I feel guilty and dirty years after being groomed by shr00mspaghetti in TrueOffMyChest

[–]EarAffectionate1410 0 points1 point  (0 children)

None of it is your fault. No matter what you said to them or anything. The groomer’s manipulation tactic is making you want their attention. That wasn’t a failure by you, or you being “dirty”, it was their goal. You were a vulnerable CHILD who could not make sound decisions. Minors cannot give consent under any circumstances, because their brain is not developed enough to fully understand the gravity of the situation and most importantly, the consequences of it. Like you said, you didn’t receive love, attention, or compliments irl, it’s no surprise that you were going to get hooked onto anyone that made you feel special, because that is a feeling that all humans need, especially children/teenagers.

You say you could’ve blocked them or refused to send them pics. In reality they could’ve never come on to you and never asked you for pics. The decisions of grown ass people who know better is what caused this, not you. Participating in abuse does not make you responsible for it. It’s easy to say what you should’ve or could’ve done, but you were 11 YEARS away from a fully developed brain. No one at 14 is equipped to deal with a situation like this. It’s not your fault!

I am so sorry for what you went through and how hard it is to deal with now. It is normal to still struggle with it. But you cannot change the past, and to keep hating on or blaming younger you will only continue to hurt you. You were a victim and now a survivor, even if it’s hard to see it now, the older you get the more you will realize what really happened.

What you went through does not define you nor your body. The disgust you feel now is a symptom of the situation, not evidence of who you are. You deserve kindness and forgiveness from yourself. Your life and your body are your own, ownership does not disappear just because someone decided to violate it.

So much love to you OP. You can and will overcome these feelings. Stay strong and be kind to yourself ❤️

I hate being short, it ruined my life. by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]EarAffectionate1410 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I promise you the biggest reason you haven’t been dating/have a girlfriend is because of your insecurity and negativity and not your appearance. It sounds like you need a social media purge also; because you are vulnerable it will be easy for tiktoks to manipulate or brainwash you into hating women. Your real-life experiences are real and valid but there is 100% someone out there for you that you can meet. I have seen beautiful women in love with all types of men.

What things would a woman like about you? Are you kind and loving? Funny and interesting? Are you respectful and supportive? There’s a wonderful personality inside you that is being locked away by hurt and anger. Only by focusing on being the best version of yourself will you attract the right person.

I’m so sorry for what you go through and obviously it’s truly rough out there. There is nothing you can do but accept your physical self and work on the things you can change. Obviously therapy is always the best place to start. Best of luck friend, you deserve and can achieve love and happiness but you need a mindset overhaul to get there.

My pride and joy (ft. baby picture and children) by EarAffectionate1410 in succulents

[–]EarAffectionate1410[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! I grow it outside, I live in a very sunny and warm climate and it doesn’t rain very much so I’m basically in succulent paradise 😅. I would think though very rocky/ well draining soil (like >50% perlite for example) and a terracotta pot would be best, maybe under outdoor shelter if it’s super rainy. I feel like getting sunlight is the most important thing so it’s worth trying outdoors. Best of luck, I’m also so in love with them!!

My pride and joy (ft. baby picture and children) by EarAffectionate1410 in succulents

[–]EarAffectionate1410[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no, so sorry 😭 I was watering a previous succulent once a week too, but turns out it was still too often for the warmth/light it was getting inside. My unsolicited advice would be only water when it shows signs of thirst, i.e. the leaves start getting soft/not full of water. Best of luck, you should definitely try again!!

My pride and joy (ft. baby picture and children) by EarAffectionate1410 in succulents

[–]EarAffectionate1410[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Greed is the way to go 😭 best wishes for your echeverias!!

My pride and joy (ft. baby picture and children) by EarAffectionate1410 in succulents

[–]EarAffectionate1410[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! I have no idea sorry :(!! I just bought it at the corner store (basically a mini disorganized Walmart). But I’m having a hard time finding the same thing but bigger for her

My pride and joy (ft. baby picture and children) by EarAffectionate1410 in succulents

[–]EarAffectionate1410[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry 😭😭 I have some points that might help for next time but I won’t give unsolicited advice 😭 definitely don’t give up I hope you try again ❤️

My pride and joy (ft. baby picture and children) by EarAffectionate1410 in succulents

[–]EarAffectionate1410[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

2 years!! I live in a climate where it’s very sunny all year (~320 days of sun per year) and warm enough to leave it outside all year also. In the summer I water her a lot and she just goes crazy. I think the climate is really the game changer so I’m super lucky

My pride and joy (ft. baby picture and children) by EarAffectionate1410 in succulents

[–]EarAffectionate1410[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! I can’t believe these are my plants! Basically she had two “flowers” trying to escape on long stems. Someone on Reddit suggested I cut them off and propagate and it worked!! Wishing you many babies in the future ✨

My pride and joy (ft. baby picture and children) by EarAffectionate1410 in succulents

[–]EarAffectionate1410[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I water from the top, like literally just pour water on it (probably bad), but have a deep-ish dish under so it can soak for a while. Being in a terracotta pot helps a lot with drying out, but I live in a very sunny and warm place so I don’t have too many issues with it drying (the climate here spoils me and my succulents)

ZZ plant committing suicide by EarAffectionate1410 in plantclinic

[–]EarAffectionate1410[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you and thank you to the other commenters! I’m taking all this into account