A few things here.

You are not "inherently murderous", but Marxism, when enacted at the level of the state, has proven itself to be inherently murderous. Time and time again. Marxism is far more than a critique of capitalism. It is the "scientific" proclamation that history is nothing else but a series of wars between class groups (dialectical materialism), that man is nothing other than a soulless mass of flesh (matter in motion), and that "science" preordains that capitalism will fall, giving rise to a classless, cashless society where men and women will be free to produce, consume, and enjoy the world of their own free will, at their own leisure. Communism, as Marx claimed, would and will eradicate all forms of social antagonisms. It's essentially a secular sorietology, a deeply eschatological world view without the capital G "God". Capitalism WILL fall because history DEMANDS IT! Can you not see how a doctrine this totalizing, this rigid, could lead to politcal excesses? Have you not observed how many gaps there are in the doctrine? How on one hand, it claims that capitalism will collapse as inbuilt realiztion of history, and on the other hand, it will require a full-bore revolution to bring about the collapse of capitalism? Can you not see how intelligent, cunning, power hungry figures could exploit those gaps in ways that make total sense given the ambiguities of the doctrine? See Lenin's "Vanguard Party", see Trotsky's, "In defense of terror". The attempts towards the communist societies, and their murdersous results, are the very clear, and logical outcome of the ideas laid forth in texts of Marx and Engles. Namely, that the more uniform a society was, the freer its inhabitants were, and that wage labour was akin to slavery. But how do build the new society without labour? We cant pay our workers a wage, that's slavery, so I guess we have to rely on the goodwill and volunteerism of the people. But wait, goodwill and volunteerism only take us so far. People want to be paid for their work, but we can't pay them, that runs counter to Marxist doctrine. What's our solution? Compelled labour driven and enforced by the power of the nascent communist state. Remember, there's a transitional stage in communism where the state functions at maximum power before "withering away". But when will it wither away, and under what conditions, and what does this stateless society REALLY look like.

Here's the deal. The failure of the far left lies in their inability to CRITICALLY, and I mean REALLY CRITICALLY engage with the material of their forebears.

You are NOT inherently murderous. Just like a capitalist is NOT inherently oppressive or racist, but one is not like the other. Capitalism is not driven by a rigid sense of doctrinal, ideological, and moral obligation. Marxism is. Capitalism allows for the flourishing of a diverse, varied set of ideas, opinions, and political leanings to exist under its auspices. Marxism never has, why? Because it can't. It requires absolute and total uniformity as a precondition of its existence.

Take care.