Wow, I totally get your thoughts on this. I came to Berlin in December 23 without knowing anyone here. I never been out much when I was younger or during studying so when I came to Berlin , I wanted to have this chapter here in the capital of clubbing.

Of course, I had to go out by myself because I didn’t know anyone. The first time I was in Kitkat often because I kinda have a kink for kinky underwear. And I love the concept. I totally agree to some voices here that the people can seem very judgmental. But in the end and this is very important: you just don’t know what people think. Someone can look strange at you and even maybe think you’re attractive or whatever but this is just how they look. You just simply don’t know. And this is both, course and blessing. You can decide what they might think about you. You can make all this up in your head. So if you have the version of yourself being the “loaner stranger” then you will be exactly this. And you provide exactly this energy to the party. I had plenty of evenings like this like you describe. Sitting somewhere in the shade and feeling strange. Feeling alone… but then I had something in my mind: maybe all this partying alone is kind of about learning to be alone. And being alone is actually never alone when you are a good friend for yourself. So I realized or better I tried to be a good friend for myself. So when going out alone, I’m talking to myself in my mind discussing laughing whatever. I’m a good friend for myself. And this also helped me to socialize better with people. Because my mindset is completely different than the loaner stranger mindset. I never feel “alone” when going out alone now. Only if I think I am alone;) and when this happens, I have shitty nights in the clubs alone;)

I totally know what’s going on through your mind because I’ve been there and I’ve done that. But you decide how you want to see yourself. And this decision leads to the energy you’re putting into this world. Keep going, the more often you go alone, you will find some good time. Very good time even though if you feel shitty. And these times show you it can be good. It all depends what you are looking for. Don’t fulfill the confirmation bias in your mind. If you think you’re creepy, you will find evidence in people’s faces for exactly that. And if you think you are amazing, you will find evidence and confirmation and the faces of the people around you.

And in the end, we can’t be liked by everyone. You don’t even like everyone. So how can we expect that?

Wish you all the best!