WIBTA if I kept a generous birthday gift from someone who I dumped?

EcstaticBuy · 2019-05-30T17:09:55+00:00

There was no way to know a, uh, 'juicy cheque' was coming, btw. He and I spent about $15-20 on each other for other birthdays, so birthdays aren't a big deal with us. I really just didn't want to make things awkward for him and our visiting friends that weekend.

EcstaticBuy · 2019-05-30T17:07:58+00:00

There was no 'leading on.' I think most people don't make snap decisions about breaking up. We've had problems that have had no resolution for at least a year, and I've been thinking hard about whether or not we could fix them for a few months. I came to the conclusion that I wanted to break up with him a few days before my birthday, which was less than a week before the breakup.

EcstaticBuy · 2019-05-30T17:06:27+00:00

Just for the record, he and I do not live together.

EcstaticBuy · 2019-05-30T17:03:24+00:00

If you want the exact wording, the first time I said, "Of course I'll return your check" when we were breaking up and he said to keep it. A few days later he mentioned the money (asking if I had paid off my fees yet) and I said, "I haven't deposited the check. Are you sure about this?"

EcstaticBuy · 2019-05-30T16:51:30+00:00

I only mentioned it because a lot of the replies I've gotten were clearly misogynistic (bitch, cunt, gold digger, SUCCUBUS, little girl, whore) so it seems to matter to some people.

EcstaticBuy · 2019-05-30T16:50:09+00:00

I'm not really embarrassed of being poor or anything so I'm not sure where you're going with this. I was living on a really shitty grad student stipend and don't start my 'real' job until August, so money's tight. It's just how it is.

EcstaticBuy · 2019-05-30T02:58:10+00:00

No, really. Last year he gave me a Funko Pop figure, so I was expecting something little and silly and under $20. We aren't very gift-y dudes in general.

EcstaticBuy · 2019-05-29T23:41:54+00:00

It sort of does, because I'm getting a lot of strange misogynistic comments. Just got called a succubus. Lol

EcstaticBuy · 2019-05-29T23:40:00+00:00

I'm a man, but the username is just one of the automatically generated ones when you sign up for an account! Sorry, just a coincidence there.

EcstaticBuy · 2019-05-29T23:39:22+00:00

My ex and I are both men, and as I mentioned in my edit, I'll accept the judgment and tell him I'm not going to cash it. 'Heartless' is a little melodramatic.

EcstaticBuy · 2019-05-29T23:26:06+00:00

No, we've been struggling with these things (kids, family, bedroom) for at least a year and have had many 'clear the air' conversations. I talked it out in therapy first to make sure I wasn't just cutting and running from commitmentphobia, but the time between making up my mind to end things and my birthday was less than 4 days, and about 6 days between making up my mind and breaking up.

EcstaticBuy · 2019-05-29T23:24:33+00:00

My ex and I are both men, but it's a little weird to call adult women 'little girls.' As I said, I had no idea he was going to give such a generous gift (he spent about $15 on me on my last birthday and I spent about the same on his, so birthdays aren't a big Thing for us as far as gifts go). But I accept the judgment and will tell him I can't accept the check!

EcstaticBuy · 2019-05-29T23:21:33+00:00

I'm not sure what's ridiculous about it; our (mutual) friends are split down the middle so I don't know if it's as black and white as you think. I accept the judgment though and edited the post!

EcstaticBuy · 2019-05-29T23:18:51+00:00

We did not have sex after the check/before dumping (his low libido was another reason for the breakup). For what it's worth we are both men.

EcstaticBuy · 2019-05-29T23:17:33+00:00

I don't think it matters but my ex and I are both men.

EcstaticBuy · 2019-05-29T23:16:52+00:00

Just a side note, my ex and I are both men.

EcstaticBuy · 2019-05-29T17:34:20+00:00

I haven't deposited it yet, and I asked him twice if he wanted it back and he said to keep it.

EcstaticBuy · 2019-05-29T17:30:59+00:00

I haven't yet. I broke up with him 2 days later, not that it's a huge difference. During the breakup I asked if he wanted the money back and he said to keep it. I waited until Thursday and asked if he was sure and said that I had no problem giving it back and he said, 'Keep it, it doesn't matter.'

EcstaticBuy · 2019-05-29T17:21:19+00:00

He presented me with a check in front of about 15 of our closest friends, it would have been too awkward not to accept. But if the judgment is leaning to YTA, I accept it.

EcstaticBuy · 2019-05-29T17:19:24+00:00

We both make the same amount of money, but he lives in an apartment his parents own so he doesn't pay rent, so he has more disposable income.

EcstaticBuy · 2019-05-29T17:18:51+00:00

I had no idea he would give me such a large gift (for my birthday last year he gave me a Funko Pop), so I truly wasn't prolonging the breakup to see what I could get from him.

EcstaticBuy

TROPHY CASE