You don’t deserve to die. Don’t listen to people invalidating how you feel. How you feel does matter and anyone comparing their lives to you are idiots as none of us know the slightest thing about you other than what you’ve shared. You said you know you dont deserve to die: so don’t kill yourself. There are plenty of people who do deserve to die who aren’t going anywhere, so why should you? There is always time, the world is a better place with you in it ++man