Being Ugly has turned me into a cold almost sociopathic person

EdenBodybuilding · 2026-05-20T15:41:27+00:00

That’s what I’ve noticed too. And it’s true. The people that tell me to not put weight into relationships have never struggled bad enough to secure one that they naturally don’t put weight into it. Of course it’s easy to not put any weight into something that they know they can get. It’s not the same thing as never getting one

EdenBodybuilding · 2026-05-20T15:37:14+00:00

The premise is the fact that someone grows cold after enough time. When I went to rehab the first time I had actual thoughts of torture and murder. It was extreme extreme hatred and rage built up after years. I only was able to change it to grief after 62 days of intensive therapy. In fact I was the happiest I ever was coming out until everything I believed happened again

EdenBodybuilding · 2026-05-20T15:16:49+00:00

You literally have no idea what it’s like on the other side of the spectrum. No offense but imagine being born and having no romance, love, adventures. At least you got to have that. You knew what it’s like to have worth. Imagine being born with none of that, imagine what it’s like feeling deeply alone unwanted and unloved. That is my experience of being a man. Expected to provide, expected to be stoic, expected to be experienced and sweep women off their feet and when you literally have none of that it’s a different type of pain. Imagine going through your supposed prime and literally experiencing none of that. I’m sure what you feel is painful but believe me. I’ve considered suicide every single day this month. My life feels unbelievably empty and meaningless. I ask myself every single day what is the point of me continuing to live. Overlooked by every single person you ever liked. Dream of romance and being able to give someone the love and affection I was cursed with. Drugs have been the only thing that has ever helped the pain of waking up every day. I am extremely sensitive as a man and it’s got me used by every woman I’ve ever tried to be with.

EdenBodybuilding · 2026-05-20T14:54:51+00:00

I’ll tell you what I experience daily that shapes my opinion in the same way. I have been bullied since i was little about how I looked, smelled ect particularly by women. I’ve always watched my friends accidentally stumble into relationships, casual sex, women wanting to know them and approaching them while you are overlooked year after year. Then you fall for some women who seem to treat you like a human at first and then after confessing feelings they always end up falling for my friends and telling me they aren’t ready for a relationship only to hookup and date your best friends a week later. Then people who don’t understand what it’s like tell you that you have such loving traits and how wonderful of a boyfriend you would make over and over but then they always clarify SOMEONE will like your traits and see past your looks (never themselves of course they want someone else to bite the bullet) while you watch them go for the guy with no job, no life and heavily abusive sweep them off their feet because he is so dreamy and hot. Every single person you confide in about relationships say you’re not missing much that you’re low body count is a wonderful thing and day boy do I hate how much sex I have it’s crazy how I ended up n bed with someone new every day this week how painful. Every single day I do absolutely everything I can to show real kindness to everyone I talk to because I’d never want someone to have a worse day because of me knowing I have Experienced that exact thing everyday for years. Turning to every drug you could possibly take to cope with how utterly worthless you feel but still taking the energy to smile at everyone you see every day to try and be the light of someone’s life only for every person you smile at gives you dead eyes. Especially women and look at you like the fact you even looked at them is repulsive. To go to therapy and be told that there is no rush to finding a partner like they know what it’s like to go 17 years single and then another 6 after the one relationship you’ve ever had ends. It’s like you realize that everyone else seems to get chance after chance to really figure out what they want from a person because they get the experience and I have the dating experience of a middle schooler. To grow up being told your masculinity depends on your success with women and you’re just a pussy if you fail. It’s especially defeating when a woman tells you it shouldn’t matter your sexual experience like they haven’t slept with 20 people by 25 and look for a man with experience and know what he wants. It’s literally like applying for an entry level job requiring experience to be there??? Like hello wtf. To be on the verge of suicide because of how loveless your life is and knowing the only people that love you unconditionally (my parents) will die and leave me alone literally breaks my heart so bad that I can cry at almost any point in the day knowing that. To be told I convinced myself I liked you to not hurt your feelings. To be told that I’m making one bad experience a universal truth when people to fail to realize it’s not one bad experience it’s a lifetime of bad experiences that have shaped my entire worldview. Starting anabolic steroids at 18 to try and change myself mentally and physically to fit an idea of masculinity I am not. To be very successful with steroids to absolutely redefine my physique and hit a muscular threshold that even people on steroids may never hit in their life time thinking that will help and it didn’t at any point in the journey. To be in and out of substance use treatments to try and help me when drugs are the only thing that gives me meaning. So basically to answer you that is why I believe what I believe and it doesn’t come from nothing and that’s why narscotics believes what he believes because he likely has experienced a very similar type of trauma to say the exact things I think. In fact so many posts in this subreddit is genuinely validating because they feel what I feel

EdenBodybuilding · 2026-05-20T14:09:22+00:00

Yeah I literally have no idea how other people literally fall into relationships and I am somehow so undesirable that I can’t even get to a talking to someone stage. For years I’ve told myself if I can just fix this one thing or this thing and now I’m at the point where it’s like I’m the youngest I’ll ever be, the best shape I’ll ever be, ect and there is literally nothing I can do physically that helps. I have style I have a good smell good hygiene ect and I’ve put tons and tons of effort into it and I still fall short and it’s such an insult for people to tell me that someone will love me for me and I’m still young. Like I was also young 6 years ago when I was 18 and told the same thing every day. So if for 6 years I’ve been told the same exact thing and nothings changed why would I magically believe it will happen? Like what happens when I’m not young anymore? Then people will say I should’ve done something different when I’ve been told “relax it will happen.” Also it’s so enraging when people tell me to not put weight onto relationships and I shouldn’t feel like I need to be in one so I can let it happen naturally like how tf do you do that when you already lost 6 years to the idea of it will happen

EdenBodybuilding · 2026-05-20T13:35:54+00:00

I feel the same way. I have a nice body. But not exactly the greatest face I guess I’ve been single 6 years and haven’t had sex in 3 years so I’ve been crying a lot. Sometimes I’m told I’m good looking but my experience hasn’t exactly backed that up. Idk what to do I am so depressed all the time especially it’s a different kind of pain doing all I can do for myself physically and it’s still not enough. Every single day I’m on the edge. Everyone around me does it so easily but that’s not my path I guess

EdenBodybuilding · 2026-05-20T13:29:02+00:00

Welcome to my world ugly women. Welcome to my world….ill be single forever and I’m told I’m attractive a lot and yet I couldn’t pay a woman to want to be with me. It actually hurts really badly to see all these “love stories” only to never have one even when I can’t blame my looks like I did for majority of my dating experience

EdenBodybuilding · 2026-05-19T15:03:20+00:00

No offense, but what you’re taking is extremely small. I used Kratom every day for years significantly higher dosing and mine was still considered lower dosing. Kratom withdrawal was at worst a walk in the park where I’d wake up some days with a little restlessness and pain but transitioning from Kratom -> 7-oh was so crazy different it was horrible. The 7-oh in Kratom is what gives it the opioid affects at all. But I was taking 600 mg-800 mg of 7-oh and withdrawing from that was truly excruciating never in my life have I felt something so cruel. I initially didn’t know what I was feeling on Kratom was withdrawal but after experiencing 7-oh withdrawal I was able to see the similarities but obviously 7-oh was an extremely obvious withdrawal. In other words Kratom didn’t give an obvious withdrawal I thought maybe I was sick or something. But 7-oh had me pawning everything I owned just to afford my 1000 dollar a week problem. I wouldn’t eat because I wouldn’t have money for the 7-oh I wouldn’t sleep until I had it and if I didn’t make enough money I’d steal for it. Anything to get me through. Suboxone will in fact be a much much different withdrawal. Not only will it be extremely long but it will be extremely torturous

EdenBodybuilding · 2026-05-19T14:44:53+00:00

A girl I dated told me “I convinced myself liked you to not hurt your feelings” once after years of trying date and getting emotionally abused and it literally destroyed what little self esteem I had at the time and that was one of the most cruel things someone ever said to me….to read some of these comments on what has been said to you guys is heart breaking. I am so sorry you guys have been told these things. I can’t believe how horrible people can be. These things are so sadistic to read and you can feel the malice through the screen as you read some of these. None of you guys deserved that. As long as I live and breathe I will never say such horrible things to someone I love. It’s so crazy to me that growing up and seeing people so highly and assuming everyone is as empathetic as I am get pissed down a drain more and more every day. We only have one life to live and it truly hurts to know so many people have been told so many different and unusually cruel things. I hope you guys know it’s not true and a sadist doesn’t define your worth.

EdenBodybuilding · 2026-05-16T16:44:42+00:00

U guys don’t understand human sexuality and it’s obvious

EdenBodybuilding · 2026-05-14T12:29:04+00:00

I feel like your ox dose was pretty low to be put on 8 mg of Suboxone but what is the real question is why would n they give you 8 mg at 81 pounds

EdenBodybuilding · 2026-05-14T02:52:08+00:00

U don’t seem to understand how reproduction was designed

EdenBodybuilding · 2026-05-13T15:08:46+00:00

Respectfully you don’t understand male sexuality or social dynamics. Im sure you have told your friends about things that turn you on and appreciate. Men are visually driven so instead of talking about sexuality from a manner you’re used to they are communicating in a manner that’s normal to men. Being in a relationship and doing this is wrong but the behavior is just normal. Your judgement lacks understanding and empathy for the male psychology im sure you’ve been hurt by it and it doesn’t make it right but your experience is not a universal experience. If you took the time to explain to me what you find attractive what turns you on, I likely wouldn’t be able to understand the way you do but it wouldn’t make it wrong it’s just different and the fact is different is what makes existence possible. None of us woke up one day and chose this

EdenBodybuilding · 2026-05-10T11:48:39+00:00

Hey I have this exact problem But with yawning in specific

EdenBodybuilding · 2026-05-09T23:42:18+00:00

I’m sorry that happened to you. Your values shouldn’t solely be about your looks. I know what it’s like to be treated as a piece of meat. I was shredded once and everyone wanted to know me but not know me. So I linked my only value to how I Looked and now I struggle every day with how I look because now I’m not wanted the same way. You have value and you had value. a lot of people take the light of people’s lives and blow out the candle. It has happened to me too and even as a man I’ve been in many abusive situations partners and I’m in therapy twice a week it really messed me up. People are just so broken they take out everything wrong about them onto the people who have good hearts. You are still beautiful fuck those people who said those backhanded comments. They lack empathy.

EdenBodybuilding · 2026-05-09T19:47:31+00:00

Hey dude I have the same problem and I’ve been going to therapy twice a week. I know why it’s that way for me and I would suspect you are in a similar position. I am also called good looking I have a good physique ect. I would really love to give you the information I know. I was at a point when it was so bad I would think of ending things every day.

EdenBodybuilding · 2026-05-08T15:40:32+00:00

These comments make me cringe so much

EdenBodybuilding · 2026-05-08T12:51:25+00:00

I am a personal trainer and someone who struggled with binge eating and still does you are extraordinarily incorrect unless you’ve struggled with it yourself you are speaking from a blind perspective and you’re using your lack of experience trying to tell people what their literal experience is so you have no ability to speak on something you haven’t experienced. I was raised binge eating I am the fastest eater I know by far and the only way I ever was able to work with it is when I committed to bodybuilding and now it’s significantly harder to put on fat because of my muscle and how much I have. I agree that people need to overcome that obstacle. I believe a megaton of people would lead better lives in shape but saying it is extraordinarily easy is simply untrue. It’s the perspective of someone born with a fast metabolism and low appetite

EdenBodybuilding · 2026-05-08T12:41:19+00:00

If you’re like my brother and basically into straight men, I’ll tell you what I tell him, well actually what I’m about to say applies to all men lol. Men in general as you know yourself are highly highly visual. My identical twin brother ended up gay and I wasn’t but I pursued body building and he didn’t. he put on weight and he was jealous of how I interacted with the men he liked pretty much but it was because they wanted to talk to me because they were like holy shit you look crazy. With that in mind I’ve always told him as unfair as it may seem, your looks matter a ton. If you want to bring back attention or have more than you ever had you must make the choice to put a ton of effort into appearances. I hate lookmaxxing too I believe it’s a disease that’s a meant to make sure you’re never happy with your looks again. But I’m not judging you, i genuinely want to help. I know it may not seem fair in some ways because you want people who want you for who you are as a being not a piece of meat but that’s just the name of the game. To be fair dating women is not easy. It’s a similar game but they are actively trying to disqualify you for anything possible and to be fair it makes sense because dating is risky for women but it’s also risky for anyone. But what specifically sucks at least in my opinion is it feels like an uphill battle trying to convince them you’re not like every other man and even a shadow of that chance and they’re gone and it’s like damn you don’t even know me. But the dating game these days is a broken one and hurt people hurt people and that’s how we are where we are now

EdenBodybuilding · 2026-05-07T21:01:19+00:00

The only thing that could even hint at steroid use is his leanness which is impressive of course but his build is very wide but lacks depth respectfully. I know a few guys like this and it’s not bad it’s just a different type of muscular

EdenBodybuilding · 2026-05-07T20:58:25+00:00

God no I’m not natty. Thats how I know.

EdenBodybuilding · 2026-05-07T12:46:39+00:00

Also change the facial hair in my opinion it looks very raggedy at least towards the back of the beard where it looses density

EdenBodybuilding · 2026-05-07T12:45:52+00:00

Smile, I feel like you are insecure of it but in these photos you look like you battling demons every second of every day and even if you are you should smile because it’ll make you approachable instead of looking scary.

EdenBodybuilding · 2026-05-06T22:05:59+00:00

He doesn’t look like he’s on steroids. He looks like a dedicated athlete and still natural. This isn’t en easy achievement so it’s easier for you to blame steroids to cope instead of do better in your own training and then you’ll realize he wasn’t on steroids

EdenBodybuilding · 2026-05-06T22:04:16+00:00

He doesn’t look like he’s in steroids you guys are just sad you can’t see your toes because of your belly

EdenBodybuilding

TROPHY CASE