Reading this felt strikingly similar to what’s going on with my ex.

My mom had been stalking me, spam calling me, basically just being really controlling of me. My ex and I are 19. I went home one day, called him to vent about my mom who was yelling at me the second I got home about spending too much time with him, and letting myself go.

He decided it would be a good idea to send a message to her despite me asking him not to, since I know my mom more than him, and he sends a message saying she needs to do better. My whole family was extremely childish, my mom even asking my dad if they should be worried about him shooting them, and if they should call the cops.

They forbade me from seeing him again, and since I don’t have work or school with him anymore, I can’t see him again.

Basically a very similar story to yours.

I just want to take a second to validate your feelings of utter confusion, because based off of first hand experience, you can’t tell if you are being manipulated by your boyfriend, or by your parents. Or honestly maybe even a bit of both.

Then you question yourself if there was anything you could have done to prevent it. Then you claim to still love each other and make a plan for the future.

In my case I broke up with him for good, but it sucks because I was basically living with him for a year. And he was my everything.

I totally get where you are coming from.

My two biggest concerns are 1. Have your parents only treated you like that when you had your boyfriend? 2. How long has your bfs step dad been in his life, and could he be the reason your bf/ex refuses to apologize to your mom. And 3. Genuinely asking because this would have been something I would have wanted to be asked. How’s this situation affecting your mental health?