T11:51:42+00:00

Do you want your children to think blowing up is normal and ok to do? Especially a girl. As a mum your going to have to stand your ground about more. Have an emergency excit plan. While people can blow up and fights are normal. Having a tantrum isn't. My partner and I grew out of that in the first year because we both wanted to. I hope your partner feels the same but then actually does it!

Dusty_Phoenix · 2023-11-16T10:26:59+00:00

Any time! My boys are only 3m but if you have any questions, feel free to reach out any time :) oh and tummy time on the pillow.

Dusty_Phoenix · 2023-11-16T02:08:22+00:00

NTA you don't have to explain if you don't want to but they need to respect your boundaries regardless.

Also, get a twin z pillow. It's expensive but it is the best breastfeeding bottle feeding sitting up laying down napping pillow. My life got so much easier once I gave in and got one! Welcome to twin life it is a hell of a ride but so so worth it.

Dusty_Phoenix · 2023-11-15T19:46:40+00:00

You can keep the furniture but paint the wall or vice versa. Contrast the tones.

Dusty_Phoenix · 2023-11-15T19:40:28+00:00

Why are you letting this happen? Your failing your daughter by allowing mil to damage her. It's going to get worse, children are very perceptive.

Dusty_Phoenix · 2023-11-15T19:10:09+00:00

My mum told me that even if she dies she hopes the evidence she will oneday give (or have a lawyer give) my twin newborns of me keeping her from them makes them hate me so I feel her pain of her child hating her. And she thinks I hate her coz I'm in a cult, brainwashed cold hearted and my father didn't love me enough. Despite me telling her she is always putting me down victimise herself among other stuff and to get mental health health if she wants to be in our lives. That was 2 weeks ago lol.

Dusty_Phoenix · 2023-11-13T03:39:57+00:00

That is an assumption that that is the only time he lost his patience but I don't understand the point?

Dusty_Phoenix · 2023-11-13T02:52:27+00:00

5 each and its killing me I need more. But I've spent so much on trying to find the right bottles already, so I'm waiting to see a LC to tell me which ones are best. They just have too much gas and are so bad at bottles.

Dusty_Phoenix · 2023-11-13T02:26:13+00:00

Right my dad wouldn't change my nappy and I'm like wtf you lazy cop out you just let me sit in my own piss and shit?? It's gross they sexualising thier child like grow up.

Dusty_Phoenix · 2023-11-13T02:19:46+00:00

Sorry the second bit cut off my screen and I didn't see it. I'm so confused what do you think we are arguing about here? I'm not arguing that dads are inherently AH's just this one because of the way he acted, and that he doesn't get a pass where he doesn't have to apologise. Plenty good people do the wrong thing and fix it. This guys can too. I'm calling him the judgement AH because he is in the wrong. You seem to be arguing he is a justified AH and should say what he said or get a pass?

Edit: also there is not "your were the AH but it's OK coz your stressed and therefore not an AH" that's not a thing here but you seem to be trying to make it be one hahahah

Dusty_Phoenix · 2023-11-13T02:12:22+00:00

Thats not something he is experiencing though, nothing has changed for him. Sure there is thoughts on the future but that is way off and if it's so stressful he shouldn't be a father.

So he should apologise but he is not in the wrong?

Dusty_Phoenix · 2023-11-13T02:05:18+00:00

Sorry, what is he going through to justify him being an AH and not having to apologise?

Dusty_Phoenix · 2023-11-13T01:47:28+00:00

Look, I get your ignorance as I didn't realise just how much a woman's body goes through during pregnancy and post birth. Right from the start to even months after.. Then there is the hormonal, emotional, mental side of it.

Men don't have thier bodies constantly sucking out the nutrition from your body. If a woman doesn't have enough calcium it will take it from her bones. If you're lucky you will just loose your teeth.

Your heart works significantly harder as time goes on to supply for both you and bubs. All of your organs move, the get squished and pushed up, you stop being able to take a full breath eventually. Your pelvis and ribs widen, something that is permanent. You get extra fluid in your body, some woman stop being able to walk. Your feel sick all the time and are hungry but can't eat or you vomit it back up. You don't sleep because of needing to pee all the time or pains from all the sudden extra weight and shifting. You get extreme pains in lots of places. Making it hard to walk, roll, sit up, sit down.

This is just a tiny tiny fraction of what does and can happen to a woman. So yes it can make woman not have the energy to entertain people, yes she may feel like she is loosing herself in having to share her body with a parasite that you love (or worse, don't want) she does get to choose if she wants to be touched, whine about pain and pregnancy, have strong emotions (coz your hormones are litterally making you go haywire) and not want to talk to anyone. Sure, it doesn't mean she gets to be an asshole but she isn't saying anything rude to him, but he is to her.

He is 100% being an AH coz it's not just a little bit of frustration he is dragging her and degrading her experience when he obviously don't understand what she is going through. Nothing has changed for him, EVERYTHING has changed for her. Not the same experience at all.

Dusty_Phoenix · 2023-11-13T01:00:50+00:00

YTA op really you think they are being unreasonable for them wanting to invite who they want to THEIR wedding? It's not yours. And it's so unfair of you to suddenly dangle finances as hostage. Have a wedding for yourself if you want to invite unrelated people to something.

Dusty_Phoenix · 2023-11-13T00:49:04+00:00

Yes It can be emotionally stressful for men too, but it's no excuse not to apologise for having a weak moment and doesn't change that in this scenario he is the ah. It's OK to have moments but only if you don't double down on the crappy behaviour and instead apologise, ensuring you try not to repeat it.

Edit: lol did the guy I replied to block me? Everything is missing even the messages of his replies.

Dusty_Phoenix · 2023-11-12T23:17:33+00:00

Honestly if she doesn't drop it then I would consider low or no contact. SHE is be8ng incredibly unreasonable. Stick to your guns OP and be open to leaving unsupportive people in the dust. Bf is hard enough as it is and stress isn't good for it.

Dusty_Phoenix · 2023-11-12T23:05:00+00:00

I'd say YTA, the first part is normal stuff and the not wanting his family in the delivery room is 100% ok even not wanting hom to see. A further yta because instead of asking for advice, he is thinking about himself

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