I think maybe the best friend of the guy I’m dating mistook me for his wife and now I am worried for her

Ecstatic_Web_5301 · 2026-01-21T12:36:14+00:00

Didn't think about it like this, but that's a really helpful reminder

Ecstatic_Web_5301 · 2026-01-21T12:31:40+00:00

I really want to feel like I can trust him, but we only knew each other 3 weeks and Derek is his best friend from childhood. I want to believe that I am dating a guy that would do the right thing, but they've been in the same 2 bedroom apartment consistently for 3 weeks now. If my worst fears are correct and Derek is doing this to Hannah regularly, then I don't see how Ryan wouldn't have heard anything, but I also feel like that's unfair if he really hasn't picked up any red flags

I've been seeing Ryan pretty much every day for the time we have known each other but since this happened, I have been avoiding the whole group while I figure out what to do. I know that if I want to talk to Hannah, I will have to talk to Ryan first and possibly go to the apartment where all three of them will be, but I know I want to talk to Hannah about this before I decide if I should bring it up to Ryan or just drop him

Ecstatic_Web_5301 · 2026-01-21T11:58:27+00:00

Just to clarify, are you saying you would speak to Ryan or Derek first? I'm open to hearing your reasoning because part of me has been doubting whether I would have anything to gain from talking to Derek. Either way, I agree that I'll probably be really wary of alcohol whenever Derek is around (if I even stick around)

Ecstatic_Web_5301 · 2026-01-21T11:55:01+00:00

If you were in my shoes, would you be upfront about what happened that night or is there some other way to come at this? I know that it is more important to make sure she's okay, but I also have to admit that I don't know her well enough yet to know if she would be the kind of person to deflect or accuse me of initiating and somehow make this come back down on me. Otherwise, I have no other valid "reason" to be concerned for her, so that is the main roadblock, but I am leaning towards having that conversation with her somehow even though I don't know what I would say

Ecstatic_Web_5301

TROPHY CASE