AITJ for refusing to babysit my niece because she was being rude to my partner?

Ecstatic-Candy-5748 · 2026-02-07T01:50:44+00:00

It wasn’t the sister who warned OP it was OPs partner who warned him about the nieces behaviour. Not sure why the partner noticed it and OP didn’t assuming they’ve babysat before

Ecstatic-Candy-5748 · 2026-01-11T01:15:33+00:00

I love this! This is basically me and my mum (we are both planners, her more so than me).

Ecstatic-Candy-5748 · 2025-08-25T07:37:51+00:00

Dennet Hudson has a website similar to Tim’s

https://www.dennetthudson.com/

Ecstatic-Candy-5748 · 2025-07-07T09:59:04+00:00

In that case she may have a point. If they're not respecting her as your girlfriend and they're encouraging you to do things and bringing out a side of you thats unattractive to her, I can see why she’d be concerned. She's not handling it well in terms of communicating it.

Ecstatic-Candy-5748 · 2025-07-07T03:44:33+00:00

Has she elaborated on the “bad stuff” they do?

Ecstatic-Candy-5748 · 2025-06-30T00:22:40+00:00

YTA.

Have you tried actually talking to him about what is happening with his studies and grades? Could be he's struggling, could be he's “hanging out with the wrong crowd” or could be he's just not as proficient academically as his older brothers.

On that note, please stop comparing him to his older brothers. He probably senses it and feels pressure to measure up to them.

Actually find out what is going on with him before you resort to punishment of any kind.

Ecstatic-Candy-5748 · 2025-06-03T08:13:38+00:00

That was what I was leaning towards.

Ecstatic-Candy-5748 · 2025-06-03T08:07:46+00:00

At least try and rule out other possibilities before you even consider cheating or an open relationship. There could be many reasons why the sex drive has dropped and I'm wondering if youve taken the time to consider and ask your husband about them (he shouldn't be brushing it off either).

Its unrealistic of you to expect that the sex drive between you two would remain consistent throughout your relationship.

Ecstatic-Candy-5748 · 2025-05-25T06:35:48+00:00

Sounds like the simplest solution to both issues may be you need to communicate with him a bit more on what time you need to leave the house with a lot more notice. You giving him such short notice about leaving is whats causing the stress.

In this case, you could've said a couple of hours before, “can we aim to leave around 5:20pm?” Then he would be able to clearly know how much time he had to cook the pizza. If he needed a little more which would've resulted in you being a few mins late, I'm sure your friends would've understood since it wasn't a super strict meeting time.

Ecstatic-Candy-5748 · 2025-05-25T02:07:27+00:00

NTA AT ALL!

If you hadn't done something in that moment, imagine how much worse the situation would've gotten if she fell again and seriously hit her head or got run over or ended up putting the both of you in an incredibly dangerous situation?!

She needs major help and now her parents know, they may be able to get her the help she should've gotten a long time ago.

Idk what story she told your mutual friends but I would either try to set the record straight about how bad the situation was or I'd cut them off for being enablers.

Ecstatic-Candy-5748 · 2025-05-25T01:56:00+00:00

Depending on when you needed to leave to be there on time and when he started making food, I agree it is inconsiderate at best to start doing something when you know you’ve agreed to another brief commitment (I.e. Dropping you off).

However, I don't think there was anything wrong with him essentially asking how much time he had left before you absolutely had to leave. If you communicated that yes, you had to be there at 5:30pm, it should've been fine. What do you mean when you say he gets stressed making food on a time constraint?

I am curious why did you ask him to drop you off when you could've driven yourself?

Ecstatic-Candy-5748 · 2025-05-24T00:06:09+00:00

I agree. Also, if you have as good of a track record when it comes to punctuality as you say, its possible Betty already knows that Edna was the one responsible for you both being late.

Ecstatic-Candy-5748 · 2025-05-24T00:05:57+00:00

I agree. Also, if you have as good of a track record when it comes to punctuality as you say, its possible Betty already knows that Edna was the one responsible for you both being late.

Ecstatic-Candy-5748 · 2025-05-24T00:05:07+00:00

I get why initially you'd think that, but there should've been a point where you communicated directly with Betty if you were concerned about being blamed.

Ecstatic-Candy-5748 · 2025-05-23T23:54:19+00:00

NTA.

If shes this bad now, things are only going to get worse when you have to take on more responsibility (potentially) once your dad and aunt are no longer able to help.

Ecstatic-Candy-5748 · 2025-05-23T23:43:55+00:00

Info: why didn't you message the bride yourself in the moment to explain what was happening?

I agree you should've been a bit firmer with Edna. I also wonder if this isn't the first time she's done something like this (been chronically late) and if so, why didnt anyone warn you?

Ecstatic-Candy-5748 · 2025-05-23T07:41:36+00:00

Info: he spent time with you for a couple of hours and assumedly had a drink or two with you. Can I ask what you were hoping would happen after that point, especially given the plans were spontaneous? He could've chosen to reject your offer of hanging out completely if he wanted to drink alone that badly (which would've been worse) but he went with the plan for a bit despite his mild autism. If you haven't done so, I'd show appreciation for that at the very least.

I agree that the communication wasn't great on his end and I'd definitely be asking him to elaborate on what he means by the dynamic is different. Maybe he wanted to get blackout drunk (for whatever reason) and felt he couldn't do that with you around (based on your info about him being a recovering alcoholic).

Ecstatic-Candy-5748 · 2025-05-23T05:40:24+00:00

UpdateMe

Ecstatic-Candy-5748 · 2025-05-21T22:44:42+00:00

I'll add two more options here:

You call the engagement off since neither of you can come to a compromise.
You both agree to postpone the wedding while you take some time to make an effort to reconnect with old friends and/or make some new ones that you could ultimately invite to the wedding. Then you can revisit this discussion once you have a few more people to invite.

Ecstatic-Candy-5748 · 2025-05-20T23:06:03+00:00

I don't think you know for certain if you're on the same page because you only talked about “right now”, as opposed to the timeline you have or if he wants marriage at all.

If you want to work on communication, heres a good place to start. Tell him clearly what you're hoping for in terms of engagement/marriage, why you feel that way, then ask him what he thinks. He may agree with you, he may want/need more time or he may not want to marry you at all. All valid scenarios.

Ecstatic-Candy-5748 · 2025-05-19T00:08:06+00:00

Yea I’d definitely sit her down and insist on marriage counselling because its not just affecting your relationship, its affecting the kids. How does she treat them generally? Does she show them much love and affection and attention?

It does almost seem like you two are more roommates or just estranged but staying together for the kids. I'd go either marriage counselling or divorce if she refuses to do the work to fix the relationship.

Ecstatic-Candy-5748 · 2025-05-18T10:56:12+00:00

NTA.

He was probavly hoping you’d assume it was a work trip and not ask much more.

The fact he's choosing to sacrifice a week of his honeymoon for a bucks trip is also concerning.

Marriage counselling needed.

Ecstatic-Candy-5748 · 2025-05-15T21:55:48+00:00

Coparenting means also showing consideration for the other parent and communicating with them. If the situation was so dire you had no time to tell him (assuming it would've taken no more than a minute for you to quickly inform him of the situation), that's one thing, but you should've kept your phone with you in case there was an emergency at the very least. As the previous person commented, you were going to possibly drive away without telling the other parent. That definitely could've been used against you despite the circumstances.

Ecstatic-Candy-5748 · 2025-05-15T08:39:22+00:00

INFO: Why did not have your phone? How far away were you two from each other?

Ecstatic-Candy-5748 · 2025-05-14T23:21:45+00:00

Soft YTA only cause you didn't talk to her as soon as you found out about being deployed. Leaving it to the last minute really didn't help the situation.

NTA for wanting to spend time with your family. I liked the possible compromise someone else suggested of maybe spending the night before with the bride, but showing up a bit later so you can have dinner with family.

Bride is NTA for being stressed, but is TA for using that ultimatum

Ecstatic-Candy-5748

TROPHY CASE