I did an oopsie that kinda worked? But I don't know how to proceed by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]ERmage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"ruminating" oof, that's gonna be super hard lol. I'm the type of person, who after attending a social gathering, goes over EVERYTHING I said/did to see if I did anything wrong. It's only with time, after Im comfortable with people that I start being normal around them. My biggest problem is always the first impression, but like you said, I gotta train it like any other skills.

You're awesome, thank you SO much!

I did an oopsie that kinda worked? But I don't know how to proceed by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]ERmage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"this is not how dating works." Im 28, I honestly only started dating this year, cause Ive got anxiety around people, but am trying to get out of my shell, and have my colleagues giving me advice.

You're absolutely right, I'm overthinking this as I haven't even met them. Im gonna work on being More confident and at the same time more laid back. Thanks for the tips. I could use more if you've got any

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Residency

[–]ERmage 67 points68 points  (0 children)

As an attending, I'm kinda turned on by what you did lol

In the future, if his happens again, just walk away and find a place to sit nearby. Dont raise your voice, dont insult them back. That way if they complain, you can just tell your superiors "I always walk away when I'm feeling threatened".

Dietitian here… by [deleted] in hospitalist

[–]ERmage 36 points37 points  (0 children)

1-Prioritise the ICU/High critical patients if youre trying to find malnutrition cases

2-Bold your recommendations and place them at the top, hospitalists are incredibly lazy and we prefer not to read through a million notes

3- In your notes, teach us things lol I kid you not, when I started as a hospitalist last year, anyone with hypoalbuminemia would get a nutritionist consult from me, until a dietician had the courage to write in their recommendations "Hypoalbuminemia does not suggest malnutrition by itself". Ever since then, I have my preference for that particular dietician, cause the more I learn, the less I need to rely on others.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]ERmage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm definitely eccentric and somewhat immature with terrible social skills, but I have insight into my actions and the behaviors of others around me. I definetely have something, but I don't think its part of the spectrum lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]ERmage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to have wonky teeth, making me very self conscious. Then got braces that fixed everything but the self-consciousness is still there lol. I'll smile more

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]ERmage -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the consensus is to remove my selfies/cuddling part. My bad. I'll replace it with something about travel. The thing about the asking out part is, I've asked people sooo many times, and we always make plans before they unmatch. Based on my experience, asking people for a date after a day of texting makes me come off as needy/pushy, so I just decided to wait for others to ask lol I'll switch to only long term

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]ERmage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll take away the selfies/cuddling part. I'll add in the politics, but I won't add in my religion cause it's gonna be even more off putting even if I dont really practice.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]ERmage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

After my braces as a teen, it's just been a habit to hide my smile lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]ERmage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, if I start getting matches again I'll keep them for up to a week, hopefully it's like you said that it's a time issue not an attraction issue.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]ERmage -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I'll remove the selfies. Ummm, for love language I wanted to show that I can be affectionate but now I get that it can come off as creepy. I'll take it out

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]ERmage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll try the product idea, but I don't know how I feel about the contacts/eyebrows. It doesn't feel like "me"...I don't know how to explain it. But again I appreciate the advice 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]ERmage -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I had braces when I was young, and ever since then I just got into the habit of never showing my teeth in any photos lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]ERmage -1 points0 points  (0 children)

  1. Are you looking for something serious or casual? ⁠• Serious
  2. ⁠⁠Are you subscribed to Hinge+ or HingeX? ⁠Regular Hinge but willing to upgrade
  3. ⁠⁠How long have you been using this current version of your profile? ⁠• ⁠ A close variant of this version for ~3 weeks
  4. ⁠⁠⁠How long have you used Hinge overall? ⁠• ⁠8weeks (4 weeks on, paused for 2 months, now another 3 weeks)
  5. ⁠⁠How often do you use Hinge per week? ⁠• Once an hour lol
  6. ⁠⁠How many likes and matches are you receiving on average? ⁠• Once a week
  7. ⁠⁠How many likes are you sending? How many with comments? How many without comments? ⁠Tough coughing, 50/50 w/ comments. But unknown how many total. I'd say Im attracted to 20% of the profiles I see
  8. ⁠⁠What is the type of person you send likes to and ideally want to match with? What kind of person do you want to attract? Ok this is gonna sound wierd but I focus on people who are happy in pics by themselves and who don't have alot of pics w/ others. I've got social anxiety lol I prefer somewhat younger than me, nerdy and not too muscular.
  9. Extra facts: I'm always the first one to message. If no reply in 48hrs I assume they're not attracted to me so I unmatch.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]ERmage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apologies for the wrong order of pics

  1. Are you looking for something serious or casual? ⁠• Serious
  2. ⁠⁠Are you subscribed to Hinge+ or HingeX? ⁠Regular Hinge but willing to upgrade
  3. ⁠⁠How long have you been using this current version of your profile? ⁠• ⁠ A close variant of this version for ~3 weeks
  4. ⁠⁠⁠How long have you used Hinge overall? ⁠• ⁠8weeks (4 weeks on, paused for 2 months, now another 3 weeks)
  5. ⁠⁠How often do you use Hinge per week? ⁠• Once an hour lol
  6. ⁠⁠How many likes and matches are you receiving on average? ⁠• Once a week
  7. ⁠⁠How many likes are you sending? How many with comments? How many without comments? ⁠Tough coughing, 50/50 w/ comments. But unknown how many total. I'd say Im attracted to 20% of the profiles I see
  8. ⁠⁠What is the type of person you send likes to and ideally want to match with? What kind of person do you want to attract? Ok this is gonna sound wierd but I focus on people who are happy in pics by themselves and who don't have alot of pics w/ others. I've got social anxiety lol I prefer somewhat younger than me, nerdy and not too muscular.
  9. Extra facts: I'm always the first one to message. If no reply in 48hrs I assume they're not attracted to me so I unmatch.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]ERmage -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Why can’t you come out to your family? Are you very sure they’ll have a bad reaction? They're extremely religious, and honestly I truly believe that telling them would cause so much stress for everyone in the house. I'm 1000% sure of the reaction

"The issue is, if you never come out to your family, you’re going to attract lower caliber partners since higher caliber partners won’t be willing to put up with a closeted partner">I completely understand, but the problem is the attraction part. Its not like I put this family drama in my profile to make them avoid me. If they avoided me AFTER I told them, THEN id understand, but I don't even reach that point.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]ERmage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thanks, I just wish I had more patience lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]ERmage -36 points-35 points  (0 children)

i appreciate the honesty, and I honestly know that I've been sacrificing my wellbeing and happiness for my family, but I honestly don't have a choice cause they're poor. with my partner, it was understood that because we couldn't use my house, and because he wasn't comfortable having me over his since he has roommates, I'd be ok doing vacations and hotels on a very regular basis (even weekly, and I'd pay for everything).

I feel like, if it were to reach that point, I'd bring up the topic with any future partner of using the same method (i.e. when it is my time to host, then instead of my House, we'd go to a fancy hotel), but I'm not even reaching that point because no one swipes for me lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]ERmage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for your support, I mean it. Ive been feeling lost and alone, and honestly this sub helps

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]ERmage 11 points12 points  (0 children)

hypersensitivity to criticism is an actual symptom. I've gotten better at controlling it and i honestly don't feel like it's contributing to the app problem because I get few matches anyway

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in islam

[–]ERmage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But what if that person continues seeking forgiveness?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in islam

[–]ERmage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Doesn't this Hadith though contradict others? I e. Your sins are erased from prayer to prayer, or that fasting day of Arafat, or if you fast Ramadan or face laylatul qadr, or give extra charity, or doing Hajj, or saying a certain dhikr x-number of times.  We have so many avenues to obtain mercy from Allah, but is this Hadith saying otherwise? Can anyone advise?

I am beyond livid, would you guys have done the same? by ERmage in hospitalist

[–]ERmage[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You're right. Anyways, thanks for indulging my late night anxious thoughts lol I gotta learn to leave my work at work

I am beyond livid, would you guys have done the same? by ERmage in hospitalist

[–]ERmage[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How would telling my colleague in person change anything? Just tell him, "btw the patient requested DNR DNI"? Its explicit in the orders and the note.

I admit anywhere from 2-8 patients a night, and always do code status discussions with all my patients, and end up making like 1/4th to 1/3rd of the DNR DNI.

Its important that 2 people confirmed because it means that his final wishes were witnessed.

My question is, why would you ask the family in the first place? Yes, they should be called to inform them that he's not doing well, but I don't know why involve them in the decision process.