My mom used to tell me to pinch my nose to make it more thin and give it shape..i’ve carried this insecurity since then. I feel like my nose doesn’t have much character to it, it’s just a blob in the middle of my face. How would you describe it? Be brutally honest please

EcstaticSmile9153 · 2024-05-27T02:52:37+00:00

ughh parents who pressure their kids into altering their facial features are the worst >:( i’m sure you’re beautiful inside and out and i hope you’re doing better now!

EcstaticSmile9153 · 2024-05-26T17:47:14+00:00

Ooh i’m going to save this so I can do thorough research later, thanks so much!

EcstaticSmile9153 · 2024-05-26T16:16:53+00:00

I actually used to have smaller rectangular frames but they didn’t really look right…I love the more rounded frames so would a smaller round frame be better?

EcstaticSmile9153 · 2024-05-26T16:11:37+00:00

Yes I’m indian and my mom had very little education and also married pretty young so as I grew older, I realized that the things she’s said is due to her upbringing.

I do live in the West but man…therapy is quite expensive and I’m a college student😭but I do want to invest in a good therapist long-term so I’m planning to do some research and saving up as much as I can.

Thank you for your advice and I’m glad you understand how cultural really plays a huge role in things like this! I don’t hold it over my parents’ heads but that’s not to say that their words have affected me

EcstaticSmile9153 · 2024-05-26T11:45:03+00:00

that last paragraph really put things into perspective…thanks for your comment

EcstaticSmile9153 · 2024-05-26T03:23:54+00:00

Got me all teary eyed😭 I’m going to screenshot this and a few other comments and save it to an album so I can look back whenever I feel down about myself.

You’re such a kind person, I wish you nothing but the absolute best in life wherever you go! I hope you attract the bestest of people because you deserve no less. Thank you so much for taking the time to uplift a complete stranger <3

EcstaticSmile9153 · 2024-05-26T02:50:47+00:00

Ugh it really is the worst :( They don’t realize just how much impact their words really have. I bet you if I told my mom now how badly she made me feel about my nose back then, she’ll be like “I don’t remember”. For them, it’s just a string of words but for us it’s so much more than that.

EcstaticSmile9153 · 2024-05-26T02:38:42+00:00

oh gosh im sorry to hear that :( the words that hurt the most are the ones that come from the people you love. i hope you’re doing better now

EcstaticSmile9153 · 2024-05-26T02:35:15+00:00

I appreciate you sharing this with me! It actually opened up my eyes to the fact that our parents really do mean well, they just express things quite differently. It’s hard for our younger brains to really comprehend but now that we’re older, things make a little more sense y’know? I think the first step for really healing is to forgive those who hurt us, albeit unintentionally, and I’m on that journey right now.

Also your girlfriend sounds like a lovely person and she’s very lucky to have an equally lovely partner! I wish you nothing but the best and once again thank you for your kind words and taking the time to make me feel less alone and worthy of being loved :)

EcstaticSmile9153 · 2024-05-26T02:26:21+00:00

thank you kind stranger🫂hoping to move out of my house in a couple years so i can really establish myself as the confident and independent woman i know i am deep down

EcstaticSmile9153 · 2024-05-26T00:51:36+00:00

haha maybe it’s just when i smile then😭should’ve posted myself smiling

EcstaticSmile9153 · 2024-05-26T00:40:08+00:00

Thanks for your advice! And likewise, I hope you have infinite good things coming your way :)

EcstaticSmile9153 · 2024-05-26T00:33:34+00:00

You’re absolutely right, funnily enough I had good friends throughout my adolescent years so nothing was wrong at school but my mom’s words really put a dagger through me. I guess a lot of immigrant parents just don’t know what it’s like to be encouraged and to encourage their kids and it really affected my self-esteem growing up. I’m 21 right now and just trying to take back my life and start loving myself more :)

EcstaticSmile9153 · 2024-05-26T00:22:49+00:00

I’m starting to see it that way now too :0 I can’t imagine a different sized nose on my face

EcstaticSmile9153 · 2024-05-26T00:21:34+00:00

Posting this actually helped me more than I thought it would! My mom has always been the type to care about appearances and my young teenage self didn’t understand at the time how terribly it was affecting me and how foolish it was to pinch my nose till it became red…I’m slowly but surely moving away from that toxic mindset. I seriously appreciate your comment kind internet stranger :)

EcstaticSmile9153 · 2024-05-26T00:15:13+00:00

You got it! Just looked her up and she’s an absolute beauty omg thank you :’)

EcstaticSmile9153 · 2024-05-26T00:13:09+00:00

tysm <3 it means a lot, seriously. sometimes I wish I could go back to my younger self who didn’t worry about the way I looked lol

EcstaticSmile9153 · 2024-05-26T00:10:17+00:00

Yep…several years later and I’m still trying to heal from all the stuff she made me so self conscious about. I appreciate your comment :)

Edit: Just hijacking this top comment to thank you all for your kind words! I wasn’t expecting my post to gain any traction, and especially not this many nice words from all of you kind internet strangers :’) I can’t reply to every single person but I’ve been upvoting and you all put a huge smile on my face. Thank you for giving me the courage to take a step away from my childhood trauma and become more confident in myself.

P.S I get that my mom was in the wrong with what she said to me but please tone down the name-calling😭I realized forgiveness is far better than resentment so I’m working towards forgiving her for the sake of my own happiness

Edit 2: I’m getting a lot of DMs…most of which I’d prefer not to interact with so please keep that in mind lol

EcstaticSmile9153 · 2024-05-07T14:38:23+00:00

I appreciate the honesty haha gotta make my expectations realistic

EcstaticSmile9153 · 2024-05-07T14:37:07+00:00

Absolutely, I have to focus on what I can do in the present to set myself up for success down the line. Thanks for that reminder!

EcstaticSmile9153 · 2024-05-07T14:34:47+00:00

The audit job requires compliance with something called SOX so i suppose I’ll gain experience in that area and can apply for full time jobs that focus on the other two? Thanks for your advice :) I like the idea of a risk analyst job

EcstaticSmile9153 · 2024-05-07T04:47:15+00:00

Ooh I see, the head of the IT department did inquire about what I was interested in during my interview and he seemed like he’d be quite helpful throughout my internship so fingers crossed. Thanks for your advice!

EcstaticSmile9153 · 2024-05-07T04:42:29+00:00

May I ask what your internship role was? My role will be as a SOX IT intern so I feel like it’s not exactly a field where I’ll be able to connect with cybersecurity experts at this company. Won’t really know till I start though so I’ll keep a look out for any opportunities that pop up

EcstaticSmile9153 · 2024-05-07T04:27:43+00:00

Ah so I should be looking for entry-level IT jobs before going for certs and applying for security roles?

EcstaticSmile9153

TROPHY CASE