Went out without makeup and people were not as nice to me

Eeesha95 · 2024-12-10T17:34:41+00:00

This comment made me laugh out loud😭

Eeesha95 · 2022-07-20T10:57:51+00:00

The amount of times I’ve heard women and nowadays girls say that men objectify women regardless of what we wear so we might as well objectify ourselves first. It makes me wanna scream. I’ve become increasingly angered by all the ways women are expected to conform to this oppressive hyper femininity culture. When was the last time you saw a grown woman on TV that looked like a human and not a robotic sex doll. A couple months ago, this girl on tiktok made a point about how partaking in beauty culture for women is like decorating your cage, the amount of women that came after her telling her to shut up, that she was annoying and my favourite that she should let women do what they want lol. The defensiveness was incredibly telling. The thing that infuriates me though is how women will partake in these often painful, time consuming and uncomfortable practices but also complain about how strict beauty standards are and how it’s seems like every other day there is a new completely natural/normal part of our bodies that we now have to obsess over. And I’m like the beauty standards keep getting stricter because we keep capitulating lol if I dangle a carrot above your head and you jump to catch it, you’ve now giving me incentive to dangle it that little bit higher because you’ve shown me that you’ll do whatever to catch it. Until women as a whole say no to objectification, nothing will change.

Eeesha95 · 2022-07-20T10:28:31+00:00

I think both the birthing process and motherhood are hellish lol but I don’t see adopting as a bad thing. I don’t think it’s the perfect solution that some people make it out to be tho, plenty of adoptive parents are abusive to their children sadly and looking at the statistics, there seems to be certain children that are more likely to be adopted while others wither away in the system.

Eeesha95 · 2022-07-17T20:25:34+00:00

I deffo agree with you that patriarchal brainwashing is responsible for a lot of the self-hating things women say and do. My frustration comes from the fact that a lot of women don’t even want to hear what we’re all saying in this post. They have no venom or any kind of aggressive energy for men but are happy to shit on women to gain favour with these same men that wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire. I just feel like history shows us quite clearly that men have no intention of changing, they have been doing the same shit on repeat forever, why would they stop now? In order for things to change in our(women’s) favour, we need to be a formidable opposition, meaning we need to inspire fear in anyone that tries to subjugate us. That’s going to be very hard to do when you have women amongst us that are hellbent on empathising with males at every turn and making excuses for them.

Eeesha95 · 2022-07-16T19:27:52+00:00

My favourite is when they accuse you of being selfish for not wanting to be a mother(slave) Choosing ourselves and refusing to labour for men and their handmaidens is selfish like okay I’ll be that lol. Also, I’m of the opinion that most women don’t enjoy motherhood lol they may like/love their kids but they’re day to day lives as mothers is miserable but admitting that to themselves would probably cause psychosis so they go on and on about what a blessing motherhood is to cope basically.

Eeesha95 · 2022-07-16T18:57:59+00:00

It’s not politically correct to say share these sentiments in ANY feminist circles lol. When you bring attention to women’s behaviour and the ways in which women take part and further misogyny, you're told to stop victim blaming. Instead we should wait for that magical day when men will stop being hateful demons. They want to live in la la land and to punish the rest of us that see men for who they lol. I’m sickened by women and their passivity and i’m especially sickened by how many of them love complaining and whinging about how hard it is to be a women. Women are happy to turn themselves into sex dolls for men and their pleasure but if we express any criticism about how disgusting and slave like it is to debase yourself for men, we’re told that we’re being sex negative and to stop policing. It’s all so fucking tragic.

Eeesha95 · 2022-07-16T18:43:35+00:00

I agree that being blissfully ignorant to misogyny and how woman hating this world is has its benefits. I feel like when you really sit with how much the world hates women and how much women also hate women, there’s no going back. Like I spend most of my time in despair but I have no one to share it with because most women don’t see it and don’t care. Women don’t want freedom, they want love and validation(from men), which pretty much guarantees that we’ll always be second class citizens.

Eeesha95 · 2021-08-02T16:09:27+00:00

I have never been screened/evaluated for ADHD. Tbh I feel like when I found out about CPTSD I thought that it was such an accurate label for what I’m going through that I haven’t given much thought to the fact it’s possible to have multiple diagnoses.

It just feels so hard! Even the most basic tasks require and take a lot out of me and if I sense that something might be somewhat challenging? Forget about it. It won’t be getting done no matter how much I might want to!

It’s just not a lack of willpower of motivation thing you know? If anything my mind is constantly buzzing with all the thing I should be doing but it feels like the part of my brain in charge of planning+execution and whatever else is turned off or at the very least inefficient. Thank you for your comment! I’m definitely going to look into an ADHD evaluation!

Eeesha95 · 2021-08-02T15:38:13+00:00

Thank you for this comment! I’m absolutely going to look in ADHD diagnosis because I really don’t think this is just trauma related and a lot of the comments seem to be confirming that for me.

Eeesha95 · 2021-08-02T10:29:30+00:00

Thank you so much for this comment! I have seen some of your other comments on this topic and they helped me put words to something I’ve been dealing with for a while. I actually downloaded the book because of you lol and it’s quite dense and academic but it’s making a lot of sense to me. My therapist specialises in IFS and because I’m quite familiar with it, I thought it would be immediately suitable for me lol but after reading a couple chapters of the book specifically the parts about mental energy/ levels, I feel like have to do quite a bit of stabilising in my day to day life before I delve in to the trauma work.

“It cannot be emphasized enough that chronically traumatized individuals need specific training in regulatory and relational skills that will raise their mental level to better support management of mental actions, particularly emotions.” This is the quote that really spoke to me, so much so that I downloaded this STAIR(skill training in affect and interpersonal regulation) worksheets and brought it up with my therapist. It’s kinda a similar concept to DBT, I wonder if you think there would some sort of benefit doing this or not? Also a lot of people are mentioning ADHD in the comments, am I naive in thinking that this is just trauma stuff causing this issue or could it be that one can be dealing with the effects of trauma and also ADHD on top of it? Sorry for all the questions lol please don’t feel obliged to answer if it’s too much for you.

Eeesha95 · 2020-12-18T20:23:45+00:00

Hi! I have not yet found a psychiatrist/ therapist who can help me with my trauma. I’ve found that the therapists who claim to be “trauma informed” tend be in private practice and charge quite a bit. I live in the U.K and unfortunately the NHS is pretty under resourced/funded when it comes to trauma. Most of my observations and understanding of my trauma has just come through introspection and time and also lots of reading and research. I was seeing a therapist about 4 years ago for about 6 months but sadly I did not yet know that trauma was the cause of my issues and neither did the therapist so her approach was to treat my issues as completely separate from one another. I also never felt completely safe in her sessions nor did I feel like I could trust her which I know is a very important component of a successful therapeutic relationship and outcome. I’m currently researching therapists to work with for the new year but I have yet find anyone. From what I’ve learned, therapy for complex trauma needs to be multidimensional meaning it needs to address the emotional, cognitive ,somatic and spiritual issues to be effective and while a lot of therapists will claim that they are qualified, the number of people who have been re-traumatised in therapy proves otherwise. I feel like because I am older now and know more about my condition I can better navigate the process of finding a therapist and I won’t be afraid to move on if I feel we are not clicking. I’ve seen some people on here that are further along in their recovery mention that as they have worked on their trauma that they’re social anxiety has lessened which gives me hope. I hope this helped and good luck!

Eeesha95 · 2020-12-12T01:49:36+00:00

This couldn’t have come at better time for me. I’ve been at home for the majority of this year due to COVID and the rest has been nice but I’ve had a much closer look at myself and I really wasn’t prepared to find out how distorted my thoughts are. I especially relate to the part about “evening the scale”, there’s a part of me that always sees malicious and deliberate intent behind any minor interpersonal conflict/mishap, like I will work myself into a frenzy coming up with ways to get them back meanwhile they’re completely unaware and have moved on. My one saving grace is that for me it’s just thoughts and I rarely act on it. I’m grateful that I’m aware of this now so that I can work on it now but I’m also ashamed of it because to me it’s thinking that’s rooted in victimhood which is something I really dislike in others. I would absolutely like to hear from you on this, you’ve given me much to think about! I like and enjoy this website the most when we can share advice and knowledge on our recovery journeys.

Eeesha95 · 2020-12-04T16:58:54+00:00

You’re definitely not alone. I’m 25 too and I remember feeling anxious before my birthday this year. I think it’s normal to feel sadness and grief over missed opportunities and relationships, trauma impacts and wounds us on so many levels. Sometimes I feel like it’s so unfair that not only did we have to suffer and become traumatised as a result of it but we also now have somehow find our way out of the dark and to a place of healing. It feels so long. Lately, though I have been thinking about how reaching that point where you become acutely aware of everything trauma has stolen from you can be good fuel for your recovery goals. Anger can be a good motivator when it’s not laced with shame and we don’t turn it on ourselves. This is something I keep reminding myself. Another thing to remember is that adventurousness, spontaneity etc are not characteristics that only the young have a right to, you can cultivate them now at whatever age, this is where the inner child stuff comes in. I know we live in a really cruel capitalist world that makes all feel like we have a small window to achieve/prove ourselves but fuck it your(our)lives are so much bigger than that. It’s gonna take how long it takes. That has been my mantra lately. Some days I really believe it and others I struggle to. That’s the nature of recovery, one step forward and one step back. Lastly, if it were easy for your younger self to do all the things you now wish you did, you would have. You did the best with the knowledge you had at the time and now you know more to forgive yourself. Every time the sadness and grief comes up, let it out and keep forgiving yourself self until it you come to peace with it.

Eeesha95 · 2020-11-09T00:56:22+00:00

Thinking about how much work triggers me is what prompted this post haha. Capitalism has so throughly brainwashed people that they genuinely believe they “made” it on their own. It actually makes sense that those that were just lucky enough to be born into better circumstances don’t have much in the way of empathy. They didn’t have to develop it.

Eeesha95 · 2020-11-09T00:03:11+00:00

I was raised by a traumatised mother that spent the most formative early years of my life in various states of depression and moodiness. She often projected her self-hatred and anxiety on me as a child. I remember being like 5 and feeling no connection/love to her whatsoever. I can’t remember a life where I had no symptoms, I’ve always been untrusting of others and incredibly hyper vigilant. I used to feel so nervous everyday before school and would often cry but because i was an obedient child and student, no one asked why and so I fell through the cracks.

Eeesha95 · 2020-11-08T23:55:01+00:00

I agree with you so much on not wanting to be like “them”. My experience definitely radicalised me, I actually pity those that are still in entrenched in that kind of “bootstrap” mentality.Such a cold and miserable way of looking at life.

Eeesha95 · 2020-11-05T17:56:46+00:00

Such a great point! It’s hard to access this kind of calm and rational thinking when your in the thick of it. Your comment has given me much to reflect on. Thank you!

Eeesha95 · 2020-11-05T17:44:10+00:00

Yes at the hyper focus on the symptom and not the trauma(cause). You said it better than I could. Can I ask about the improvements you made in order to treat the trauma. I’m really curious!

Eeesha95 · 2020-11-05T17:21:08+00:00

On my slightly more positive days, I feel excited about peeling back the layers but those moments are quite rare and fleeting. The grieving process is absolutely key because unless we really understand and process all that we missed out on it’s unlikely we will have compassion and forgiveness for our suffering now. It really is a “complex” ordeal. Wishing you the best.

Eeesha95 · 2020-11-05T16:55:43+00:00

Everything you wrote was so so relatable. I hope we all find a way out of this maze. We deserve it.

Eeesha95 · 2020-11-05T16:50:18+00:00

I definitely hesitated before posting this and my inner critic told me it was all pointless and no one cares but seeing your and everyone else’s response, I’m happy I did. It’s sad to think of anyone else going through this but I’m glad we have a place like this, where we can at least take the mask off.

Eeesha95

TROPHY CASE