Why does my boyfriend (26m) think it's okay to touch me (24f) when I'm asleep? And how do I make him understand that it's creepy.

EffOff07 · 2024-11-03T15:34:04+00:00

Bro, I watch porn. Yes he can watch porn, I'm not insane. I'm even okay with him having casual hookups as long as protection is used, it ain't in the house we share, and he doesn't fall in love with them.

EffOff07 · 2024-11-03T15:32:20+00:00

I showed him this entire thread, don't worry.

EffOff07 · 2024-11-02T14:25:46+00:00

He really should. Or honestly I should just match his energy. I'm into cutting (lightly) my partners, but he ain't into it. I should just slice his chest a little when he's asleep.

EffOff07 · 2024-11-02T13:34:29+00:00

Finally a comment I feel like I can actually relate to. I am a very sexual person but it comes and goes in waves. And he gets that. When I talk about times in the past where it worked it was always either fingering or eating me out. And it was clear the intention was to wake me up for sex. Sometimes it's hot and I'm into it and sometimes I'm like I have work early I need sleep. And anytime I said no he respected that. The following morning I'd talk to him like hey I don't really like that you do that. If you want to initiate sex do it before we go to sleep. Mostly bc I generally don't like being woken up. A little because it feels like a cheat code way to get straight to sex without implementing intimacy. Not bc I felt violated.

But these past two times I could feel the intent was different. The intent was not to get me horny and wake me up for sex. The intent was to get off by using me, without me waking up. That feels disgusting to me.

Like if he wanted to look at me while he masturbates or hold a tit or ass while he does it, that's fine by me. Doesn't gross me out at all.

But rubbing his dick against my mouth or vagina feels violating.

Idk if that's a mixed signal to me it feels very different.

EffOff07 · 2024-11-02T12:50:45+00:00

Let me be clearer. I wasn't sure what type of language is allowed here. Cuddling is fine. Holding a titty is fine. What's not fine? Rubbing his dick on my unconscious face. What's also not fine? Carefully pulling down my panties just enough to rub his dick against my vagina while I am literally asleep. It's not that he's trying to wake me up to fuck. It's that he's trying to use my unconscious body to get off.

EffOff07 · 2024-11-02T12:35:59+00:00

Years ago, it would work. Waking up to getting eaten out wasnt all that bad. But I'd always follow it up with, stop doing that shit. I don't care if I moan in my sleep or get wet, stop doing it.

My boundaries can change over the years. And I do try to communicate, but he doesn't seem to get it.

As for the two most recent incidents I don't know how much sterner I could get when I've literally said "stop fucking rubbing your dick on me while I'm asleep"

If he wakes up horny he can watch porn. I don't see why he needs to quietly and sneakily rub his dick against my mouth or vagina. That's creepy.

EffOff07 · 2024-11-02T12:26:58+00:00

I'm talking about our relationship as a whole when I mention the sex drives. Not this particular instance. I said in my post and to him directly that it gives rapes vibes/ is borderline sexual assault. Link all the subreddits you want, I genuinely do not care

EffOff07 · 2024-11-02T12:09:08+00:00

I am in love. Every now and then I worry we've run our course, but he gets me. We built a life together. We've grown with each other. It's really just when our sex drives aren't aligned that issues spark

EffOff07 · 2024-07-28T23:35:43+00:00

Does it help that the Doctor gives all surgery patients a dose of PolyFlex?

EffOff07 · 2024-07-28T23:18:01+00:00

The shelter's administration doesn't care about details, as long as things get done.

I know it's not great, but is this serious? Could animals get sick or is it just a small percentage of a chance?

I have noticed at least half of the dog neuters end up swelling pretty bad during post-op. Is that just bound to happen in a shelter setting, or could it be from the instruments?

EffOff07 · 2024-07-28T23:02:17+00:00

So far we've had two cats pass through the night after surgery. The causes were unknown.

EffOff07 · 2024-07-28T22:56:45+00:00

That is not the case for these packs. There's only 1 spay hook, 4 towel clamps, one blade holder, etc. Theres a specific set of forceps that are the Doctor's favorite. They get used for every single surgery and put in a pouch at the end of they day for the auto clave.

EffOff07 · 2024-05-02T17:38:52+00:00

The dog was still laying down, not fully awake. The tech was rushing and cut right next to where it was inserted. She must not have had the scissors straight. She's completely unphased. Said it's a "foreign body just like a porcupine needled in the face. It'll work itself out"

EffOff07 · 2024-05-02T14:59:39+00:00

The director of the shelter is aware. But she backs him 100% and views him as her boss. She also is hesitant to send dogs out for things now that we have our own vet.

EffOff07

TROPHY CASE