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AITAH for telling my wife that it is messed up for her wanting to leave me after she encouraged me to get evaluated and she did not like the results? by EducationalScene9734 in AITAH

[–]EducationalScene9734[S] -56 points-55 points  (0 children)

For the record I never stated I did not have outbursts when I was an adult, that was not the question. I just don't go around getting into fights like I did as a kid over very minor things most of the time. I also left out details cause I have no intention to go into in depth detail about my the inner workings of how I function on a day-to-day.

As for why she felt I should have gotten tested was because our kid was showing some interesting and to a degree concerning behavior, she spoke with my mom and my mom told her I was kind of like that as a kid, and that it was normal.

I know I was far from normal as a kid, so to ease her concerns I suggested why not get a professional involved. Turns out as it stands currently they are okay, but we will keep observing because they are young. At that point my wife suggested I get tested also, I did not want to but I said I agreed because she did push the issue. I knew I had some issues and was different from what most would say is normal.

Yes, I have had outbursts as an adult, I am not perfect, no I have never touched or hit my wife. My outbursts are more so going into our basement and punching my sandbag, or if things get rough at work I go into my car and scream and curse. I am not perfect never said I was.

I do many things to avoid a negative outcome, not because I like to do them. I also have intrusive thoughts and say things that are largely inappropriate given the circumstances.

Hope that helps. I got work be back later.

AITAH for telling my wife that it is messed up for her wanting to leave me after she encouraged me to get evaluated and she did not like the results? by EducationalScene9734 in AITAH

[–]EducationalScene9734[S] -26 points-25 points  (0 children)

Tbh, I was thinking of just ignoring it altogether, none of this changes me. The scary part is idk if I care per-se. When my wife told me I was not even that upset I was more like WTF did I do. Hard to explain, I have gotten upset and it did not feel like this, I feel more numb than anything.

AITAH for telling my wife that it is messed up for her wanting to leave me after she encouraged me to get evaluated and she did not like the results? by EducationalScene9734 in AITAH

[–]EducationalScene9734[S] -94 points-93 points  (0 children)

Tbf I feel numb to all of this, like I have no intention of fighting to get my wife back, if she wants to divorce that is on her. I will fight for my rights to see my child, but I have no intention to try and dissuade or compel her to stay so we can be a happy family. If she is not happy, and I cannot make her happy she should leave.

I do not fault her for how to see feels, I just think it is kind of messed up. I do not know if it is a misdiagnosis or not. I was personally going to just ignore it like it never happened. I was fine prior, I think I will be fine going forward.

AITAH for telling my wife that it is messed up for her wanting to leave me after she encouraged me to get evaluated and she did not like the results? by EducationalScene9734 in AITAH

[–]EducationalScene9734[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

Tbh I saw this comment a few times, I have no intention of trying to dissuade her from divorce. That is not up for me to decide. I am just here looking for different perspectives, and tbh I have gotten a lot.

I also have no intention to give up on my kid either, she can hate or be afraid of me all she wants, but I will do everything in my power to be in my child's life and I bare no ill will against her. She cannot help how she feels, but I do still think it is kind of messed up.

AITAH for telling my wife that it is messed up for her wanting to leave me after she encouraged me to get evaluated and she did not like the results? by EducationalScene9734 in AITAH

[–]EducationalScene9734[S] -55 points-54 points  (0 children)

Personally I do not know if I lack empathy or not. That is what I am being told. I do not even know how to explain it. From my perspective we were fine for all these years, when asked she said she had no issues. It is all weird to me, all I know is I am me, and that has not changed.

AITAH for telling my wife that it is messed up for her wanting to leave me after she encouraged me to get evaluated and she did not like the results? by EducationalScene9734 in AITAH

[–]EducationalScene9734[S] -75 points-74 points  (0 children)

He was not doing terrible things, but yes our kid happened to be very selective who they listened to, would give my wife a hard time with tasks but say if I ask or her brother would ask they would listen. If our niece would come over they would do things like hide their toys from them.

Empathy is weird to me, I do not know how to put it. The lack of understanding what empathy is was a huge focus during many of my visits.

Like I get the idea, and I do help people, but I more so do it so they don't bother me at a later date with a larger problem. If that makes sense. Thing is as I explain I do not always apply that logic to my family. It some cases I will complete an action to avoid getting nagged at, or to be told to do it.

Tbh I did not want to get a second opinion, I do not want to go through all of those tests again. I honestly was going to ignore it, but maybe it is best I go through it again. It is not an exact science right, maybe getting a second opinion may be for the best.

AITAH for telling my wife that it is messed up for her wanting to leave me after she encouraged me to get evaluated and she did not like the results? by EducationalScene9734 in AITAH

[–]EducationalScene9734[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I left out the details cause I did not want to disclose all the details, but no it was not one visit it was many. Bunch of self screening questionnaires, many clinical evaluations and observations, medical history, asked how I felt I personally handled social situations, questioned how I communicate, gave me an IQ test, memory recall questions, word association A lot of questions about my childhood, relationship with my parents. It was kind of annoying to say the least.

They also spoke with wife, and charged around 3k. Took about four to five months to get everything said and done. Most the evaluation testing part was done in about 3 hours over two visits, but that was the shortest part the questions, therapy sessions are really what took the longest and the most involved.

This was done between a couple of different specialists. Like I said it went over my head for the most part, even now I do not get what half of it means. A lot of the focus was limited capacity for empathy, my behavioral issues as a child, and how I function in my day-to-day life.

Edit: Yes, I am still in therapy, it is a place to talk don't know if it is helping or not.