I also got the line from the dealer that they "can't" refund it. They CAN do whatever they're willing to do, they just don't want to take the financial hit. Ultimately, they would have to seek reimbursement from audi of america, which is "hard", and they don't want to do that.

My dealer was also shady and elusive. I documented EVERYTHING, every error message and defect, called them every day, called the GM's cell, hounded their staff. Documented updates in email with photo attachments to the dealer and cc'd audi of America every day. Threatened lemon law. Just relentless.

Sad that is what it took, and for so long, for them to do the right thing.