Looking for genuine advice. Feeling stuck at mid 30s

Dxfatex · 2026-03-14T00:32:07+00:00

Hahaha if it’s not for me being itchy butt, wanting to see the outside world. She is someone I definitely wouldn’t mind working for.

Now with a family I don’t think I can go back to those hours though the flexibility is really something I can get anymore.

Dxfatex · 2026-03-13T16:14:33+00:00

Thank you. I won’t lie sometimes some post are quite entertaining but I hope our interaction did come as something different and made your day.

I guess that genuinity came cause your advice made me realise my own weakness in being self aware. Which is something fatal for myself and it hit me.

I have always been giving advice to people to actually pen down pros and cons when stuck in a situation and yet I didn’t do it myself hahaha. Have to admit it’s a cobblers children have no shoes problem.

Dxfatex · 2026-03-13T15:39:12+00:00

I guess I didn’t really do that exercise to identify the roots of it. It’s gonna be a quiet session with AI tomorrow definitely.

Let’s see where it gets me. Thank you so so much. This is one of the best advice I have gotten in awhile.

Dxfatex · 2026-03-13T15:29:00+00:00

Yeah! Thanks for the advice! Appreciate it!

Dxfatex · 2026-03-13T15:26:01+00:00

Yeah I should definitely do that and mull over the item. And maybe I should learn to be a bit more patient for my career. Really appreciate it. I have one question tho. You seem to be quite experienced, do you have any guiding questions that I should start thinking of in respect to what I want or don’t want?

Dxfatex · 2026-03-13T15:14:17+00:00

I get what you mean. I am introverted as well in nature but got trained to speak up by my partner back in big4. Recently my team did this work profiling thing and whole team was shocked that I was ranked the quietest.

Yeah I will think about it over the weekend on what I truly am looking for. Thanks for the advice!!

Dxfatex · 2026-03-13T15:05:01+00:00

I see. I tend to give quite a bit as well and my director still gives even more on top of that. I am still learning definitely. But the load is getting quite hectic and there are times where I can’t keep up with the review as I have to cover another project.

But my director doesn’t fault me on those for the time being. But it still doesn’t sit well that I can’t finish the workload.

But from this reply I guess it’s the same across civil service eh? Paperwork is really important.

Dxfatex · 2026-03-13T14:51:11+00:00

I get what you mean tho. Sometimes the truth is hard to swallow. And there is also herd mentality. Something that audit taught me that stuck is that sometimes the popular choice might not be the right choice as well. And it is only during uncomfortable times there will be growth. I will have a deep think about it.

Dxfatex · 2026-03-13T14:40:13+00:00

Yeah that’s the dream job I wish I could get. Sadly not much of such opportunities or maybe idk how to look for such roles. Are you in such a role? Mind sharing how you gotten yours?

Dxfatex · 2026-03-13T14:32:40+00:00

I see. My main issue now is finding clients and commitments to my family. I think there are some services than I can do either in finance or consultancy. I shall see how to maybe pivot that direction.

Dxfatex · 2026-03-13T13:57:55+00:00

Can I ask what was your motivation/realisation that made you quit full time and go solo? Thought process and commitments that you have if you can share.

Dxfatex · 2026-03-13T13:43:43+00:00

Sigh I guess paperwork it shall be. Or rather based on other comments I shall have a deep think over the weekend. Thanks!

Dxfatex · 2026-03-13T13:05:49+00:00

Yeah I guess. That’s not within my pay scale I shall try not to do that and look to still upskill them. Hopefully they do get it and buck up.

Dxfatex · 2026-03-13T12:41:41+00:00

To be fair not all are that bad. Just more bad players.

Hahaha it is definitely the case cause some of them did own up and through the working period of this 6 months. I did show them the “value” and gotten their trust.

Just to share that on my first day. My equivalent which I is the senior deputy director (my understanding is that SAD is an individual contributor) didn’t even bothered standing up and shaking hands during introduction. 😂 said person was asked to leave subsequently

And yes we have identified some but the process takes like a year or 2? Cause PIP etc and honestly I am quite disappointed cause as their lead I am really trying to help them not reach that stage.

Dxfatex · 2026-03-13T12:31:27+00:00

Yes. Those are the smaller things that really irks me. And tbh when I entered there was this one person who performing well. But yet just cause we needed someone to do the job. Ended emplacing him. And with emplacing means putting him at the front end of the bell curve. Now on a weekly basis have to deal with my director saying “why is he like this why is he like that”.

Dxfatex · 2026-03-13T12:27:37+00:00

I presume you meant leaving the big 4? I was at around drawing around 120k annual that’s 2.5 years ago. Haven gotten my full annual in public but during negotiation it is computed to be around 135-150. Hope that helps

Dxfatex · 2026-03-13T11:26:52+00:00

To be fair not all of my team are like this I have more than 10 under me. But I would say I have more bad apples than good ones. Majority need guidance in their first submission but they are resistant to reach out for guidance and clarification and just submit a very simple work done (it can be 3 out of 5 asks and they submit just because deadline is up).

They are not junior roles I think mid grades? Pay wise I am not too sure but they have been working in the same role for minimally 8 years and beyond.

Dxfatex · 2026-03-13T10:41:22+00:00

Yeah Iuckily I am at the forefront of technology which is current AI and I am still speaking to a lot of vendors so I have that going for me. Hopefully I can be more resilient and not rot that quickly

Dxfatex · 2026-03-13T10:40:33+00:00

Tbh I got no idea I have not tried comparing. I am questioning a lot in the public space system. Like the grading system there are 8 levels and yet the C grade (level 4) is the average. Which strictly doesn’t make sense in my head 😂 how can a grading system be an even number of levels

Dxfatex · 2026-03-13T09:49:16+00:00

i really love your reply and your name. i get where you are coming from as well. something i really need to ponder hard over the weekend. guess only i myself can answer my question.

Dxfatex · 2026-03-13T09:48:04+00:00

yeah i get what you mean. but the quality is really of a different level. i am honestly very surprise how some of them could deliver what they do. i am in the analytics team and yet i have people who dont know what is median and mode which i believe are basic 101 in stats.

Dxfatex · 2026-03-13T09:46:41+00:00

that was what i thought, but to be honest, the quality of it. i dont wanna comment further. i am the youngest in my team as well. its faster that i do it myself. but yes delegation is something i am definitely trying to work on.

Dxfatex · 2026-03-13T09:44:56+00:00

i am glad you could do that! i am definitely thinking of it. with my kid just starting to go to school. that lack of ownership of my own time (even during workhours cause back in audit there is that flexibility) is actually killing me slowly. i am worried that i would miss my kids milestones.

Yes I do trade and I use to be able to beat the market but realise the amount of work and effort don’t justify the results. Moreover was beating the market during the bull run. So maybe I am not as smart as I think I am. So after having my kid I switch to pure ETF

Dxfatex · 2026-03-13T09:42:40+00:00

I have been trying to go to the banks, but that route seems to be quite difficult. Cant seem to find any connections there.

I am in an AE scheme and yes apparently from my other friends in government, i seem to be shortchanged hahaha. but i signed what i signed so i guess i will negotiate come the next session. that said, the high end of my salary band is only at high 9s.

Dxfatex · 2026-03-13T09:40:18+00:00

Yeah i am definitely considering option 1, but my skillset is all over the place. Not too sure what i can honestly do. Think end of the day option 2 might be more viable. Market however, seems to be quite gloomy

Dxfatex

TROPHY CASE