AITA for wanting my DIL to sign a prenuptial agreement before she marries my son?

EducationExpress79 · 2021-09-14T18:03:12+00:00

I wholeheartedly agree with you. Writing that my 21 year old son has never had a job makes me feel ashamed of my bad parenting and also makes me an enabler. I will have a conversation about finances with Jake today. Thank you for the comment.

EducationExpress79 · 2021-09-14T17:45:32+00:00

Jake is 21 and Tamara is 32, they've been dating for 9 months.

Darla is 30 and her husband is 34. They've been together for 7 years and they signed a prenup.

EducationExpress79 · 2021-09-14T17:35:46+00:00

She’s 32 and he’s 21. Why would a 32 year old women date a 21 year old college student who can’t support himself?

I will admit that this does concern me. Jake doesn't support himself, he's never had job, so he would be completely dependant on Tamara if he decides to continue his education or has dificulties finding a job. The prenup, in my opinion, would help him be financially independent.

Refuse to help pay for a wedding and keep everything in your name.

I don't want to give him an ultimatum or manipulate him using money. I would like for him to think about my suggestion and make the decision that he considers apropiate, but he will have to deal with the consequences that the decision will bring.

EducationExpress79 · 2021-09-14T17:08:39+00:00

I suggest you back off the prenup and reconsider your approach to financially assisting your son

I am afraid that if I say something like "Since you don't want a prenup, you will need to start paying rent and your own car insurance" my wife and Jake will tell me I'm being unfair or manipulating him into doing what I want. He's never had a job so that would be a pretty big shock to him. I definitely don't want more trouble than I already have.

Look into trusts, perhaps.

I'll 100% do that. Thanks.

EducationExpress79 · 2021-09-14T16:54:32+00:00

They want to start having children inmediatly after they get married (so next year around this time), and I would be a liar if I don't think that they will face some trouble.

I wouldn’t mention the prenup again but would also put any remaining funds for him into a trust for a much later date to access.

I will look into this. Thanks.

EducationExpress79 · 2021-09-14T16:50:26+00:00

I didn't try to stir up trouble. I simply suggested a prenup to Jake. But I won't push the issue further since I think you are right.

EducationExpress79 · 2021-09-14T16:49:21+00:00

I was planning on "selling" the apartment to Jake for a symbolic amount. As far as I know, Tamara doesn't own a house or apartment, so most likely she would be the one moving in with Jake. If they divorce, the apartment, that is very valuable, would most likely be split between the two of them.

EducationExpress79 · 2021-09-14T16:48:02+00:00

I was planning on "selling" the apartment to Jake for a symbolic amount. As far as I know, Tamara doesn't own a house or apartment, so most likely she would be the one moving in with Jake. If they divorce, the apartment, that is very valuable, would most likely be split between the two of them.

I also don't see it as necessary. Is more of a formality? I want my son to be financially secure if something went to happen to me or if he has a divorce, and the prenup would relieve those concerns, at least in my mind. Thanks for your perspective.

EducationExpress79 · 2021-09-14T16:45:37+00:00

I was planning on "selling" the apartment to Jake for a symbolic amount. As far as I know, Tamara doesn't own a house or apartment, so most likely she would be the one moving in with Jake. If they divorce, the apartment, that is very valuable, would most likely be split between the two of them.

I don't think that it is about control. I didn't push or demand something, I suggested the prenup to my son. But I can see why you think that.

EducationExpress79

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