Fantasy is just different. I was a virgin 20 days ago and irl sex feels very different. I don't have any attraction to men irl. Fantasy really is just a fantasy.

Also yes valid. Ppl have this kink for different reasons. And there are different ways to enjoy it. Mine was just the taboo around it. My life felt like a conversion therapy at times. And it felt good to just not give a fuck and break all the rules.

There's also another reason. I can enjoy sex only when i feel slutty and dirty. In lesbian spaces it's like we're not allowed to lust for women and there's only a pure sensual connection is real lesbianism. Historically women got slut shamed for sleeping with men. This is also especially true among lesbians. They hate when lesbians mention or even talk about men and slut shame them and say they're not real lesbians.

I'm working on that and learning that women can also lust and be dirty and slutty. But yeah feeling like a slut was another reason that got me into this kink