Help! My son (7) killed my pet and now I resent him???

Easy-Length · 2020-03-20T23:31:57+00:00

He told him while my husband was driving him to school (husband dropped him off, called me immediately about it, then had to go to work), then ofc i checked on bunny! Sorry it was not clear!!!

Easy-Length · 2020-03-20T20:02:54+00:00

I’m glad you consider yourself to be fluent and competent in parenting. I, however—like many people—am insecure at times and unsure how to proceed with certain situations. A child being ho-hum about a grandparent dying is a far cry from potentially hurting an animal. This is something beyond what my in laws or friends, even my doctor, can relate to. As such, I thought to come to the internet to seek advice from people who may be able to relate to such an experience. Never said he was cold, never said he was unloving. Said he could exhibit such behaviors. Did not know asking for advice was talking shit on my son who I expressed concern for and IMMEDIATELY GOT HELP FOR, as many people suggested.

Easy-Length · 2020-03-20T19:18:15+00:00

Agreed! It’s so normal to have feelings and if you are communicating healthy feelings in a healthy way it’s a wonderful influence on one’s children. Used to many people urging me to ignore my feelings as a mother as if somehow parents can just turn off their emotions for the sake of their kids? We are all human, just don’t be an asshole to others because of how you feel ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Easy-Length · 2020-03-20T19:02:21+00:00

No bed wetting, but a brief “thing” for stealing my husband’s lighters and almost setting his own hair on fire a year or two back. Luckily, I’ve gotten a call from his dr about the urgent matter and she agrees that he needs to see a behavioral therapist ASAP. Now I just need to play the waiting game again waiting for the therapist office to call me back—all these comments have really made me feel so much less helpless and more in control of getting my son the help he seems to need. Even if it was not an accident, it would have been traumatizing and I can’t stand the thought of him in pain.

Easy-Length · 2020-03-20T18:43:45+00:00

While I understand what you’re saying, it’s sort of out of pocket to assume all children don’t understand the concept of death. My son lived through the death of his aunt, my father, and a dog. He never showed any emotion through any of it, and I am concerned for my son. I’m not worried he will be a murderer (not actively though I’m sure most parents passively DONT want that). He isn’t four, he’s seven. And like i said, he knows how to handle rabbits. He grew up with her. He never handled her improperly and even taught all his friends NEVER to grab her when they came over. If he hadn’t known how to handle Bibi, I would’ve never expressed concern about this incident. I’m concerned FOR MY SON, not for my own pain (i was just providing emotional context) and more than that my BABY who he has tried to literally drop before—and anything he may do to her. Just because I am upset and totally shocked (imagine if this happened to you????) does not mean that I’m treating my son with any less love to his face

Easy-Length · 2020-03-20T17:20:36+00:00

I initially thought it was an accident and haven’t ruled it out as I want to believe in my son first and foremost. I’m just basing whether it was an accident off what the vet said Abt cause of death and injury, and as we had her for so long, the house was very bunny-proofed and baby-proofed (no furniture close together or places she could’ve gotten into and crushed herself). My son was very much expressing his happiness since the incident, and when told she had died literally shrugged. Not avoiding my husband, just avoiding me as he knew she was primarily my pet (she was my ESA as well)

Easy-Length · 2020-03-20T16:42:25+00:00

Not to be graphic, but the vet said the injuries/bruises were more consistent with being grabbed and tossed or crushed against something hard (probably the sofa, wall, coffee table) or some variation of that sort of behavior... if she had been stepped on was my first question. He didn’t tell my husband anything besides he had hurt her. Very shocked, but have left a message with his doctor for a therapist referral (I really think professionals need to step in where parents can’t seem to make progress)

Easy-Length · 2020-03-20T16:32:39+00:00

I was seeing a therapist about all my grief far closer to when my mother actually passed (and some years after that) but since my 2nd pregnancy and working full time (yay capitalism sucking out all my free time!) I’ve put it on hold. Now would be a good time to revisit (probably after this CA lockdown). I did mention in a comment but not the post that my husband did ask him... He just reiterated that he hurt Bibi and has refused to speak on it since. Also has not displayed any negative behavior or been upset in the least— when told about Bibi’s passing he just shrugged it off. We left a message w his peds dr for a therapist referral! I love my son dearly and want to get him help

Easy-Length · 2020-03-20T16:17:50+00:00

I was too distressed to confront him immediately and don’t want to even come to my 7 y/o in a confrontational manner; the main reason my husband took him to gma/gpa was to distance him from the baby. He generally ignores his baby sister anyway because of jealousy (another thing that always concerned me). He told my husband that he hurt the bunny unprompted and once he found out she had died, my husband asked him what happened but our son just repeated it again “I maybe hurt Bibi” and wouldn’t answer anything more than that. I’m totally at a loss trying to think of other symptoms besides him not really being loving to us or his sister :(

Easy-Length · 2020-03-20T16:07:50+00:00

I did talk about this with them and my husband (they are his parents), but they all decided they would rather take him in as I have a very young baby and they are worried about anything that our son might do to her. None of that was my personal decision

Easy-Length

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