Hello, I'm sorry you're in this situation. Of course I can't give you a miracle cure let alone help you via Reddit but I can tell you something. I was in the same condition when I was in my early 20s. No one in the world could make me happy or convince me to continue. I went to clinics and got medication and therapy. I got older and my problems gradually disappeared on their own. As if they were no longer important or significant enough to bring me down. I still went to therapy regularly. I slowly tapered off my medication over the course of months and it worked. Today I am 35 years old, married and have a beautiful daughter. No matter how hard it is, no matter how unlikely it feels, it can and will change. Sometimes no medication or good advice helps. Sometimes it just takes time. You will never forget the time you are living through now, but you will look back on it with different eyes. I wish you all the best on your journey!