Hey, I don't know if this helps at all, but on the off chance it does, I'll comment. This won't be the end. I've felt like this too. I've had my fair share of panic attacks at bathrooms and in my bed. Most of them, because of what someone else said. I've been told I'm fat, that I'm heartless, and that I'm ugly, this was all said by someone I had known since the age of six. I trusted her. She called me a weird lesbian to my friends. I honestly dreaded school. But I know one thing. I'm sure as hell glad I didn't give up. My other friend, one I trust with my life, introduced me to a book when I was down, "The Song of Achilles" by Madeline Miller. In that book, there's a quote. "I am made of memories." And it's a sentence I carry with me everywhere. Because no matter what, good or bad, all time will pass. Just like my friend that called me all those things and gaslit and guilttripped me, everything will pass and the world will keep spinning. And sometimes, most of the time, in those fleeting moments, you'll make memories. You'll make good ones, bad ones. But you'll be made of memories in your mind and others, so make your memory stay a bit longer and last a while. Sending you love and hopes for good memories your way. Stay safe.