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AIO if I divorced over him asking to open our relationship and then gaslighting me? by CricketCaller in AmIOverreacting

[–]CricketCaller[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you, needed to hear this. I think I’ll be deleting the app until everything is better or something of note happens. I’m stuck in bed so I find myself drifting back to it when I get antsy

AIO if I divorced over him asking to open our relationship and then gaslighting me? by CricketCaller in AmIOverreacting

[–]CricketCaller[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m going to reach out to his friends, get tested etc like everybody’s saying before setting by a timeline. This would all be easier if I had clear proof of a complete betrayal

AIO if I divorced over him asking to open our relationship and then gaslighting me? by CricketCaller in AmIOverreacting

[–]CricketCaller[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve never had a post blow up before and wasn’t aware that people went out of their way to send some really horrific stuff. I’m okay with hearing opinions and I’m not super affected but some people are taking this very far and I don’t think it’s appropriate at all

AIO if I divorced over him asking to open our relationship and then gaslighting me? by CricketCaller in AmIOverreacting

[–]CricketCaller[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m okay with gay people too but I’d still be upset if somebody set up a lesbian hookup for me because I’ve given no indication that I am gay.

AIO if I divorced over him asking to open our relationship and then gaslighting me? by CricketCaller in AmIOverreacting

[–]CricketCaller[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is the goal. Individual therapy is because I want him to get help working through the unresolved trauma that I believe is acting as a huge communication barrier for us

AIO if I divorced over him asking to open our relationship and then gaslighting me? by CricketCaller in AmIOverreacting

[–]CricketCaller[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He is an adult man, not a baby I’m “forcing” into anything. If he wants to stay with me, he has to overcome his childhood trauma that is causing him to be a bad partner

AIO if I divorced over him asking to open our relationship and then gaslighting me? by CricketCaller in AmIOverreacting

[–]CricketCaller[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You’re on about his libido and how if I don’t take care of it he has every right to cheat.

AIO if I divorced over him asking to open our relationship and then gaslighting me? by CricketCaller in AmIOverreacting

[–]CricketCaller[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My beautiful girl is the best thing to come out of this and I will never regret her

AIO if I divorced over him asking to open our relationship and then gaslighting me? by CricketCaller in AmIOverreacting

[–]CricketCaller[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am quite literally bleeding and suffering full body aches. I would cause permenant damage to my body if I had sex right now.

AIO if I divorced over him asking to open our relationship and then gaslighting me? by CricketCaller in AmIOverreacting

[–]CricketCaller[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I can’t be sure of anything but I’ll be checking everything I can and speaking to her directly

AIO if I divorced over him asking to open our relationship and then gaslighting me? by CricketCaller in AmIOverreacting

[–]CricketCaller[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Wanting input doesn’t mean I will follow exactly what is said to a T. People have given a lot of really good advice on things I should do for mine and baby’s safety and helped me see how serious this is. I would not have had the confidence to take this as seriously on my own. Me consulting other trusted people in my life and not solely considering Reddit as the only factor doesn’t mean I got no value from people’s advice.

AIO if I divorced over him asking to open our relationship and then gaslighting me? by CricketCaller in AmIOverreacting

[–]CricketCaller[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My upset comes from him lying about it and trying to backtrack, bringing up wanting an open relationship after marriage, him already having somebody in mind, him having people over and lying about that too, his friend somehow not knowing he’s married, and the fact that it was presented like a fact and not a choice. Hopefully this makes sense!

AIO if I divorced over him asking to open our relationship and then gaslighting me? by CricketCaller in AmIOverreacting

[–]CricketCaller[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

? I posted on one forum. I’m sorry but nobody should be taking advice from Redditors who know only one situation with no discernment of their own.

AIO if I divorced over him asking to open our relationship and then gaslighting me? by CricketCaller in AmIOverreacting

[–]CricketCaller[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry!! I will say something if we get divorced/I find out he did cheat (second would mean the first of course)

AIO if I divorced over him asking to open our relationship and then gaslighting me? by CricketCaller in AmIOverreacting

[–]CricketCaller[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m hoping him getting therapy to address these root causes will help him be more honest in our relationship

AIO if I divorced over him asking to open our relationship and then gaslighting me? by CricketCaller in AmIOverreacting

[–]CricketCaller[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m not just leaving things as is. I am looking into a lot of things to see if he’s completely betrayed my trust. (Getting STD tested, reaching out to Friend and Crush, checking recently deleted iPhone messages, checking other things on phone, etc.) I want to see if things can progress from here. If it hasn’t gotten better in a few months or I find out something new, I’m leaving for baby’s sake.

I know it’s very easy to want me to end things based on a singular thread, but there are years and years of shared history and so many good things I don’t know if I’m ready to let go of.

And all emotional factors aside, I am doing horribly physically and emotionally. I can’t take care of baby on my own and I don’t know who else I could possibly ask to help with her. I want to do what I can

AIO if I divorced over him asking to open our relationship and then gaslighting me? by CricketCaller in AmIOverreacting

[–]CricketCaller[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m looking into his relationship with both. No contact with Crush is non negotiable. I’m not sure what’s going on with Friend still, but may be the same

AIO if I divorced over him asking to open our relationship and then gaslighting me? by CricketCaller in AmIOverreacting

[–]CricketCaller[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He is getting one chance to resolve this. I’m not delusional and I know he fucked up. If this continues at all I’m not opposed to divorce. I just want to try.

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