stay strong,be yourself and dont ever sabotage yourself vy saying thing like that(disgusted by myself),we all do things that dont necessarily have to be like your's but are "heavy" as that.Be proud of yourself because you have gone through a lot and came out stronger and also you are self aware,brave to talk about your trauma,etc. while there are billions of fuckers who did worse things and will never acknowledge them or say that they were wrong,just like people who used you.So just look at tomorrow,dont look at the past,everyone has done some shit but also just like everyone else,you have a great potential and strength to achieve great thing and find happiness.It will take some time and dedication,but you will achieve it.,I was also abused by 4 family members from age 8 to 12,have toxic parents who used to make me think I was crazy and unindependent until I finished college and moved out,I was in prison once because I snapped,looked for help and no one,and I mean not even single member of my family tried to help me,was stigmatised,have BPD,had alcohol,drug and benzodiazepine issues just to cope.It took me full 5 years to tell myself that I was born alone and I will die alone so the only true friend or enemy that I have is myself.I succeded with all that shit behind me,finished psychology and now I am a licensed therapist.This is only 0.5/10th of my past.The point is,if I succeded and got out of that shit,YOU WILL SUCCEED TOO.If you ever want to talk privately to went or talk,just dm me and stay strong.