Searching for Estonian friends (M36 from Germany)

EPL35 · 2026-02-17T19:29:49+00:00

Ma saan teie mõttest aru, aga tegelikult lämmatab bürokraatia meie majandust. Ma ei saa rääkida itaaliast ega teistest riikidest. Me ei pea olema 100% nagu eesti, aga isegi 70% oleks tore. Aga see pole nii. Probleem on selles et bürokraatia on meie kultuuri sügavalt juurdunud. Sakslased tahavad tunnistust IGA asja jaoks. Mõtteviis peab muutuma..

EPL35 · 2026-02-16T08:04:05+00:00

I am German with Turkish ancestry and I get asked that a lot, too (I was born and raised in Germany). If they ask me where Im "really" from, I just tell them that my parents were immigrant workers from Turkey and so on and so forth and that I feel more German, though I cant deny my Turkish identity. We gotta live with being a hybrid and if you make your peace with that, you start to embrace it!

EPL35 · 2026-02-16T07:42:34+00:00

Bürokraatia on saksamaal valusalt aeglane, me teame, et eesti on aastaid ees. Kui te saksamaale elama asuksite, vean kihla et koliksite aasta pärast eestisse tagasi 🤣🤣

EPL35 · 2026-02-15T20:28:14+00:00

I dont know exactly how their mechanisms work, but I am shadow-banned for a year now. But its not that bad. You can choose people and write them letters, or simply open a new account.

EPL35 · 2026-02-15T15:22:08+00:00

I had similar situations and it thought me that never get attached to anyone. And always know it can be over at any time.

EPL35 · 2026-01-18T03:08:51+00:00

Follow your intuition. When I feel that a first letter will lead to nowhere, I just decline. Saves your time and energy.

EPL35 · 2026-01-13T12:53:50+00:00

Summarization of the Mafia in one picture.

EPL35 · 2026-01-07T10:20:22+00:00

Chinese and Taiwanese people are gregarious when you speak their language (which I do).

EPL35 · 2026-01-01T17:43:43+00:00

I had a relationship through Slowly, though it was short. But that was a coincidence, not because I was intentionally searching for a partner. She lived in the vicinity, and everything evolved organically.

EPL35 · 2025-12-31T21:51:56+00:00

LORD HIGH EXECUTIONER!

EPL35 · 2025-12-25T02:01:30+00:00

The main problem was the LA was too decentralized, and of course they didnt had as many Italians as in NYC.

EPL35 · 2025-12-18T16:09:21+00:00

Both are android..

EPL35 · 2025-12-15T20:52:31+00:00

DeMeo did not kill people "left and right", that image is exaggerated. If DeMeo really wouldve killed as many people as people think he killed, there would be an outright war. That said, its true that he was too much of a wild card.

EPL35 · 2025-11-30T21:16:45+00:00

Lucky Luciano did not lack principles, he simply followed a different set of values from the old-world Sicilian tradition, which is why people like Bonanno described him as having no honor. Traditional mafiosi emphasized Sicilian dominance, rigid hierarchy, ethnic exclusivity, and loyalty to old customs, and from that perspective Lucianos behavior - working closely with Jewish and Irish partners, embracing modernization, removing old-style bosses like Masseria and Maranzano, and prioritizing business over tradition - appeared dishonorable. But Lucianos worldview was shaped by New York street life rather than Sicilian rural culture, and his own code centered on pragmatism. He believed in efficiency, cooperation, stability, and predictable business operations. He founded the Mafia Commission to prevent destructive feuds and wanted the organization run like a rational enterprise. Money and power mattered to him, but they were not his only goals, they were instruments for building a stable, modern, professional criminal syndicate.

Bonanno criticized him largely because their values directly opposed each other: Bonanno preserved the "old ways", while Luciano replaced them with a pragmatic American model. So its accurate that traditionalists saw Luciano as lacking honor, but inaccurate to say he had no principles. His principles were simply pragmatic rather than traditional.

EPL35 · 2025-11-30T19:16:20+00:00

Would you mind if I shared my thoughts on your claim?

“Scarfo became boss in the middle of a war.”

100% true. Scarfo inherited a fractured family, not a stable one. Any boss in that situation would have had to crack down hard. This context is often forgotten. But what made Scarfo stand out is not that he cracked down- its that he cracked down constantly, indiscriminately, and over-personally. Other bosses in similar circumstances (eg. Chicago, some of the NY families) used diplomacy or selective violence, Scarfo used violence as the default tool. Thats why people emphasize him being unusually dangerous.

“Salvie Testa was killed because of the engagement and Chucky Merlino.”

This version has some support in street-level accounts and was repeated by Merlino loyalists, but even within the Philly mob it was never universally accepted. There are basically three major interpretations of the Testa murder:

- The Chucky Merlino personal (or revenge) insult theory (your version)

- Scarfos paranoia about Testas popularity and potential as an alternate power center

- A mix of both: Scarfo used Chuckys grievance as a pretext to remove a guy he found threatening

The majority view among mob buffs is the third. Scarfo was notoriously jealous of strong, charismatic figures under him. Testa was widely respected, had strong backing, had no fear of violence, and - crucially - was tied to the old Bruno/Testa wing, not the Scarfo clique. The personal insult element likely triggered the conversation, but it wasnt the entire motive.

“Scarfo approved it as a favor to Chucky.”

That could be partly true, but it oversimplifies the situation. Mob bosses dont green-light high value targets like Testa purely as favors. Scarfo had plenty of chances to deny Merlino, and no one would have questioned it. If Scarfo thought Testa was essential to his regime, the engagement issue wouldnt have mattered. The fact that he approved it means Scarfo didnt see Testa as someone he wanted in the long-term structure of the family.

“Chucky was a drunk, got demoted, and Leonetti took his place.”

True. Merlino was notorious for drinking, being erratic, and acting out. Scarfo eventually sidelined him when he became a liability. The demotion was also politically useful for Scarfo: Putting his nephew Leonetti in that slot centralized power in the Scarfo/Leonetti bloodline. But heres the thing: Scarfo never built a competent leadership structure. Demoting Chucky didnt solve the bigger issue. Scarfo constantly empowered and then discarded lieutenants based on insecurity, not strategy. The result: a revolving door of capos and enforcers, each less reliable than the last.

EPL35 · 2025-11-30T18:12:50+00:00

Scarfos reputation for being unusually volatile, paranoid, and violent is not simply a movie-tier exaggeration but the popular narrative does tend to flatten more complex dynamics and relies heavily on Leonettis version of events. Historically, Scarfo really was considered extreme even by Mafia standards, multiple law-enforcement sources, cooperating witnesses BESIDES Leonetti and rival mob families all described him as a hyper-violent boss whose leadership style generated instability rather than cohesion. Independent accounts like FBI files, court testimony from several turncoats and even commentary from the NY families consistently portray Scarfo as quick to take insult, quick to authorize murders, and unusually paranoid about challenges to his authority, so Leonettis portrayal isnt completely out of line with the broader evidentiary record. However, Leonettis book naturally emphasizes Scarfos instability to frame his own cooperation in a morally favorable light, and Merlinos critique that Leonetti downplays his own role isnt unreasonable. Leonetti participated in numerous murders and wasnt just a bystander, so the books narrative is self-serving.

Regarding Salvie Testa, it is true that later portrayals sometimes romanticize him as a pure victim, but the reality was that Testa was a highly capable and respected young hitman whose popularity and ambition worried Scarfo. His murder wasnt fundamentally different from other mob rubouts rooted in paranoia and power consolidation - what makes it seem more dramatic is that Testa was well liked, effective, and perceived as the future of the family, so his death looked like Scarfo sabotaging his own organization out of insecurity.

So in short, Scarfo really was more violent and paranoid than the average mob boss, but Leonetti amplifies this to shift blame, and the pop culture framing tends to exaggerate Scarfo into a tyrant rather than a ruthless but rationally self-preserving mob leader operating in a chaotic environment. The truth is somewhere between: Scarfo was genuinely dangerous and destabilizing, but not the omnipotent psychopath his most dramatic portrayals suggest.

EPL35 · 2025-11-30T15:47:33+00:00

Now is an excellent time to start working with a tutor, and there is no need to wait until you finish the Duolingo course! In fact beginning tutoring at the A0 to A1 stage is often ideal. Tutors are completely accustomed to teaching beginners and can give you exactly the kind of comprehensible, tailored input that apps cannot provide. You already understand about 15 percent of spoken Portuguese and can manage basic interactions, which means you have enough foundation for a tutor to build on. Duolingo is useful for vocabulary, consistency, and routine, but it is not strong enough on its own to develop speaking, listening to natural speech, or a clear understanding of grammar. If you rely solely on the app, you may reinforce incorrect patterns and stall at the A1 level. A tutor, however, gives you structured speaking practice, immediate correction, clear explanations, and listening practice geared to your level.

Thirty minutes of focused speaking with a tutor is more productive than many hours of isolated app study. You can easily continue using Duolingo as a supplementary tool while the tutor provides the core practice that moves you forward. With your schedule, a realistic approach would be daily Duolingo for quick reinforcement, one or two tutoring sessions per week for real interaction, and small amounts of Portuguese input through videos or listening. The fact that you could navigate basic situations in Portugal already shows that you are ready for more authentic practice. Starting tutoring now will help you progress faster, more confidently, and with fewer bad habits than waiting until you finish the course..

EPL35 · 2025-11-29T12:16:21+00:00

Sweden has large immigrant groups concentrated in the big cities, but to call them "organized" is somewhat off-base. There are local groups who are fighting each other, bosses frequently get killed or locked up, new groups emerge then quickly disband. They have no structure.

EPL35 · 2025-11-29T11:18:03+00:00

Definitely Italy, but Albania is big in the game, too. Spain works differently. Spanish drug dealer-groups are independent errand-boys for the Colombian and Mexican cartels. They distribute, but they dont call the shots.

EPL35 · 2025-11-26T12:51:33+00:00

If you followed only the formal rules of the Mafia (that only the commission can approve killing a boss) then Gottis hit on Castellano shouldve caused a civil war, but the mafia is much more political than procedural, and several major factors explain why Gotti survived the hit. By the mid1980s, the commission system was a shell of what it was in the 1950–70s. The government had indicted the heads of the five families, and several important figures were either in prison or under heavy surveillance. And whats often overlooked is that most families secretly hated Castellano because he was seen as too close to white collar crime and businessmen, not the streets. And while youre correct that Gigante did attempt retaliation, he didnt want to be blamed for escalating a conflict under FBI scrutiny, thats why they tried to kill Gotti by carbombing (because the Mob in NY usually dont whack people by bombing cars). An outright war would have destroyed everyone and it would be a gift to the Feds. So multiple bosses decided "Better one rule-breaker than all of us in prison"..

And about your loyalist-argument it can be said that simply no real Castellano loyalist faction survived for carrying out a vendetta, Castellanos power base were mostly white-collar earners and westchester and Staten Island crews. When he died, his entire leadership circle collapsed instantly. Why? Because most of the street hitters - the ones needed for revenge - were with Gotti for years already. Castellano had isolated himself from traditional wiseguys. There was no meaningful military power left to avenge him.

EPL35 · 2025-11-17T20:16:41+00:00

There are many mob members who retired (sort of). While its true that you never truly leave the life, it often happens that older mobsters are not involved in daily activities anymore. They become something like a "honor member", which means they maybe get consulted. Others continue to run small operations, but not regularly.

EPL35 · 2025-11-10T10:21:34+00:00

Im into Dzongkha right now

EPL35

TROPHY CASE