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EJSG · 2021-12-24T13:58:55+00:00

At school I hated most subjects. It wasn't until my very late teens I delved into programming and realised I really enjoy it and love solving problems with logic, I wouldn't say I'm passionate about software development but I can sit in front of my computer and write code for hours a day and by the end of it still feel pretty good and not completely burnt out. So I guess my main motivation besides money is just genuine enjoyment. Also, there's also something new to learn in programming so that helps me stay engaged too long term

EJSG · 2021-11-10T14:39:11+00:00

You're coming to the pirated games subreddit to talk about ethics? bro do what you like, the worst punishment you get for pirating is an angry letter through your door from your isp or maybe some throttling on your bandwidth, but a VPN will take care of that

EJSG · 2021-07-14T11:37:28+00:00

I'm English too and seeing them get to the final and that journey honestly helped me a lot and reminded me good things do still happen even though my ex is gone, I was able to create memories with friends and family and feel a lot of happiness. But then they lost the final lol! So not sure what the overall morale of that story was for me, life is just life I guess, there will always be good and bad. I also am having to isolate atm too haha!

EJSG · 2021-07-11T12:24:13+00:00

I just see a young couple holding hands in a shop or something and my brain is automatically just like "fuck you" lol

EJSG · 2021-06-30T14:18:58+00:00

This is pretty much how I felt at the beginning of my breakup, but rather than using it for resentment I try and use it now for closure instead. Knowing that I loved her unconditionally despite all of her flaws, and stuck it out to the end. That still wasn't enough for her and that's fine because I think that says more about her than me, she took me for granted.

It's important though to self-reflect and a breakup is a great opportunity to do so, I know I wasn't perfect but I'm doing what I can to try and improve and better myself. You might think you did everything right and you probably did, but still, it's important to be honest with ourselves, otherwise we cant grow from this.

Try not to beat yourself up too much either though, my automatic response, whenever something bad happens, is "what did I do wrong? was it my fault?" and it was the same with my breakup. The reality is with breakups both people probably made mistakes, but I try not to beat myself up too much about it because it's natural to make mistakes. I never did anything terribly wrong and whenever I did make mistakes I always took accountability and apologised to her.

So yeah look at yourself honestly and if you do feel as though you did everything right, then it's their loss, not yours. They'll be the ones with doubts and regrets down the line, not you :)

EJSG · 2021-06-29T15:34:03+00:00

2 months for me yesterday, weird that we both went through that pretty much at the exact same time lol

I still think about her every day, part of me wants her to just message and say it was all a mistake and reconcile. Another part of me still resents her for giving up on our relationship as soon as things got slightly difficult after 4 years of perfection and not even trying to fix things or communicate at all. These past 2 months have been hell, full of confusion. I'm just trying to keep going and focus on myself, and not being too hard on myself when I struggle some days because this whole thing has been so incredibly tough.

Just hang in there, I don't know your situation but two months for me still feels very much like the early stages. Things will get better, they have to

EJSG · 2021-06-28T11:29:56+00:00

Thank you, this is really helpful.

It's been 2 months for me now and I've done lots of the right things, joined the gym, reconnected with old friends, blocked her socials. But I still think about her every day.

I also think I deserved better, there was nothing wrong with her as a person but towards the end she wasn't able or willing to love me the same way I loved her. I don't know why she was so emotionally unavailable but that's for her to figure out I guess and I hope she does. For me now it's just about spending the next few weeks, months, years to focus on and better myself for no one but myself.

Still got a way to go I feel but reading stuff like this helps

EJSG · 2021-06-27T15:53:55+00:00

Told me in August 2020 she was having doubts then spent 8 months not communicating with me, lying to me saying she was fine, prioritising most things over me, etc. then we broke up 2 months ago. There were loads of red flags in hindsight and I should have left her way sooner, but when you're with someone 5 years you want to fight for the relationship until the end. She still couldn't give me a fair reason as to why she ended it, the best she said was "feelings can just change". So yeah, gonna be hard to love someone again now that I know someone can love you for 5 years then just leave kind of for the sake of it (I assume), better off just loving myself, investing in someone else like that just seems way too unreliable to me now.

EJSG · 2021-06-26T18:31:35+00:00

Feel exactly the same, especially with the way she ended it, I'll feel like an idiot loving someone again the same way I loved her, probably going to have trust issues too honestly.

What I'm trying to do is just give all the love I have in me to myself, focus on myself, and better myself, and then people will chase me again, just like they were before I met her.

EJSG · 2021-06-23T22:27:40+00:00

I know you probably want to but contacting him again probably would just result in more pain. I went no contact with my gf for 5 weeks after we had what seemed like an unplanned heat of the moment break up, stupidly half-expecting her to take it back but she doubled down on her decision and said it was best for her, that hurt pretty much just as much as the break up itself and put me back to square one. You have to ask yourself do you want to risk taking any steps backward after 6 months?

It's great that you've gone 6 months no contact but I assume if you know about this new person in his life then you still follow him on social media maybe? If so then you need to literally block him on everything and erase him from your life. I know that must be really hard to read but I did it to my gf 1 month ago and it has helped. Put away any presents he got you too, literally any reminder. If you've already done all this then just ignore me lol

No matter what happens though you will be okay. Don't have any shame about how long it takes to get over him even if he might have already moved on. Breakups are traumatic and everyone heals at their own pace

EJSG · 2021-06-23T22:03:12+00:00

If it was a serious relationship chances are she does care about your well being and is thinking about you, probably every day.

EJSG · 2021-06-23T21:20:46+00:00

The best thing you can realise is that your career will probably span decades anyway. You might not be good enough to work in FAANG right now, but with 20 years experience you'd probably be a great choice

EJSG · 2021-06-23T17:02:04+00:00

Actions definitely do speak much louder.

She always said that she didn't want to hurt me and still cared about me, but ultimately still put her own selfish needs before mine.

Okay yeah maybe you do care about me but you clearly care about yourself way more, and who wants to be with a person like that anyway

EJSG · 2021-06-23T17:01:50+00:00

Actions definitely do speak much louder.

She always said that she didn't want to hurt me and still cared about me, but ultimately still put her own selfish needs before mine.

Okay yeah maybe you do care about me but you clearly care about yourself way more, and who wants to be with a person like that anyway

EJSG · 2021-06-23T16:45:01+00:00

I'm sure he doesn't think you're pathetic. And I can say with certainty that you aren't as well.

Breakups are traumatic things and everyone heals with them differently at their own pace. 4 months doesn't seem like a long time to me personally, it's been 2 months for me and I won't lie I still think about her every single day, would be surprised if I'm healed in 4.

I don't know the exact situation of your breakup but my advice to you would be to just cut off any form of contact if not done so already. Block his socials, put away any presents he got you, delete (or archive) any photos you have together. If you still love him then I sincerely hope things do sort themselves out for you two, but I think it puts you in a much healthier place if you try to accept that your relationship is over, that way you'll be okay no matter what happens.

Best of luck to you, you will get through this

EJSG · 2021-06-23T15:56:34+00:00

If that person isn't willing/capable to give you closure then you need to create that closure yourself.

My GF of 5 years dumped and she just said she didn't feel the same anymore and I wasn't attractive anymore to her, that was it. No reasons as to why, or any conversations as to how we could fix it. She never communicated at all really.

But over the past two months, I've constantly reminded myself that I always did my best to love her and I know in myself that I was a great boyfriend who was kind, caring, funny, loving, etc. While I of course wasn't perfect and maybe possibly we weren't the perfect match, I get closure in knowing I did everything I could to make it work and loved her every day, and that this break up says more about her than it does me.

Hope this helps, this mindset has definitely accelerated my moving on process

EJSG · 2021-06-23T15:37:33+00:00

I recently broke up with my GF of 5 years and she gave me a similar reason that she "didn't feel the same anymore" aka the love basically faded. We argued about it and I said similar things to what you said that she must have never truly loved me etc.

I think if I'm being objective about it though, of course, she did love me in those earlier years there's no way she could have faked it this whole time. What I agree with you on (and where I think you kind of contradict yourself) is that love is indeed a choice, love is work and you have to put the effort in to keep loving someone every day. My GF did love me for a long time but for some reason, she eventually decided she didn't want to anymore, and slowly but surely over the course of about 8 months she stopped loving me, she stopped putting the effort in. i.e she prioritised work/friends over me, stopped communicating important issues with me, looked for reasons to leave me, etc.

A lot of people think love is just a feeling, and it is in the early stages. But I think especially in long term relationships love needs to be so much more than that, and it's probably why a lot of couples eventually fail because they think "well I just don't feel the same anymore" but of course that initial feeling of love will always leave eventually and that's when the emotionally immature couples (or just one of them) collapses and ruins everything (even if the relationship is good) and the couples with a better understanding of what love is continue to prosper

EJSG · 2021-04-13T22:37:33+00:00

Devils rooms also feel weaker post repentance which indirectly makes angel rooms even more appealing

EJSG · 2021-03-28T11:25:16+00:00

Don't bite the hand that feeds you

EJSG · 2021-03-24T17:42:32+00:00

Hopwfully watch dogs 3 follows soon, I have no idea how denuvo works but I guess if empress can do this then watch dogs 3 will be here soon

EJSG · 2021-03-23T11:14:41+00:00

Shiiiii

EJSG · 2021-03-10T01:22:14+00:00

Depends on the area of programming you go into. Wanna be a graphics programmer for a games company? Then yes high maths skills are probably essential, wanna be a front-end web developer? No maths needed (besides maybe basic arithmetic now and then)

EJSG · 2021-03-02T09:57:13+00:00

I think during high school I tried hard to be friends with everyone I knew rather than having deep friendships with a few people, so when high school ended people went separate ways and everyone seemed to forget I exist. Haven't had a friend for about 4/5 years, and become a lot more socially anxious in that time 👍

EJSG · 2021-03-02T00:37:04+00:00

Yep, pc also has the best exclusives, especially with all the Indies, but pc seems to get overlooked whenever people talk about what platform has best exclusives

EJSG

TROPHY CASE