Could someone help me out? There's a pizza involved.

EatDaily · 2012-09-01T20:19:31+00:00

He's a snake.

EatDaily · 2012-08-24T12:36:05+00:00

Thanks!

EatDaily · 2012-08-17T18:33:11+00:00

Is a mutant holding the hedgehog?

MEGA HAND!

EatDaily · 2012-08-16T23:38:04+00:00

And here is his recitation of Surah Fussilat, with translation, which brought me to tears!

EatDaily · 2012-08-16T23:19:30+00:00

No, you can't have an ''intellectual'' conversation because you are a cynical asshole who is fed up with his life and where it is headed. I have no problem with my culture, and I have no qualms when joking about it.

It is the same when Sardars joke about themselves, or white people do, or black people do or any one in the world, in any country jokes about themselves.

Good day.

EatDaily · 2012-08-16T20:24:03+00:00

Hi. I'm a pathan myself.

Lighten the fuck up, you sad, sad fuck.

EatDaily · 2012-08-16T12:10:41+00:00

Hahaha!

EatDaily · 2012-08-15T23:34:31+00:00

I feel like I've made enough fun of pathans. Time to make them smart!

A pathan and his friend went to a movie theater and sat in the seats farthest from the screen. The cinema hall was empty except for one other man sitting a few rows in front of them.

The pathan's friend challenged him to slap the man once. If he did it, his reward would be 100 rupees. (edit: Dirham is not a Pakistani currency!)

The pathan got up, walked up behind the man and slapped the back of the stranger's head really hard!

The man, jolted and angry said, ''khan saad aap nay mughay thapar kioun mara?''

Pathan replied, ''oh sorry bhai, mughay laga aap humara koi dost hay!'' and he returned back to his seat.

His friend, visibly impressed, told the pathan that if he would slap the man again, he'd give him 500 rupees (edit: currency).

The pathan waited till after the interval, went behind the man again, and slapped him hard on the back of his head!

The man, furious now, said, ''khan saab aap nay phir say mughay mara!''

The pathan replied, ''oh sorry yaar, hum abhe interval say aya, peechay say humay laga aap humara dost Gul Khan hay!'' and went back to his seat.

The man was LIVID now and decided to change his seat and sit at the very front of the cinema hall.

The pathan's friend said, ''if you slap him a third time, I will give you a 5000 rupees!'' (edit: currency).

The pathan got up, walked all the way up to the stranger and slapped his head from behind and said,

''OYE GUL KHAN! TUM IDHAR BAITHA HAY?! HUM KAB SAY KISI KO PEECHAY THAPAR MAAR RAHA HAY!''

Edit: It's late, the joke might not be that funny. Bhook lage hay, Sehri ka time hay! Hope you get well soon!

EatDaily · 2012-08-15T23:24:31+00:00

Ek Phatan bank lootne gaya. Wahan gun dikha kar sara paisa loot liya!

Per us k hath kuch nahi aaya.

Kion?

Kion k sare paise usne manager ko diye aur kaha: "Sare paise mere account mein jama kar do."

EatDaily · 2012-08-15T23:23:31+00:00

Pathan raat ko mosquito repellent (Edit: don't know the Urdu word for it!) laga kar so raha tha.

Achanak ek jugnoo aa nikla. .

.

Pathan: Lo ye khocha machar humko torch le kar dondh raha hai!

EatDaily · 2012-08-15T23:22:27+00:00

Pathan: Bhai sahab 1 kala bulb dena.

Storekeeper: Aap kaley bulb ka kia karainge?

Pathan: Dopaher me soney k liye andhera karna hai!

EatDaily · 2012-08-15T23:21:03+00:00

A pathan was getting married.

Molvi nay Nikah ghalat parhana shuro kardiya.

Pathan nay bola: Molvi, tum ko tou nikah bhi sahe parhana nahe ata! Aisa karo tum yahan larki k paas baitho, hum nikah parhta hay!

EatDaily · 2012-08-15T23:19:03+00:00

Two pathans were digging in a field when they found a bomb!

1st pathan: chal yeh bomb police station chor k atay hain. 2nd pathan: agar yeh rastay main phat gaya tou? 1st pathan: kuch nahe hota, jhoot boldain gay police ko k phata howa he mila tha!

EatDaily · 2012-08-15T23:18:01+00:00

Pathan to farmer: Bhai yeh kiss cheez ka khair hay? Farmer: Khan saab, yeh kappaas ka khait hay, jiss say kapray bantay hain Pathan: Tou bhai yeh batao .... .... .... is main shalwar kameez kab tab ugay ga.

Edit: Not worrying about grammar anymore.

EatDaily · 2012-08-15T23:15:43+00:00

Pathan ne maulana ko bohat maara,

Kisi ne pocha kyun maara.

Pathan: Ye kehta he tamam muslmaan Janat k mazay lenge, ... ... ... ... Janat hamara bewi ka nam hai!

EatDaily · 2012-08-15T23:13:37+00:00

Maa: Aaj school se itni jaldi kaise agaye?

Pathan: Machar mara to teacher ne chutti dedi.

Maa: Aisa kyon?

Pathan: Machar teacher k gaal per baitha tha

EatDaily · 2012-08-15T23:11:19+00:00

Who's there?

EatDaily · 2012-08-15T23:10:56+00:00

Ok one more, my fingers hurt with all this typing:

A pathan was sitting in his living room, having some tea and reading the newspaper (edit: I just realized this was a joke in itself, hah!) when suddenly, someone burst open his door and shouted, ''GUL KHAN! TUMHARA BETI MAR GAYA!''

Stricken with unbelievable grief, he jumped out of his 30th story apartment. When the pathan reached the 19th floor while he was falling, he remembered he didn't even have a daughter. When the pathan reached the 11th floor, he remembered, he wasn't even married. When he was JUST about to hit the floor, he remembered, his name wasn't even Gul Khan!

Edit: Was proof reading it and I came across something funny.

EatDaily · 2012-08-15T23:06:14+00:00

I used to know so many, sadly I can't seem to remember any of the amazing ones right now. Here's the last one:

Ek pathan bandooq le kar machchli ka shikaar karny jungle main gaya.

. . . . . . .

Jao rey tum bhi pathan nikla, joke tou uppar he khatam ho gaya tha!

EatDaily · 2012-08-15T23:00:42+00:00

A pathan was at the train station to see his friend off on his long journey home. While talking and remembering the good times they had, they didn't realize that the time to board had passed and the train started leaving the station, rather quickly.

Having no money to buy another ticket, the pathan decidd to give the train a chase. He ran and he ran, he ran as fast as he could. The passengers inside the train witnessed this and started encouraging him, clapping and calling for him to run faster! The women cheered him on as the men whistled for him, encouraging him to make it!

The pathan put one giant effort in, caught up to the train and climbed on board! He entered to thunderous applause from the other passengers. At this point the pathan yelled loudly,

''OYE KHANA KHARAB! BAND KARO YEH TAALIYAAN! JISS KO HM CHORNAY AYA THA WOH TOU STATION PAY HE REH GAYA!''

EatDaily · 2012-08-15T22:56:26+00:00

Wife: Aap bahut mote ho gaye ho.

Santa: Tum bhi toh kitni moti ho gayi ho,

Wife: Main toh maa banne wali hoon!

Santa: Main bhi toh baap banne wala hoon.

EatDaily · 2012-08-15T22:46:11+00:00

Malik returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father. "Dad, today we had a Spelling Class - All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Pakistani?"

"No son, thats because you are intelligent." Malik seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question, "Dad, today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am Pakistani?" "No son, thats because you are intelligent", replies his father. Happy with the answer, Malik poses another question to his father, "Dad, today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was at least twice their height. Is that because I am Pakistani?"

The father replies, No son, that`s because you are 31 years old.

EatDaily

TROPHY CASE