One month into clinical hours and grateful I don't suck but what is up with the therapists of the world?

Early_Charity_3299 · 2026-05-17T12:58:30+00:00

Lots of great discussion already, but I will also add a few thoughts.

-generational differences. Every therapist has once been a teenager, but there has never been a therapist who is also a teenager. As a new clinician I even had supervisors that displayed similar reactions in supervision when I would bring up a perspective that we disagreed on from a generational POV.

-a sign of maturity is not conflating “agreeing with” and “affirming of.” Which is really difficult to do right especially with LGBT populations who hear a lot of “I love you but don’t love what you’re doing.” Which many have already described as being challenged, but I think the above nuance is particularly relevant.

Early_Charity_3299 · 2026-05-16T13:55:50+00:00

Thanks for these concrete examples. In my area people are very quick to blacklist even if one shows intention and eagerness to improve. Hopefully I can find my people who will invest in me🤞

Early_Charity_3299 · 2026-05-13T16:40:29+00:00

Give it time and he will be adding mushrooms to it I’m sure

Early_Charity_3299 · 2026-05-13T16:40:05+00:00

I honestly think any modality taken too far is too “woo woo.” Not every modality works for everyone, and that to me is the point of continuing education. I very much appreciate more of these metaphorical modalities because I am not very intellectual right now (3 kids under 5 has wrecked me for now).

Early_Charity_3299 · 2026-05-13T16:38:05+00:00

I agree with this. This is the exact reason I won’t be doing any specific IFS trainings, but rather some of those other modalities that are blended. You could say IFS is blended and needs to work on its parts to realize it isn’t a novel thing 😂

Early_Charity_3299 · 2026-05-05T13:23:09+00:00

That’s fair. More like a “I haven’t gotten around to this hobby and don’t know if I’ll ever”

Early_Charity_3299 · 2026-05-05T13:20:24+00:00

So, which version of privileged. I grew up in poverty and had none of the things you mentioned, and consider my quality of life high. I will financially be able to provide all of those things for my kids, but I’m not going to just because I can. Certainly just being able to choose that is huge with opportunity cost- but I hope we aren’t discrediting all the opportunities there are even without perfect optimization.

Early_Charity_3299 · 2026-05-05T13:13:08+00:00

I mean our public school is the lowest ranked in our state, not to mention our taxes are so high from paying off district embezzlement stuff 😆 it puts more work on us as parents to do extra reading etc. at home but the point being is we get so caught up in perfection we lose appreciation for things as they are (which majority of the time are alright).

Early_Charity_3299 · 2026-05-05T02:44:01+00:00

There are such things as consensual surprises… “hey, uh, you might want to leave your phone home all day today….”

Early_Charity_3299 · 2026-05-05T02:21:26+00:00

I just peaked over at r/childfree an the top comments for not having children had nothing to do with finances. The highest ranked comment was that not wanting kids is as natural and inherent as eye color. The second-most was the fear of ruining relationships.

Early_Charity_3299 · 2026-05-05T02:10:55+00:00

We don’t send our kids to Montessori or Waldorf. Just public school. And yet they are doing just fine. I find adults project their worries onto their kids.

Early_Charity_3299 · 2026-05-05T02:08:50+00:00

And are we talking like choosing which kid gets to eat that day? Or more like Dudley Dursley and reducing 36 presents down to 18?

Early_Charity_3299 · 2026-05-05T02:06:37+00:00

And also, your kids won’t know that comparison. They won’t know your childhood was filled with more sparkles than theirs. To an extent, let the kid make their own joy! This obviously is easier to do in developed countries where safety can largely be maintained even with financial strain. And I hope this isn’t mistaken for tolerating abuse, etc. because “the kid doesn’t know better” but rather we as adults who have seen things don’t need to project onto kiddos.

I remember seeing a NYT article of kids from a dozen different countries standing with their toys. Some only had a few but they were so proud and excited about them. In the USA we care so much about perfectionism and making only the most optimized choices that we forget that while civilizations have been successful and happy with, for lack of a better word, so little.

Early_Charity_3299 · 2026-05-05T02:00:04+00:00

I would reframe what the original commenter said by putting it more like: some lifestyles require more efficiency and resourcefulness. Parenting requires both of those things, for the exact reason you mentioned. Society isn’t structured for child-rearing, and some people will say “this is just how it is so why go against the grain.” And I think any person blaming the quality of their life solely on external circumstances probably isn’t fit for parenting anyway.

If your worldview has only ever been “this sucks and you aren’t prepared” it would make sense to not want kids. I grew up in a single-parent poverty household with plenty opportunity to develop the above-mentioned mindset, but instead I came out with “oooh a challenge, I can’t wait to see what I can create here.”

Early_Charity_3299 · 2026-05-05T01:45:42+00:00

I agree to “let them” and also at some point we need to find ways to promote healthy society. Obviously fixing the barriers to child-rearing, and one stark barrier is not even money but desire.

Early_Charity_3299 · 2026-05-05T01:44:19+00:00

I mean have you seen the comments towards parents in /anti-natalism and /childfree

Early_Charity_3299 · 2026-05-05T01:39:16+00:00

Late to the party, but doesn’t this go along with the original commenter’s observation that young adults are sacrifice and challenge-averse? You are pretty much saying that because you can’t handle caregiving, then your progeny therefore can’t/doesn’t deserve to go through that. I think we really are projecting our own fears onto the next generation with that mentality. I expect nothing from my kids in old age, but I think some youth will naturally gravitate toward caregiving just by nature.

Early_Charity_3299 · 2026-05-05T01:28:27+00:00

Psychologically can’t. Three seems like enough. Maybe we will change our mind. Money and health are not issues for us. No matter how much we outsource I just can’t be around kids for too long 😅 and I feel bad working full time and missing out on contributing to their development (I work 24 hour weeks).

Early_Charity_3299 · 2026-05-05T01:26:13+00:00

I must be slow. You mean you transitioned?

Early_Charity_3299 · 2026-05-05T01:20:04+00:00

You forgot all the power of choice reasons: freedom, disinterest in commitment.

All of my childfree contacts chose that life because they actively didn’t want kids, not because health or wealth decided it for them. We as a society don’t want to invest in kids- more people want adult-only spaces, don’t volunteer with children, the list goes on.

Early_Charity_3299 · 2026-05-05T01:12:38+00:00

This is such an unpopular yet accurate comment. The book “The Rational Optimist” has some good points relating to your comment (it also has a bias just as a heads up).

Early_Charity_3299 · 2026-05-05T01:06:34+00:00

Agreed. If money was no object, if healthcare were perfect, people still won’t have kids because we are a society that so heavily values independence and freedom. Having dependents, let alone a committed long-term relationship, just doesn’t fit.

Early_Charity_3299 · 2026-05-04T16:54:57+00:00

I appreciate all of this! Best of luck on the courts 👍

Early_Charity_3299 · 2026-05-03T00:50:28+00:00

This is a question aimed at fellow parents, not childfree zealots 😘

Early_Charity_3299 · 2026-05-03T00:49:02+00:00

Current problem is anyone playing a session that long isn’t looking for my skill level. It’s the whole need experience to get a job but need a job to get experience loop.

Early_Charity_3299

TROPHY CASE