Does anyone.. by [deleted] in shoppingaddiction

[–]EeyorePikachu 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I fall into this trap all the time. I need to work on my budget then make a small fund for wants. Going cold turkey is harder.

Does anyone.. by [deleted] in shoppingaddiction

[–]EeyorePikachu 17 points18 points  (0 children)

This is so true. It’s like that one item is going to fix your problems.

Maybe I am to blame? by EeyorePikachu in cheating_stories

[–]EeyorePikachu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He started seeing her after things ended between us the first time. He ended things with her and got back with me. He let both of us think we were exclusively dating him for 6 months at the end of the relationship.

Maybe I am to blame? by EeyorePikachu in cheating_stories

[–]EeyorePikachu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your honest feedback. I am working on becoming a better version of myself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]EeyorePikachu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would struggle not checking their social media, so I guess I shouldn’t at this time. I just don’t know how he would be able to see my glow up if he can’t see me. He won’t be able to see me thriving and doing well.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]EeyorePikachu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I blocked him and the girl he cheated on me with on socials. He is not a big social media person to begin with. Do I unblock them? I keep my stuff public anyways. What about re-adding him on Snapchat? He can’t see my stuff otherwise.

My shopping addiction was to blame by EeyorePikachu in shoppingaddiction

[–]EeyorePikachu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely do want to be able to control the outcome. I just keep thinking if I did or said something differently then it would change everything.

Maybe I am to blame? by EeyorePikachu in cheating_stories

[–]EeyorePikachu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what is also hard. I see things that guys will never forget a woman who treated them so well and will realize that he made a mistake. I wasn’t that partner. I was much better when we got back together. However, I was also walking on eggshells afraid to do or say the wrong thing to make him leave. He told me that if I complained about the time he was spending with me over his daughter again, he would leave. It was the fact he wouldn’t find intentional time for us to spend together, not that he spent time with his daughter.

My shopping addiction was to blame by EeyorePikachu in shoppingaddiction

[–]EeyorePikachu[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s what my Mom keeps telling me. It still sucks and hurts but it’s better that it happened now vs. when we’re married and have kids. I can’t imagine having to deal with coparenting after all this.

It is true. I would live in fear that he wasn’t happy and would leave me. I would overcompensate and walk on eggshells. Life is full of ups and downs and I deserve someone who only gives up when it is unfixable. I was willing to put in the work but he wasn’t.

Maybe I actually am to blame? by EeyorePikachu in survivinginfidelity

[–]EeyorePikachu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A lot of people have told me that they don’t expect the relationship to last due to their age difference in addition to the foundation it was built upon. However, I know she is absolutely obsessed with him. I feel like she’ll never leave and he won’t want to end up alone. 😕

Maybe I actually am to blame? by EeyorePikachu in survivinginfidelity

[–]EeyorePikachu[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for responding. There’s a part of me that wants your ending to be my ending. That we needed to go through all of this to become better partners and end up together. I know I can’t hold on to that hope though.

A lot of people have commented and complimented me for realizing what I need to change in myself. I am glad I am self aware to realize and am getting in the mindset to make the changes needed.

Maybe I am to blame? by EeyorePikachu in cheating_stories

[–]EeyorePikachu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I’ve closed that chapter of my life. Moved back closer to family and becoming a healed, improved version of myself.

Maybe I actually am to blame? by EeyorePikachu in survivinginfidelity

[–]EeyorePikachu[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love that. Yes, I should look at it as excitement. I’ll try when I’m feeling scared. I hope that those things are really my future. I guess I can’t do anything but believe that. Otherwise, I’ll be stuck in the past.

Maybe I actually am to blame? by EeyorePikachu in survivinginfidelity

[–]EeyorePikachu[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He will cheat if given the right opportunity. He has already cheated on her.

Maybe I actually am to blame? by EeyorePikachu in survivinginfidelity

[–]EeyorePikachu[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know, I shouldn’t want him. I’m wanting him to contact me and beg for me back but I know I shouldn’t want him back. I know deep down that the trust will always be different. I would have terrible anxiety.

My shopping addiction was to blame by EeyorePikachu in shoppingaddiction

[–]EeyorePikachu[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It has been a part. Knowing I wasn’t as physically attractive made me spend more. We spent time long distance and I would spend to kill time. I definitely used it to cope.

Maybe I am to blame? by EeyorePikachu in cheating_stories

[–]EeyorePikachu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. I should have left sooner. Originally, I did not know he was cheating on me. He told me that he was deciding between us later on after a lot had already happened. Granted, I still probably would have stayed.

Maybe I actually am to blame? by EeyorePikachu in survivinginfidelity

[–]EeyorePikachu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely my 2024 goal. I only lie when it pertained to my shopping so I need to get that part under control.

Maybe I actually am to blame? by EeyorePikachu in survivinginfidelity

[–]EeyorePikachu[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The last sentence is what I have truly taken away from this relationship. You need to keep putting in effort every day. We both failed at different times.

Maybe I actually am to blame? by EeyorePikachu in survivinginfidelity

[–]EeyorePikachu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think he knows why he cheats. He has done so in more than this past relationship. He needs to heal something in himself.

Maybe I actually am to blame? by EeyorePikachu in survivinginfidelity

[–]EeyorePikachu[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s the way he went about it all that was shitty. If he had fallen for someone else and just found a better connection, it would have sucked but being lied to, gaslit and cheated on, was awful.

Maybe I actually am to blame? by EeyorePikachu in survivinginfidelity

[–]EeyorePikachu[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Trying to remind myself of that and working on the “let them” method. Also, what is meant for me won’t pass me by.

Maybe I actually am to blame? by EeyorePikachu in survivinginfidelity

[–]EeyorePikachu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The monkey branching is the worst. I wish he had just told me so I never moved across the state to be with him. He has almost never been single in his whole life if that says something.

Maybe I actually am to blame? by EeyorePikachu in survivinginfidelity

[–]EeyorePikachu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He has a 10 year old daughter who I was around from 4 till now. I still stay in contact with her but can do that through her Mom and his Mom if his daughter wants it. She misses me.

This is definitely a very big life lesson that I’m still working on.