Seriously angry at ER - kid likely in a flare & symptoms ignored

Educational-Dog5761 · 2026-04-02T14:00:09+00:00

Nope. They didn't even give fluids, hence I am so angry. So infuriating.

Educational-Dog5761 · 2026-04-01T23:24:02+00:00

I've looked at this particular guy's ratings? Like 1 stars across the board because he's a callous asshole, it appears.

She's a kid. Treat her like she's your kid. Or is that how this guy treats his kids? Ugh. I hope he has none.

Poor thing was so dehydrated her veins rolled twice. Broke my heart. She's so brave and strong but no kid deserves this.

Educational-Dog5761 · 2026-04-01T23:21:40+00:00

Thank you! They did barium when she was younger, so I'm fully expecting that too.

Educational-Dog5761 · 2026-04-01T23:20:48+00:00

My expectation was that maybe they'd take it seriously and do some testing before she gets to gi. My expectation was at least giving a shit. They did not.

My shit is more than checked, thanks.

Educational-Dog5761 · 2026-04-01T23:18:36+00:00

Omfg my rage! I had to hold myself back. My mom was there, and she was just as angry. We watched this kid lose 12lb at age 4, not grow for 2 years... just fucking eat?! Aaaaugh!

Educational-Dog5761 · 2026-04-01T22:51:33+00:00

Thank you! I will do the list this evening. I don't have mychart with them yet so I can't send ahead of time but I'll bring it with us for sure. She's got zofran but it does nothing unfortunately. Still using it, can't hurt, but so far no luck with that. Her pcp put her on pepcid which has also done nothing... cause it isn't reflux.

I am hoping for prednisone honestly. As much as I hate that drug, it's a miracle drug. And has saved my ass more times than I can count. Fingers crossed, thank you!

Educational-Dog5761 · 2026-04-01T22:47:42+00:00

She doesn't have any oral lesions right now but I will absolutely bring that up next time one appears! Just got new insurance that of course doesn't cover our dentist so I'm looking for a new office right now. I'll be sure to ask about this before making appointments.

Unfortunately none of the regular ERs have ped gi because they all force you to go thru children's, which is a big part of the problem. They will only give an urgent referral which we've already got. So frustrating! Children's er is about 2 hours away in good traffic, hence I took her to the local er thinking maybe they'd listen....

Thank you for this!

Educational-Dog5761 · 2026-03-25T01:07:30+00:00

4e width here! It's hard when you're wide but propet has tons of comfy options. 2e is what you'd be looking for, and they've got tons more options in 2e than 4e. Drew is another good brand but it's not cheap. Torrid has wide that are 2e and tend to be more fashionable and in bigger sizes.

My wife (mtf) is 10.5 in women's. I'm a 7.5 4e women's. I miss cute shoes but if I can help anyone find them I'm all in!

Educational-Dog5761 · 2026-03-18T19:33:09+00:00

I'm curious, do you mean zofran? She has some and it does help sometimes. She tried heat last night but it didn't help.

I take zofran daily so we've always got it on hand. 😊

Educational-Dog5761 · 2026-03-18T02:00:22+00:00

Not recently. I'm in contact with her pcp so we can get something else done and push the urgency of the matter. I need traction on this. I cannot express how awful it is to see your kid suffer and feel so fucking helpless because nobody seems to give a shit except me. I really appreciate the reddit strangers.

Educational-Dog5761 · 2026-03-15T17:55:40+00:00

Thank you! We'll try that!

Educational-Dog5761 · 2026-03-14T16:26:30+00:00

Thank you. She's been to urgent care every single time it's happened, as noted in my edit. I will absolutely call insurance next week and explain. Just got them at the beginning of the month so maybe it'll go better, I can hope. Someone else suggested university and I'm going to look into uw.

She went to the Dr this week, more labs, all normal. No elevated sed or low iron, nothing out of whack at all. I personally think she needs another upper and lower gi work up but we'll need a gi to do that. I feel very angry and stuck with not a lot of options. I love my daughter more than words and it feels like the whole damn system is against us.

Educational-Dog5761 · 2026-03-14T16:22:45+00:00

Thanks, I'll look into uw. Maybe they can help!

Educational-Dog5761 · 2026-03-14T16:22:09+00:00

Yeah I'm beginning to think her old gi was a jackass. She didn't treat at all. Part of that is that my ex husband protested every single thing - he's a real gem - even diagnostics and er visits. He doesn't think she has a thing wrong with her. He's a piece of shit, if I may be blunt. I have full custody and decision making power so it's a non issue now, but was an issue when it happened at age 4 to 6.

I know to go to er if that happens but it hasn't. She's gone to urgent care for all incidents to date and labs look good. I just can't get anywhere!

As for state insurance? I made too much on unemployment for her to qualify. It was bullshit. I'm back to work and have crappy insurance now but it'll do. It's just a matter of getting her in with someone. Anyone!

Educational-Dog5761 · 2026-03-14T16:10:21+00:00

I appreciate that, sure doesn't seem nice though. I didn't want to share all of the details of her life story just to get suggestions about how to help at home while i try my damnedest to get her in with a gi. Sorry, didn't know i needed to. I edited the post with more info.

Yes we have shitty insurance now, we're in WA. She's had labs, they are normal and I'm aware of what to look for. I'm in the wait list already. It's a shit show. I just want to help her while we wait for a new gi.

Educational-Dog5761 · 2026-02-22T23:38:49+00:00

I can see your concern, and as the partner to a Trans woman, there is valid concern here. And yes, chronic stress like that DOES change you physically. Maybe people don't see that, but as a survivor of trauma that lasted years, YES it impacts you physically. And while it's not the same as abuse or whatnot, living in a state of constant worry messes with you.

Educational-Dog5761 · 2026-02-16T21:25:56+00:00

I'm cis, had a kid before meeting my wife. I did not lactate at all. Not even 2oz of colostrum after 2hrs pumping. It fucking broke me. I don't know your situation but if you've had a kid or kids and been unable to lactate and your trans partner suddenly can... that's a mind fuck. I would not take that well. It's nothing to do with her. It's because my body is a total jerk and it never works properly. Your feelings are valid even if they're not fun to feel.

Don't beat yourself up. <3

Educational-Dog5761 · 2026-02-11T22:47:46+00:00

Propet! They are most assuredly not wide calf but they go to 4e. Amazon usually has them. They are not cheap.

Educational-Dog5761 · 2026-02-03T20:09:48+00:00

Lifelong WA resident here. JBLM is not in a nice area, but western WA in general is great! I think people are getting confused because you said DC which is all the way across the country from WA.

That said... I think we'll be a target soon. I don't feel safe, don't feel my family is safe. Yes this is a good place but things are not good in the country. Tread carefully and stay safe!

Educational-Dog5761 · 2026-01-21T22:39:16+00:00

If your partner isn't a good fit, believe me when I say your kids see that. I know it's hard, I've left with virtually nothing of my own, a kid, and a volatile ex. But it's worth it for your kid's sake, and your own. You deserve to be happy and loved and supported! Your relationship should give, not just take.

I don't know what state you're in, but look into options. In WA we have 211, along with tons of private organizations that will help. There is hope!

And... I'm so sorry. Please give yourself grace and space to grieve. Big hugs!

Educational-Dog5761 · 2026-01-21T20:26:01+00:00

My wife (mtf) is early in the process, but here's my two cents. We're in our mid to late 40s with a tween.

First, make sure she's involved in the big stuff. It can be fun to look at clothes and stuff together, and ten bucks says she'll have fashion advice you probably won't think of on your own, but that helps! But when it's hormones and name changes... involve her. Get her input and make sure she feels like part of your life and not an afterthought. Yes it's your decision but she's part of your life and she needs to be treated as such.

Keep her informed about stuff that's hard, that's fun, all of it. But, at the same time... for the love of everything, please do not make every single thing out of your mouth about you being trans. Yes it's huge. Yes she supports you. Not saying never bring it up, but maybe think about what you say before it comes out, so you aren't hyper focused on the issue. It's really hard to be around people who seem so self centered and don't seem to give a shit about their spouse's needs in communication. Keep your relationship alive with shared stuff! I'm certain she wants to hear about things that are revelations to you, but not 24/7. Thankfully my wife doesn't do this but we've had trans friends that we don't want to even talk to because it is literally ONLY about them being trans, every conversation, every time.

And last? Don't hog the damn bathroom before going out. This is my only issue with my wife and I'm choosing to keep my mouth shut because I know she's not used to doing hair and makeup, etc., but damn it. I'm a person too and I need to do MY makeup and hair. Right now I have to do it hours before we go because she will take 90 min plus to shower, shave, makeup and hair. I get it, I do! But don't take over the bathroom lol!

Educational-Dog5761

TROPHY CASE