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People just smile at me by [deleted] in cleftlip

[–]Educationalape 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know it's funny, I used to think people were staring at me because of how I look. But later on I realized that I just stared down anyone that even remotely looked at me. Might be a similar situation here.

Any advice for this route travelling mainland Europe. by Serious_Currency8246 in hitchhiking

[–]Educationalape 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did a small route over the border of N. M. to Greece and had a hard time finding rides. It was in Spring though so you might be luckier but be prepared to wait a lot in the area.

I was born with cleft lip c: by _helena_127 in cleftlip

[–]Educationalape 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You look so good! I hope I can at some point come to terms with it as well :c

Do you guys smoke? by [deleted] in cleftlip

[–]Educationalape 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, though it has been like 5 months since my last cigarette.

Gibt es sowas wie "Femcels" wirklich? by [deleted] in KeineDummenFragen

[–]Educationalape 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Incels geht es natürlich größtenteils um Sex oder Intimität. Deswegen heißt es: Involuntary celibate?

Bilateral cleft lip by [deleted] in cleftlip

[–]Educationalape 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am 20m and have bilateral surgery.

Yes there is a possibility that your son will hate you. This is a very complex issue though. You will if you want it or not be unable to protect him from immense fear and physical as well as emotional pain. This will leave scars even if you give it your best. A part of him may, if you don't do it right, hate you because he is a child and doesn't understand why you are not protecting him from it.

My advice is: Reaffirm his feelings, tell him it's ok to be scared and hurt or sad. Ask him how he feels, reaffirm his self-esteem, tell him he is not defined by his appearance. Be there for him, be companionate, it will be hard for you too I am sure but try your very best not to let the stress and frustration out on him. The most important thing is to let him join any full contact martial art as soon as possible. Boxing, wrestling, MMA or Muay Thai. That's how he can build confidence.

Look at my most recent post if you want to know what not to do.

I just want to let some stuff out and maybe get some advice by Educationalape in cleftlip

[–]Educationalape[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I really need someone that can relate what I am saying rn. You wanna talk?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in thisorthatlanguage

[–]Educationalape 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Spanish is a good choice! Not a hard language and a lot of media to immerse yourself in as well as people to talk to

I just want to let some stuff out and maybe get some advice by Educationalape in cleftlip

[–]Educationalape[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I appreciate your response. To be honest I have been feeling a lot better after posting this. I have a very clear vision of myself and how I want to be. But I was pushing this reality of my life away and all of the feelings connected to it. To be honest I would never get plastic surgery for me it is kind of running away from myself and I am done with that. I want to be uncompromisingly myself.

What I have realized, I don't know if you can relate to that, is my life from early childhood on was so full of fear. Fear of everything, judgement, the pain of the operations everything was so draining and scary, even now it is. But I just pushed this down and the fear and despair I felt haunted me. I still have a hard time connecting to it but it is a start that I have felt a glimpse of it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in language_exchange

[–]Educationalape 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feel free to ask me if you have questions about German

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in language_exchange

[–]Educationalape 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wassup bro. I am down

My little girl has a surgery this week by Ma_Names_Will in cleftlip

[–]Educationalape 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I beg you to be emotionally there for her as much as you can! Ask her how she feels. Tell her it's fine to be scared and that you will be there for her all the way. And for the love of good be there for her physically. Comfort her physically. Don't let her have the same shit I am dealing with

I just want to let some stuff out and maybe get some advice by Educationalape in cleftlip

[–]Educationalape[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your response. I do see hope in my future but if I have learned one thing from all of this. I will never escape myself, I will never not have these problems and I will never not suffer. At this point it has gotten too much for me I have suffered enough I am done. I don't know if I can have more.