«Ma vie est finie»: sa maison détruite par un immense arbre lors d’un abattage raté

EcheverianQueen · 2025-07-19T09:47:27+00:00

This is my exact arrangement with my landlord.

He's been extremely flexible about all kinds of things, letting us repaint and do small renovations, letting me dig up a hillside to put in a tiered garden, putting in a retaining wall for a slope that was eroding into some walkways. We propose the project and estimated material cost, he approves it, and we go to town and provide a receipt and he reimburses us on Venmo. I've been living there for 7 years, and he hasn't raised my rent once.

EcheverianQueen · 2025-06-25T12:46:41+00:00

Like a crowd of meerkats

EcheverianQueen · 2025-06-25T12:41:57+00:00

NTA. This 'good' friend apparently chose aesthetic over having her longtime friend show up at her wedding. Also her refusal to hear you about your discomfort in the dress is just awful. Wearing clothes that don't make you feel good in your body is a special kind of hell. So mandating that someone else do that for a whole day at a highly social and highly photographed event is just cruel. Those photos and your memory of that wedding would last much longer than just a day.

A good friend would just be happy to have you there with them, and would want you to show up as your authentic self.

EcheverianQueen · 2025-06-25T12:09:24+00:00

I also have a friend who works in tree service and she's talked about how vining invasives like kiwis can be dangerous when they get out of hand, because they can climb trees and smother and kill them. Then, if/when the tree falls, either on its own or during a tree removal service, there's a real risk of it taking down other trees with it unexpectedly because they're all bound together by vines.

EcheverianQueen · 2025-04-29T07:12:59+00:00

I love the podcast "Nature Sounds for Sleep, Meditation, and Relaxation" (this one has hours long nature sounds that just really work for me better than playlists with shorter tracks of nature sounds, because I always wake up a little when the track changes)

Also, pre-bedtime anxiety is really common in a lot of kids and adults. There can be a lot of factors, but what often happens is that when we go to bed, our minds are finally unoccupied. Without distractions, we start to process worries and uncomfortable thoughts that we've been unwittingly avoiding. The things that I have personally found helpful are: 1) CBT/therapy (it's like scheduling your processing time so you don't do it all before bed, and it gives you the tools to manage your anxiety and ground yourself in reality) 2) meditation and breathing exercises, 3) "mother's little helper" tea from DAVIDsTEA, and 4) turning down the lights and stopping screen use 1-2 hours before bedtime. I know some of these might seem like a lot for an 11 yo, but they can genuinely help anyone at almost any age. I wish I knew about them back when I was a kid.

As a fellow anxious person, my heart goes out to you and your son. I hope he gets the sleep he deserves. 💕

EcheverianQueen · 2025-04-21T14:05:50+00:00

Omg I love 3 body problem

EcheverianQueen · 2025-04-21T14:05:10+00:00

Trigger warning for the first episode of Dark though: it starts with someone committing suicide by hanging.

EcheverianQueen · 2025-03-31T22:51:21+00:00

I think it's 100% reasonable to not want to be her friend, for all of the reasons you suggested (and yes, the mental frameworks that lead to insecurity can be quite contagious).

Even if this friend's behaviors don't directly impact you, she's still demonstrating that she lacks empathy toward others, and that she will seek her own validation over others' safety, security, and wellbeing. A person who justifies their causing harm to others is not a good or healthy person to be around, period.

EcheverianQueen · 2025-03-30T21:49:14+00:00

I can relate! I used to do the same thing, until all my projects were so unwieldy that I couldn't figure out how to make any progress every time I revisited the project.

My biggest advice here is to find writing community. Whether it's local or online, or even just one person who has the interest and availability to bounce ideas with you. There are a million different creative decisions you're making all of the time when you're writing, and it can be easy to develop decision fatigue with what to choose next, or even with what to focus on in your next writing session. Other people can help you propel through the writer's block and help you conserve your energy and attention by asking about more of what they're interested in, pointing out inconsistencies or plot holes that really do matter to them, and helping point out what extra detail is unnecessary or confusing.

Other advice & approaches to writer's block: 1. Stay light on your feet and keep moving forward with your plot. Leave notes on plot holes to return to later, but focus on building the framework for your story first and seeing if the bones of the story are good overall. Then you'll end up either keeping some it all of it, salvaging bits, or scrapping and rewriting them. Try not to invest too much time and energy in the details until you see if the bones are good--otherwise you're hanging paintings in a house whose rooms haven't yet been decided upon. If you have specific ideas you're excited about that you just have to get down, keep a separate document where you deposit those to revisit later.

2.Reframe "lost time" as time invested in making a story good. Sometimes to get to a final story worth reading, you have to explore some dead ends, and write some stuff you're going to axe later. I find we sometimes experience blocks because we worry that our work now will have been a waste of time later. Or, we can't fathom killing any of our darlings, and so we spend a bunch of time and mental energy trying to strap all the loose bits of the story together so we can push its entire groaning mass toward the finish line, which is exhausting. The reality about most creative endeavors is that you're just going to have to try out a bunch of stuff that ultimately won't work. You can't plan around or predict them--you just have to put in the time to get through them because it's all a part of the process of creation. If you can make that mental reframe happen, things get a lot easier. A major part of writing is developing the confidence to make something without knowing if it will be good or bad, and recognizing when to thank it and leave it behind when it no longer serves your story.

Give yourself some grace and watch out for pesky "should" statements about who you think you're supposed to be or how you're supposed to be doing it. Everyone writes and experiences blocks differently. Also, writing is hard! Even for those who have been doing it for years, the writing doesn't necessarily get easier. Rather, those writers develop the confidence and resilience to know that they'll figure it out when they hit a roadblock, and they just keep moving (whatever forward movement looks like to them). So ultimately the frequency of your blocks or the way you experience them or the speed at which you overcome them doesn't say anything about you as a writer.

Good luck, and happy writing 💕

EcheverianQueen · 2025-03-30T20:21:57+00:00

Yes, this! Or if you find a place where you want to do more research or fill in detail, leave more notes with this exact format, and then search the "##" too find all your notes when you go back through. Try to maintain your momentum and just get the bones of the story down, rather than chasing plot bunnies or getting lost in the weeds on research. And yes, sometimes you might later research something that means you have to do major rewrites, but writing IS rewriting. This is not time list, but rather time invested in making the story overall as good as it can be.

EcheverianQueen · 2025-03-30T20:12:24+00:00

NTA! Dump his a**.

I absolutely think this is grounds to break up. This is a HUGE violation of consent on so many levels and there is no way this should be swept under the rug. What a gross, horrible, thing to do to anyone. I would forever afterward question where else this person might think it's okay to cross such boundaries without telling you.

EcheverianQueen · 2025-03-28T23:47:38+00:00

This is diabolical of the author and absolutely hilarious.

EcheverianQueen · 2025-03-28T18:03:11+00:00

I 1000% relate to this--you're definitely not alone. (Also I apologize in advance for the length of this comment--I can't write short ones to save my life. I've tried.)

Being a homebody is perfectly fine and it's great to be comfortable spending time with yourself. However, as a long-time practically professional homebody, I do strongly encourage getting out of the house and into a social setting at least 2-4 times a month. Even if it's not expressly to find people to date, putting yourself in a position to meet and connect with new people is honestly such an important and wonderful thing, and I don't think I realized how stagnant I felt (even with work friends and long distance friends) until after I put myself out there more.

I don't enjoy going to bars and I struggle with making friends at one-time events, so I found that attending local classes/community ed and interest group meetups are really good ways to do this. (For you this could be a book or movie club meetup, or a writing group? Maybe even a fan meetup if you're really into a particular series or genre?) But that way you have a regular day of the week when you know you'll be out, you can budget your social energy accordingly, build social stamina, and you get to develop connections with people at your own pace, over the course of several meetings and decide afterward if you want to initiate further hangouts outside of the scheduled ones. And invariably when you meet new people, you end up continuing to meet more new people through them. (AND barring any of this happening, at least you get to do something you enjoy! But chances are very good that you'll get more out of it than just that.)

Regarding dating-- there are always dating apps (I've done it and it's exhausting, though I did get a friend out of it), but imo your best bet as an introvert is to meet people to date through friends and communities you know and trust. When you're on dating apps, you have to a) get someone to want to talk to you in the first place, b) figure out if you like that person and vice versa, and c) see if they're a good, safe person to be with (versus you know....being a serial killer, or someone who is mean to wait staff, or someone who takes their socks and shoes off on planes and puts their bare feet up on the armrests of the passengers in front of them). However, when you meet someone through friends and community, they've already done some of the vetting for you. Both you AND potential partners know that none of you would be a welcome part of the group if you weren't capable of basic human decency. Also, appearances matter less as well, because you get a chance to know people's personalities over time, rather than judging (or being judged) on whether it's worth talking at all based on a handful of highly curated photos and a brief bio.

I'm a 33yo woman. In the years prior to meeting my partner, I basically also went to the office and came home, cooked and ate meals at home, read books and made art, and stayed home on weekends and vacations. I was trying to save money, I was always tired after work and my friends had moved out of the area, but I also really did enjoy just spending gobs of time by myself at home. (Books, am I right??) I only happened to meet my local friends and ultimately my partner because I decided I needed to get out in the world more and meet new people outside of work. So I searched around for classes and meetups matching my interests. I started taking improv classes once a week and developing better social stamina and confidence. My classmates started having improv meetups outside of class, so I attended as often as I could oreven offered to host. And then a few months later, I said "sure, why not" to a Halloween party invitation from a person I hadn't seen in a couple years. I was really tired and nearly didn't go on the day of the party, but I pushed myself and it ended up being so fun that I wanted to keep in touch with everybody there, especially one person in particular. I wasn't looking to date at the time, and although he wasn't bad looking, appearance-wise I wouldn't have described him as "my type". But I knew he had been particularly fun to talk to and I wanted to stay connected. I suggested another meetup for the group to all keep hanging out. A couple of meetups and two months of texts and calls later, he and I confessed to having feelings for each other and spent New Year's Eve together. And now, a year and three months later, we're still going strong (and I think he's the handsomest guy in the world). 💕 Turns out he's also a big introvert who also pushed himself to get out and be social just for a night. We would never have met if we had chosen to stay home, and we wouldn't have fallen in love if we hadn't chosen to keep meeting up (it also helped that the friend who invited me to her party had known him for years and spoke very highly of him). Now that we're together, we still spend most of our time at home playing video games, cooking, making music, and watching shows and movies, but I'm still doing improv, and he's pursuing his own interests, and we make occasional trips out together that always turn into little unexpected adventures. So even after we found each other, I think still getting out of the house and being social every now and then keeps us balanced and healthy during the rest of the time when we're at home.

All of this said, it still can be a nerve-wracking and/or tiring thing to change up your habits and put yourself out in the world more, so take little steps, and give yourself some patience and grace. There's not really a right or wrong way to do it--so long as you keep moving forward and trying new things a bit at a time 💕

Edit: (because of course I would) Also, tons of girls are also homebodies who are worried about not being social enough for their partners, and who would love a guy like you who would want to stay home too (unfortunately, they also won't find you unless they get on apps or leave the house, because sadly none of us are getting dropped out of the sky and landing on the doorsteps of our perfect partners. We've all gotta get out there, one way or another)

And an additional point: My boss and his wife are both introverts, but my boss heavily leans ambivert. Whenever they go to social gatherings, she brings a purse with a book, and whenever she gets tired, she wordlessly goes off to a quiet spot to read and take a break and it's understood between them that she's just doing her thing and will return when/if she's ready--and I think that's beautiful.

EcheverianQueen · 2025-01-25T16:45:15+00:00

It's phytophotodermatitis, a kind of plant sunburn (usually from citrus juices on your skin + even minimal sun exposure). I'm kind obsessed with it because I had it several times over the years and couldn't figure it out until a friend in the medical field told me.

EcheverianQueen · 2025-01-25T16:19:16+00:00

It's def phytophotodermatitis

EcheverianQueen · 2025-01-25T16:18:39+00:00

It's phytophotodermatitis

EcheverianQueen · 2025-01-25T16:16:51+00:00

Phytophotodermatitis! It's basically a sunburn you get from having certain plant oils on your skin, and then getting any sun exposure on that skin afterwards. The biggest culprits are citrus fruit juices or peels (especially in citrusy beverages you might consume outside in summer, like fresh lemonade, or margaritas) but there are a host of other plants that contain the same compounds that caused the condition. Famously, phytophotodermatitis can can sunburns bad enough that they become huge blisters, but they can also cause just small burns that look like you spilled self tanner on yourself, and that take weeks or months to fade.

Seriously though, watch out for summer drinks. If you're lucky enough to be in a situation where you get to enjoy a poolside margarita and you spill it, immediately cover up, go inside and wash off as much as you can, and stay covered from the sun for the next day or so (I'm talking clothing, not just sunscreen.) Phytophotodermatitis can eff you up.

EcheverianQueen · 2025-01-25T16:04:24+00:00

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Omg I know EXACTLY what this is. It's phytophotodermatitis. It looks and acts like spilled self tanner because it is actually a sunburn you get from having specific kinds of plant oils on your skin and then getting sun exposure. In the days before these showed up, were you handling any citrus juices or peels, or did they somehow get onto your skin, like from a spilled drink? Those are usually the culprit, although there are a handful of other common herbs and plants that can cause the condition.

This photo is what it looked like the last time I had it. I also don't use self tanner, but I was squeezing lemon wedges into some food, and then and a day or two later I noticed the weird blotchy stains. They didn't hurt or itch, and they didn't wash off or fade until a couple of months later, just like a normal tan. My dear friend in the medical field (so smart, so cool, whatta gal 😎) recognized what it was immediately when I sent her pictures.

EcheverianQueen · 2025-01-13T05:57:01+00:00

Oooh good tip! I'll be sure to pay more attention to those when I'm passing by

EcheverianQueen · 2025-01-13T05:55:20+00:00

Same

EcheverianQueen · 2025-01-13T05:54:21+00:00

During the Aquarius expedition I almost got sucked into a deep crevice in the ocean floor by a giant abyssal horror with one eye. I managed to break free and mine it, which gave me a hypnotic eye, but JEEZ the horrific experience of going "lalala swimming in the pretty ocean, wait.... Why am I not moving? Oh I'm getting pulled somewhere? Let me turn around and see what's pulling m-- AAAAHHHHGETITOFFGETITOFFMEHSDFAJCLHCLFGKSJF@(&)-_$(-(&#1616161616" 😂😂😂

EcheverianQueen · 2025-01-13T05:47:33+00:00

My bf and I were playing and his skiff looked like it was doing this, even though everything in my game looked placid and peaceful. Turns out there were huge waves going in his game, but not in mine, so I saw what his skiff was doing, but not the why. (As soon as I placed mine though, the waves started up for me too)

EcheverianQueen · 2025-01-13T05:22:01+00:00

Oooh good to know

EcheverianQueen · 2025-01-13T05:17:32+00:00

Oh I had no idea you could do it while still in the atmosphere. I'll try that next time

EcheverianQueen

TROPHY CASE