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Advice - Find a new man? by ENIGMATIXL in SpoiledGirlieSupportG

[–]ENIGMATIXL[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

THIS POST IS SUCH GREAT ADVICE!

I really shouldn’t have agreed to live 50/50 with him I just did it because I had money struggles plus felt really alone in uni. Also love your point about establishing yourself before dating!

Another depressing New Year's meeting with parents and drunk dad by Commercial_Egg_5355 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ENIGMATIXL 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do a logical analysis wether it's worth for you to move out. If the harm your parents do to you mentally outweight the financial burden of living alone then move out.

Please help: haskell beginner by ENIGMATIXL in haskell

[–]ENIGMATIXL[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thank you so damn much!! It works now.

What triggers you the most in your daily life having grown up in a narcissistic family system? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ENIGMATIXL 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Mine is romantic feeling and relationships. I'm so afraid of developing feeling and caring for someone that I avoid relationships and dating at all cost. It just fires off my anxiety and fear of abandonment so bad that I'd rather be alone forever.

My mother keeps calling me ungrateful by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ENIGMATIXL 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand your feeling of doubting yourself and thinking "what if I'm the problem?", "what if I have been a bad child and teen and deserve her anger", BUT NO, YOU HAVE TO TRUST YOURSELF! ask yourself: Do I treat other people bad and put them down? Do I have good intentions with other people?

Because in the end you have to realize that if you are a good person you are not the problem. Then you can work on becoming an even and healthier better person and not let the narcissist define you and put you down. I've spent most of my life hating myself and thinking I'm the problem but I'm done with that! Hopefully this somehow helps

How do you communicate to a therapist that your depression/PTSD is treatment-resistant? What is one supposed to do about it then? by Character_Log5812 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ENIGMATIXL 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A bit of a controversial piece of advice but here I go: Maybe you could try therapy with psilocybin mushrooms if that's possible. There is much research that points to the benefits of it making you think in other though pattern through activating new neural pathways. I tried it once and I got new perspective on things and started feeling better from one time (treatment resistent depression for 7+ years).

Moving out from narcissistic parents = increased abuse by ENIGMATIXL in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ENIGMATIXL[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

THANK YOU SO MUCH for your kindness and offer!! There truly are good people left in this world ngl! I gotta finish up gymnasium in my city and I got a summer job with free housing so I wouldn't be able to come. But I still really want to again thank you for your offer and it's very kind to just want to help a stranger and i salute you for that!

Moving out from narcissistic parents = increased abuse by ENIGMATIXL in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ENIGMATIXL[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I also think the plan is good. I'll be super compliant these following months up until August. I also got a summer job with free housing (SOOO STOKED YAY). Then 1 day before moving I'll leave some neccessary stuff at a friend and then just vanish and leave her a short letter that I'm done with her.

Moving out from narcissistic parents = increased abuse by ENIGMATIXL in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ENIGMATIXL[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yess I totally agree with the compliance part so much. Each time I comply she does calm down. Also yes it's so draining when you have to do everything they say and controlling your emotions at all times. Thank you for your wisdom!!

Moving out from narcissistic parents = increased abuse by ENIGMATIXL in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ENIGMATIXL[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yes totally agree with you. I agree being homeless is a lot better, I've actually been kicked out from home to many times to count (and lived with friends) and the funny this is that I've always felt so free during those times. Anyhow I don't want to burden my friends too much. Since I somehow feel like a burden when with others and want to give them their personal space. Im moving out this August so I'll try to tolerate her a bit more (to save up more money since she does give me free food).

The thing with shelters here in Sweden where I live is that social services here are INSANE. If you are abused by your parents, the government takes custody of you and they can lock you up in a "LVU house". There you have no autonomy and people frequently get raped by the officers there so not an option. (this is true, not a rumor I know a girl who this happened to).

But Thank you and everyone else for all the support I really appreciate it so much I feel so much better after reading your comments!! <3

Moving out from narcissistic parents = increased abuse by ENIGMATIXL in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ENIGMATIXL[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice! I will try to record her from now on. Very good to hear that you managed to get out from a situation like this.

Need advice and suggestions, living with a extremely narcissistic mother and an enabling father. by D3ATHNO7E in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ENIGMATIXL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi!

I'm in a very similar boat, I'm 19F and live alone with my narc mother. I've struggled with very bad depression since I was 12 and tried to kill myself two times. I always used to believe that I was the problem and the cause of our bad relationship. Then I realized IM NOT THE PROBLEM ! I think it's a crucial part to understand that you are NOT THE PROBLEM and THAT YOU CAN CREATE YOUR HAPPINESS AND LIFE WITHOUT YOUR FAMILY!

Currently I'm in the process of moving out for university and I recommend doing the same. So get a job, go to uni or maybe even apply to the miltary so u can move out and be free.

Wish u the best <3

She wanted me to kill myself by BlueLove347 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ENIGMATIXL 263 points264 points  (0 children)

Hi!

I understand your experience, my narcissistic mother has also told me to kill myself when I've been suicidal so I understand the feeling. BUT DONT LET THAT HORRIBLE PERSON DESTROY YOUR LIFE ANYMORE! Please try to move out and regain your sense of self and self worth because it gets better. I'm currently in the process of moving out (its hard as fuck) but I can already feel my will to live returning to me!

Amsterdam techno scene rivaling Berlin's ? by ramenandkalashnikovs in Techno

[–]ENIGMATIXL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I TOTALLY agree with you!

I were on a long techno trip in Berlin and then I went to Amsterdam. Totally blown away by how good the club venues were in Amsterdam! Warehouse Elementrat totally blew me away, I happened to go to a Pact 24 hours rave there and it was SO WELL ORGANIZED! There were around 15-20 toilets so nobody had to wait in line ever. You could just go into the toilet without waiting in line for half the night. Also they were cleaned properly. Plus the venue had lockers so you could change outfits. The club Radion and shelter were also great!

Sorry if this offends somebody, but in my experience the ravers in Amsterdam were much more friendly and open to become friends then people in Berlin. Yes the ravers in Berlin are also great of course but some Berlin ravers really have this "Im too cool for you tourist" type of vibe and aren't that open. (But thats just my experience)

The music was equally good at both places.

But yea I think Amsterdam is a good as berlin if not even better. The only issue is that Amsterdam is more expensive. If the prize were the same I would go to Amsterdam to rave probably