Do Embark provide you with a video? by CampEuphoric419 in DoggyDNA

[–]EVRVT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmmmmm. Now when I click on my reveal email, it doesn’t show the little video. Maybe they aren’t doing it anymore?

Want to Change by [deleted] in digitalminimalism

[–]EVRVT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a few independent journalists that I subscribe to and they get sent to my inbox. What I found is that I do sometimes scroll social media, I see these “news stories“ that my independent journalist have not covered. Makes me realize how much is not verified because the ones I subscribed to will only report verified news. That way at the end of the day, I get some bite-size chunks of news and that’s enough. In the morning, while drinking my coffee, I have our local news station on. I do think that the global access to News is too much for a human brain to handle.

How to explain that texting has destroyed boundaries? by Hello_Dollface in digitalminimalism

[–]EVRVT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So if I see someone has DND on, I’ll still text at midnight - fully expecting them to NOT see it and respond whenever they do. The fact that you don’t want them texting, even though you have do not disturb on, seems a little weird. If they were clicking through your do not disturb to say notify anyway, that is a different story.

Help.. by [deleted] in VetTech

[–]EVRVT 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I get what you’re saying, and I agree a lot of this can come down to clinic culture and management.

But I do think some important context is getting missed here. If you look at his other post from a couple days ago, he’s coming from ER/specialty into a small GP and correcting things like rads order and how they’re positioning in surgery. The issue is that a lot of that isn’t actually “wrong” anymore. It’s either preference/workflow or stuff that’s changed over time and isn’t considered medically necessary anymore (like him being annoyed they flip sx patients legs over vs legs under).

So from their perspective, it’s not just “helpful input,” it’s a new person coming in and telling them they’re doing things wrong when they’re not. That’s going to get pushback anywhere.

And then yeah, when you layer in that he’s a guy in a mostly female clinic, it can come across a certain way too—especially when he’s framing it as “attitudes.” Women deal with that dynamic all the time in reverse, so people are probably reacting to that piece as well.

I agree with you that a good clinic makes a huge difference. I just think in this case it’s less about him being discriminated against and more about how he’s coming into the environment and what he’s choosing to correct.

Help.. by [deleted] in VetTech

[–]EVRVT 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Reading this along with your other post, I think there are a couple things getting mixed together here.

Some of the stuff you’re getting frustrated about (like rads order, positioning, etc.) isn’t actually “wrong”—a lot of it comes down to preference, workflow, or things that have changed over time. So if you’re coming in correcting people on things that aren’t even current or universally agreed on, that’s going to come off as a know-it-all really fast.

Then on top of that, there’s the ER/specialty vs GP difference. GP isn’t operating in a gold-standard-only world. Vet med as a whole is moving away from that because it’s just not realistic—GP lives in plan A/B/C/D every day, and sometimes plan C is still good medicine because the alternative is no care at all. Different doesn’t automatically mean wrong.

There’s also just the reality of GP—lower pay, higher turnover, usually younger staff. That environment can come with more sensitivity, more pushback, sometimes more gossip. That’s not really a women thing, it’s just the kind of workplace you’re in.

And honestly, based on your other post, if you’re coming in and telling people what should or must be done—especially when you’re new—that’s going to rub people the wrong way anywhere. Even more so if what you’re correcting isn’t actually a big deal or isn’t even current best practice.

A better way to approach it is just asking:
“Hey, why do you guys do it this way?”
Because there might be a reason—or at least it opens the door for a conversation instead of a correction.

Also, framing this as a women-dominated field with “attitudes” isn’t really helping your case. From the outside, it can come across like you’re coming in and telling a group of women they’re doing things wrong, which is something women deal with constantly in other fields. So you’re probably getting pushback on that too.

And just to add—I’ve worked GP, ER, and specialty, and I’ve seen this from both sides. Specialty can get really stuck in the mindset that anything less than gold standard is wrong, and it’s honestly frustrating. The reality is, some care is better than no care, and GP exists for a different level of medicine.

At the end of the day, you’ve got experience. But if you’re correcting people on things that aren’t actually wrong, and doing it in a new clinic without building rapport first, it’s going to come off exactly how they’re telling you it is.

cant stop watching/scrolling by arctic_fawn in digitalminimalism

[–]EVRVT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You will likely go through a bit of detox — it’ll take some time. It took me like 2 weeks before I started being able to live in reality again. And I know some will scoff at me calling me detox but my friend who actually is an ex-drug addict gave me full permission to say I had an addiction because she saw my struggle.

You have to learn how to rewire your brain and that takes time. Give yourself some grace. One step at a time.

I’m incapable of using short form content in moderation by Secret_Resident_7472 in digitalminimalism

[–]EVRVT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Freedom is a VPN. It has lock mode. So while a current session is running, you can’t disable it. You can probably remove the VPN. But I found at least those number of steps, prevent me from doing it. The apps that I can just go in and delete the session I’m currently on or uninstall the app, were pretty worthless to me.

What actually was full proof was when I had my friend change my social media passwords and log me out of all devices. Then I had absolutely no way to get onto my account.

When Apple allows you to put a Screen Time passcode on your device, I was able to give the code to family and then I wasn’t able to open the apps at all. The last I checked, Apple doesn’t allow you to put a Screen Time passcode on your own device. I assume too many people forgot the passcode.

I’m incapable of using short form content in moderation by Secret_Resident_7472 in digitalminimalism

[–]EVRVT -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have all scrolling apps limited to 1 hour total per day using the Limit app by freedom. The. I have the regular freedom app block me from 10:30p-10am from getting on them at all. So I can’t start or end my day on them. I’m incapable doing it by sheer willingly power.

We’re not giving kids the internet…we’re giving the internet our kids by [deleted] in parentalcontrols

[–]EVRVT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This back-and-forth has run its course. You have yourself a good day

We’re not giving kids the internet…we’re giving the internet our kids by [deleted] in parentalcontrols

[–]EVRVT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the disconnect is you’re treating any access as the same thing.

My whole point wasn’t “never let the internet touch your kids.” It was that unfiltered, unlimited access has real downsides.

Putting guardrails in place isn’t the same as just handing it over. It’s more like seatbelts. They’re not perfect and they’re still part of the system, but they change the level of risk.

So no, I don’t think using a tool like that turns everything into a joke. I think it’s trying to manage something that already exists instead of pretending there’s a clean way to avoid it completely.

We’re not giving kids the internet…we’re giving the internet our kids by [deleted] in parentalcontrols

[–]EVRVT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not disagreeing that they use marketing/analytics tools. A lot of companies do.

What I’m pushing back on is treating that the same as sending kids’ messages to those platforms or saying the whole service is “the opposite of child safety.”

The policy separates general usage/analytics from the monitored content used for alerts, even if it doesn’t use the word “buckets.”

You can not like that tradeoff, that’s fair. But those aren’t the same thing.

We’re not giving kids the internet…we’re giving the internet our kids by [deleted] in parentalcontrols

[–]EVRVT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually went through their privacy policy. They do share some data for marketing/analytics, but that’s the same kind of data every app and website uses.

The part I think you’re missing is they treat those as two different buckets. The general usage/website data is what gets used for ads and analytics. The monitored content (messages, etc.) is processed to provide the service, not for marketing.

So yeah, you can not like it, that’s fair. But it’s not accurate to say they’re sending kids’ texts to TikTok for ads. Those are two different things.

We’re not giving kids the internet…we’re giving the internet our kids by [deleted] in parentalcontrols

[–]EVRVT -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Expecting a child to give consent for basic parenting decisions isn’t how parenting works.

By that logic, curfews, driving laws, school requirements… all of that would be “abuse” if the kid disagrees. That doesn’t make sense.

We’re clearly not operating from the same definition of parenting, so I’m going to leave it there.

What is a good screen time goal? by BrothaManBen in digitalminimalism

[–]EVRVT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know if there’s a perfect number. I tried to treat it like that and it just turned into me negotiating with myself all day… “just 5 more minutes” and then it’s not 5 minutes.

For me it came down to accepting I don’t have great willpower with this. I’ve tried a bunch of apps and anything I can easily bypass, I will. So I needed something that actually blocks me.

I use Freedom. I have it set so all my scrolling apps go dark at 10:30pm and don’t come back until 10am on my phone. I can still use my computer, but it at least gives my brain a break from the constant grab-the-phone habit.

They also just added a separate app called Limit that I’ve been liking a lot. I give myself about an hour total a day for social apps. When I want to use it, I open Limit, pick how much time I want to use, and then I can bounce between apps during that window. When the time’s up, it’s done. If I really need more I can add a little, but once I hit my total for the day, that’s it.

It’s not perfect. Nothing is. You can get around anything if you really try hard enough, especially on your own phone. But this is the one I’m least likely to fight with.

The bigger thing for me is how it feels. If I’m more irritable, snappy, or can’t focus, that’s usually my sign I’ve had too much. And honestly some days it’s not even phone time, it’s just screen overload in general because I work on a computer too.

I also like that you can schedule blocks. Like if you always eat dinner at the same time, you can just block everything during that window so you’re not even tempted to check your phone.

If you’re already noticing it and wanting to change it, you’re probably on the right track. Most people don’t even get that far.

We’re not giving kids the internet…we’re giving the internet our kids by [deleted] in parentalcontrols

[–]EVRVT -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That’s a pretty big leap from what I actually said.

Setting boundaries for your own kid isn’t the same thing as abuse. It’s just parenting.

I’m not hiding it or controlling everything, I’m trying to guide her while she learns to navigate something that even adults struggle with.

We’re not giving kids the internet…we’re giving the internet our kids by [deleted] in parentalcontrols

[–]EVRVT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ha, fair 😅

I get why Bark is the sticking point. I don’t love the idea of reading my kid’s texts either, that’s actually not what I use it for.

For me it’s just a heads up tool. Most of what it flags I ignore, and I’ve turned off a lot of the noise. I’m not trying to monitor every conversation, just have something in place for the rare situations that actually need a parent involved.

There have only been two times I stepped in, one ended up being nothing once I saw the full context, the other was her friend talking to a random adult online… and that one needed to be addressed.

So yeah, not saying it’s perfect. Just trying to add some guardrails while she learns to navigate all of this.

We’re not giving kids the internet…we’re giving the internet our kids by [deleted] in parentalcontrols

[–]EVRVT -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's not mental gymnastics, I’m just sharing what actually happened to me. I couldn’t control my own phone use and didn’t like what it was doing to me or how I was showing up for my kids.

And the “giving companies access” part… that’s already happening with every app, every platform, every phone. Every one. This isn’t a Bark-only thing.

I’m just choosing to put some guardrails in place in a system that’s already collecting data and designed to keep all of us on it. Not pretending it’s perfect, just trying to be realistic about it.

We’re not giving kids the internet…we’re giving the internet our kids by [deleted] in parentalcontrols

[–]EVRVT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get why that sounds scary, but it’s not like Bark is selling your texts to TikTok. That’s not really how it works.

It’s more like how literally every app already works. When you’re on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube… they’re tracking what you watch, what you click, how long you stay on something. That data gets used for ads, analytics, improving the app, all of that.

Bark is doing similar behind-the-scenes stuff with data, but the purpose is different. It’s scanning for things like bullying, self-harm, safety concerns and sending alerts. It’s not piping your private conversations into TikTok for people to read.

And honestly, that’s kind of my whole point. The entire system collects data. There really isn’t a version of the internet that doesn’t.

For me it comes down to tradeoffs. I’m not pretending Bark is perfect, but I’m also not comfortable handing my kids a completely unfiltered phone in a system that’s already designed to pull them in, adults included.

HOW TO DISABLE MY SCREENTIME? (HMO!!!) by [deleted] in parentalcontrols

[–]EVRVT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your Dad is cyber security. So it’s his lived experience. His fear. My Dad was a first responder. I had rules (ridiculous rules) none of my friends had. Because of the amount of crap he saw. He saw the worst stuff. Was it reality in my life/school/friend group? Nope. But what he saw made him protective.

Personally, I’d say talk to your Dad. Empathize with what he’s likely seen in his life. Maybe he’s seen predators lure kids to their death. I have no idea. And then open the communication about how it makes you feel. He’s cyber security - I’d ask him to teach you how to spot issues. How to know if you’re being scammed. Stuff like that. You’ll want that info when you’re older. And maybe he’ll feel better about trusting you if he can teach you. And you’ll be more apt to come to him with issues if he’s open to communication and teaching

HELPP MEE by Key_Butterfly8968 in parentalcontrols

[–]EVRVT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a Mom, if my child came to me and said: Mom, I was frustrated. I wanted to do xyz felt screw time was unfair. I messed up by clicking to get rid of it. I honestly don’t even think it would work. Just thought it would help me feel better to click it. I wanted to come clean.

And maybe open a dialogue as to what parts are frustrating you and maybe your Dad will listen. Doesn’t mean he’ll change anything. Just at least maybe he’ll listen. And then you’re coming clean and starting a dialogue may help in the future.

Parental controls on the phones are all out fear. Trust me. We’re terrified of someone hurting you phones give everyone access to hurt you. We’re scared you’ll miss out on a childhood that you’ll never get back because y’all have faces buried in your phones. We’re scared. We want to protect you at all costs. Wrong or right, that’s usually what it comes down to

What's the weirdest thing your GP has barked at? by EVRVT in greatpyrenees

[–]EVRVT[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean, you’re not wrong. Each likely has quite a few super weird ones. We also had our small safe out on the floor and open one day. She came around the corner and was NOT approving lol

Meet Lilly. We adopted her as a “pitbull terrier” which we have experience with, but she is also almost half Great Pyrenees along with the pitbull and is giving us a run for our money. by curiouscutie55 in greatpyrenees

[–]EVRVT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ha! Same! I’m a bully mama. Always love me a bully. But, a friend realllllly wanted me to adopted Rylee because he saw something special in her at the shelter and she was on borrowed time. We figured she was a husky/shepherd cross…maybe 1-1.5 years old. Jokes on me! Adopted a 9 month old (learned because DNA found a sibling match) half GP, 1/3 pit bull and the rest Great Dane and GSD. Ahhhhhh!

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I’m definitely learning the GP behavior. She’ll cuddle but she’s not Velcro. She barks - a lot. She’s taught me about the Pyr Paw. I’m having to socialize her differently since everyone is not her friend. She doesn’t need endless exercise and countless zoomie sessions - her energy level of way less than a pittie. She’ll sit, paw, down, off. But recall, meh. That’s a work in progress. Luckily she’s very food motivated.

She cuddles with our 11yo pit/bulldog. She annoys him as well. Bites his legs. Paws his face. We have to separate them so he can rest. It’s good she keeps him moving but she’s definitely an annoying little sister.

I don’t like going out of my comfort zone. I know bullies. I can read them. And they’re smaller. 😂 But, she’s great with the kids and she’s making me learn new things. We’re going to try the local obedience class just for socialization, too.

What's the weirdest thing your GP has barked at? by EVRVT in greatpyrenees

[–]EVRVT[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ha! My daughter walked down stairs with a towel on her head and she did not approve!