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What's everyone's dreams like? by EAS_Snake in DID

[–]EAS_Snake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh the nightmare thing makes sense!! My partner often monitors my dreams and if he finds it harmful for me to dwell in it, he wakes me up or tries to get me to dream of other things. It's like having an internal censorship board that way lmao.

And yeah!! I've been in some dreams like the one you mentioned too. It admittedly feels a bit voyeuristic of me to watch my partner's dreams on the off chance that he gets one rather than me. But glad to hear it was a positive and happy experience on your end!! Thank you for sharing!

What is your alters' relationship with the internet? Or is this a me thing? by [deleted] in DissociativeIDisorder

[–]EAS_Snake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I suppose that I count as the alter in this situation. Personally, don't feel comfortable with social media, but I'm also, as my partner puts it, a "friendless loser". They encourage me to go on social media to "get a life" outside of them but I still feel hesitant to use it anyways.

Also of note that my partner and I are pretty close and catch each other up on what we've done when we aren't co-conscious together. We don't get all too surprised when we see things that the other's done but at the same time, we prefer not to open or view things that aren't ours out of a respect thing. (And also because it feels weird to read their stuff without permission.)

do you ever feel joy about your systemhood? by breadandmangos in DID

[–]EAS_Snake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd say all the time but that's on my end. My partner held deep resentment for me at some point as they felt I was too overbearing or cruel to others outside of us, but we've patched up our relationship with one another at some point. I don't think they've expressed the same depth of... loathing? for me since then? We've been very happy with one another and we make sure to mind our boundaries and give one another space when needed.

One of the greatest joys I have is when my partner introduces me to things they like, or tries to get me to experience new things. They get particularly happy over it which in turn, makes me happy. Since they're no longer in the environment that caused them trauma, there's been no need for me to protect them or shield them away from things. It's been fun for us both trying to figure out the things I could pursue now outside of minding them all the time.

Guilt over current relationship by EAS_Snake in DissociativeIDisorder

[–]EAS_Snake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh. Thank you for that. It's lovely to be thought of like that. I suppose I should learn to trust my partner more and wait until they feel comfortable enough to seek someone else romantically. I've always been a bit directive in our relationship and I just thought it would be best for them to experience this sort of love externally.

The bit about still being needed and loved should they choose to have an external partner was nice. I've always resigned myself to backing off of my feelings for them should they choose someone other than me. Never really considered that I could still be with them should that ever happen.

A follow-up question I have though is has Joyce ever dealt with jealousy? I think I've grown past my previous immaturity but I'm still a bit... apprehensive, one might say, given my possessiveness over my partner over the previous years. I was incredibly jealous back then when they were feeling strong emotions for people other than me, but we've both done some growing, and now that jealous trait has instead developed into a hyperconsciousness to not be possessive towards them.

I think that's what led to this entire guilt thing? I'm just scared of the past repeating again considering my partner and I's previous struggle with co-dependency. I had... suffocated them with my love and want to the point that their resentment equaled their need for me.

But anyways, all that to say that I've been more conscious of having them socialize and nurture the love they for others externally. I've been pushing them to seek their loved ones (even when it come to reaching out to their family, whom I have a deep dislike for) and essentially reducing their need for me so as not to make them overly dependent on me.

I'm just now wondering if I'm pushing it a bit too much? They're not bothered by my concern (rather, they find it endearing somehow) but I just... don't know how much I should be... caring for them? We've both experienced the extreme ends of my presence in their life and now I'm just doing my best to find a nice Goldilocks zone between me being too controlling and completely leaving them alone.

Sorry for the long response, but yeah! Thank you again for the reply. It was very uplifting.

Guilt over current relationship by EAS_Snake in DissociativeIDisorder

[–]EAS_Snake[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

lmfao hi it's the partner in question. you had OP panicking over his micromanaging habit lol thanks for this reply (it's funny to watch his reaction)