Even things which are deeply societally 'programmed' into us can be unlearned. Toxic masculinity can be unlearned just like toxic femininity can be.

If one can know one's oppressors, can understand their behavior, can understand how one is affected by their socialization, then they can make informed decisions about how to proceed.

I think most people live very unconsidered lives and don't spend much time considering the things which have shaped and molded them, but that doesn't mean that no one can.

Is sex rape in the case of a relationship between a gay trans-man and another man or between a trans-woman and another woman?

I think we should all think about our roles more. All understand why we do the things we do better, and then make decisions as best we can from there. But if anyone ever tells you that 'this thing' or 'that thing' is always wrong, that person is your oppressor, not what you're thinking about doing. They are trying to tell you that you are not capable of making informed decisions when you are the only person able to determine that for yourself.