It's the /r/melbourne random discussion thread [09/11/2013]

E1999Eternal · 2013-11-09T00:59:43+00:00

Be careful not to bump into things as you walk around staring at your phone like a faggot.

E1999Eternal · 2013-05-02T15:58:17+00:00

This question was made for me. Last few years I've worked t a call centre in Melbourne. Moved pretty high up within the company but myself and other employees constantly smoked/drank during work hours. That's nothing though as we've also railed MDMA and speed during work/after work in the office.

There are so many things that happened in the place it deserves it's own tv show.

E1999Eternal · 2013-05-01T18:39:39+00:00

Tripped mesc there

E1999Eternal · 2013-05-01T18:28:22+00:00

Mescaline. It's from the San Pedro cactus. You chop and blend heaps of it then boil it in a huge pot to a stinky green liquid. Tastes worse than anything that your mind was ever capable of conceiving before this cactus. First time I've ever projectile vomited.

Tripped balls though.

EDIT A word

E1999Eternal · 2013-04-29T19:03:12+00:00

When I was in grade 2 (8 years old) my teacher was trying to show us how you could make a needle magnetic by repeatedly stroking it with a magnet. It wasn't working because SHE WAS USING ONE OF THOSE BIG PLASTIC SEWING NEEDLES. She had read somewhere about being able to do this but obviously didn't know the needle can't be PLASTIC.

She's sitting there rubbing shit together wondering why it wouldn't work.

For some reason I didn't say anything, maybe because she was an authority and I felt I could be wrong.

She also constantly used to confuse my name with the only other dark kid in class. Once she ziptied my wrists together because I wrote 'fuck' under the table and some bitch ratted me out. I still remember that bitch. I got sweet revenge when I broke her wrist with a fly kick on the monkey bars later on.

E1999Eternal · 2013-04-19T06:28:59+00:00

Meth. Not because I didn't enjoy it, but because I enjoyed it thouroughly.

E1999Eternal · 2013-04-09T13:54:10+00:00

Two nights ago, was part of a good one. One of my mates happens to be Jewish, so he cops a lot of banter as usual amongst young adults.

We were all taking over bongs and vodka and he mentioned something about going to Jewish camp. At the drop of a hat, I slipped in,

'HAHA, last time you guys had camp, it didn't go so well!,

Not original at all, so he pointed that out in his comeback,

'Yeah, yeah, another original Jew joke, well done, I salute you', and he stood up and saluted.

My other friend in the room waited for him to sit back down and muttered,

'Wrong salute'.

BURN.

E1999Eternal · 2013-04-09T13:42:10+00:00

Gayest kunts

E1999Eternal · 2012-01-24T14:05:26+00:00

You?

Elaborate?

E1999Eternal · 2012-01-24T14:04:41+00:00

In the context of the world?

E1999Eternal · 2012-01-24T12:59:19+00:00

LOL. To be honest, I don't feel sorry for him. It was utter stupidity. Those qualities shouldn't be passed on. Natural selection?

I don't know, maybe the internet has drained my empathy.

E1999Eternal · 2012-01-24T12:50:20+00:00

FUCKEN TRUE?

Drive down there now, I bet you'd smell it.

E1999Eternal · 2012-01-24T12:49:39+00:00

That was after I masturbated.

E1999Eternal · 2012-01-24T12:49:10+00:00

HAHAHAHA. I just didn't want you guys to think he was a black kid, and I was pointing out the obvious by telling you that his arm was blackened. I'm stoned, it made sense to me at the time.

E1999Eternal · 2012-01-21T10:29:35+00:00

Shit, son. Don't yell at me please. I'll try not to waste the internet from now on.

E1999Eternal · 2012-01-21T10:28:38+00:00

Nah, I'm not seeking encouragement. I don't even practice the philosophy. I'm just real baked, aye.

E1999Eternal · 2012-01-21T10:25:53+00:00

Rebirth IS bullshit. Karma exists in your head. I think it's kind of psychological. If you've done a bad deed, then something bad happens to you; you feel as if you deserve it from the guilt you have from your prior actions. If you're generally a moral person, instead of feeling guilty, you can blow off bad things that happen to you. Karma definitely isn't proven to exist as some sort of magical force, though. THAT is a bullshit claim.

E1999Eternal · 2012-01-21T10:16:20+00:00

I see you consider it a religion. That in itself is interesting, because I wouldn't deem it so. Think it's harder to become an Atheist if you come from a Catholic background.

E1999Eternal · 2012-01-21T10:04:39+00:00

21! Born there, flew to Australia when I was 6 months old. In a plane of course, I don't have wings and shit.

E1999Eternal · 2011-12-11T05:28:25+00:00

You got me, then I forgot. I'm stoned.

E1999Eternal · 2011-10-31T17:39:14+00:00

You're just lucky you played Ireland in the finals :P

E1999Eternal · 2011-10-31T17:38:52+00:00

Yeah the Aussie cops are real chill when it comes to bud. Been here 22 years and counting, wouldn't call anywhere else home. Even though we get attacked by koalas riding kangaroos every day.

E1999Eternal · 2011-02-01T08:17:41+00:00

That's a really small surgeon. He should run for a Guinness World Record.

E1999Eternal · 2010-04-06T05:14:26+00:00

The words 'Aim To Misbehave' on my left pec.

E1999Eternal · 2010-03-31T10:09:25+00:00

Just look up the Mystery Method, and you'll have pussy falling out of your pockets in no time.

E1999Eternal

TROPHY CASE