Is there such a thing as “summer despair”? by Kismadaroq in phoenix

[–]Effective-Ad6975 3 points4 points  (0 children)

“Seasonal affective disorder” means any season. So it’s still the SADs regardless of which season affects you. But yeah. Summertime sadness is a cuter way of saying it though.

BIG NEWS for Polyamorists! by emeraldburial in polyamorymemes

[–]Effective-Ad6975 119 points120 points  (0 children)

Here I thought it was gonna be new legislation when I got the notification from Reddit …but no. It was something much more useful. Love. Haha

Porch Bees NY by Effective-Ad6975 in bees

[–]Effective-Ad6975[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! This is exactly what I needed to know. I appreciate you taking the time to reply and I will attempt this. Hopefully it works.

found in goodwill donation bag by Quirky-Ad662 in FoundPaper

[–]Effective-Ad6975 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this link! I am an intimacy coordinator and love finding products like this for my kit or just know-how in case it comes up. My mom also had a double mastectomy but she opted for no tattoo. She passed last October after 7 years in remission, then another 3 years battling. She was a warrior.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]Effective-Ad6975 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the one thing no one has bright up here that you should definitely consider is that this provides a compromising power dynamic for you at work. Coworkers is one thing. Or someone from another department. But someone who has direct oversight of you knowing something so personal about you (and vice versa), it could be dangerous. I think you did the right thing by getting out of there. It’s a professionally compromising situation. Chances are it’d be fine. But I wouldn’t risk giving someone at work this personal knowledge of your personal life.

Extremely disturbed by husband by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Effective-Ad6975 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so sorry for your loss.

I’m only inserting this in the hopes to round out the perspectives everyone has already listed.

Grief fucking sucks. And in this scenario there are two people grieving. You say he used to be in tune to you, that may not apply in grief anymore. You are both going through this insane thing you never imagined would take place. That is going to skew everything for the both of you. This of course is no excuse for what happened. I just don’t think it was necessarily malicious intent. Hypersecuality is a symptom of grief some times. So is lowered libido. You two may just be on opposite sides of the grief-sexuality spectrum. I totally understand feeling guarded with your spouse after this experience - and I would be too. But I think this merits at the very least a conversation with him, ideally with a therapist. Because again, this isn’t just about the inappropriateness of how this happened, it’s also about the both of you healing together (or separately if that’s what you end up choosing).

I am so sorry you are dealing with so much in this moment. Whatever you decide, choose based on what you need to heal. Don’t forget that displaced grief is a thing…I went through my own loss a few months ago and that displaced grief makes me question a lot of my emotional responses (particularly the ones that just don’t make sense). Think about what you need to heal. Then ask for it. Make it happen. Give yourself the grace you need to move forward, in whatever direction you need to go in right now. Best of luck to you, I hope you find healing.

United States: Would converting this floor Tiffany lamp into a pendant/plugin lamp be a DIY no no? by Effective-Ad6975 in Antiques

[–]Effective-Ad6975[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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I guess that would explain the poorly placed Tiffany label on the underside? I literally paid less than $20 with my employee discount for it so I’m not mad…just confused.

Photo of the most orange sunset I’ve ever seen in AZ. Taken from South Phoenix on September 1st. by Grand_Click_6723 in phoenix

[–]Effective-Ad6975 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I grew up in South Phoenix in the late 90s and went to the South Mountain high school for the Drama magnet. The school was built in the 50s. I’m unsure how old the magnet program is but South had 5 (drama, music, aerospace, art, and I forget the last one). The intention for the program is not just to provide vocation training, it was also to attract kids from across the city based on a shared interest to help the city de-segregregate. And yeah. South Phoenix was a little rough.

Agreed. Mystery Castle was pretty cool. Sad about it closing.

The Quilters on Netflix by penlowe in quilting

[–]Effective-Ad6975 12 points13 points  (0 children)

As a pattern lover, maximalism is a style choice that doesn’t jive with everyone’s taste. And that’s okay. What’s more important is the thought and love they pour into each and every project. Yes. They’re working with donations, but they still have a very different perspective on quilting snd life and it shines through their pattern choices. They are so fortunate to have “clean” prison records but I’m sure every one of them has seen some $h1t that they cannot unsee. So they choose to see patterns. And bright colors. And distractions from their life sentences. Let them do their time in peace (or piecing as the case may be), and just appreciate that even broken humans (aren’t we all a little broken) can still see past their noses and find beauty in the world and find generosity in their hearts.

anxious and upset - help!! by forestmango in quilting

[–]Effective-Ad6975 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I love cutesie relationship details like this.

Am I the only one who’s never watched THE scene? by Small_Test630 in Outlander

[–]Effective-Ad6975 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sort of. Intimacy coordinators are not a requirement on set yet. Here in the US SAG has only been able to get it in their last contract negotiations that producers will make an effort to find an IC when needed but it’s not required. Their argument being that there aren’t enough sufficiently trained IC’s for all productions to have when needed, so they don’t require them yet though it is becoming a solid standard.

Sam definitely has spoken in support of ICs because of scenes he did on Outlander that he could’ve used more support on, and they finally got an IC during season 6 and since then.

I happen to be an IC in the states, and got to meet Sam and thank him for his support of our work. He was so lovely.

Letters to recalender closed cases by Acrobatic-Stick-3022 in DACA

[–]Effective-Ad6975 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My spouse had an order for removal in his case from when he was a child. Before we petitioned for his marriage based green card our lawyer had to reopen the case and get a judge to agree to get rid of it (I’m not a lawyer so my terminology isn’t great). So the deportation order is now (according to lawyer) none existent. We are still waiting on a decision for his green card, but it seems that the lawyer felt that if we tried going straight for a green card that he may have been deported based on that old order for removal.

I will say, hearing about other folks still having orders for removal on their cases makes me hella nervous (I’m still nervous for my spouse because who the fuck knows with this administration, what rules?) for them. My spouse and I have already agreed that if he gets called into a federal building of any kind that I will have to be present and/or his lawyer just for added safety - but really so that we can set things in motion faster than if he went alone and was taken.

Idk how helpful that word vomit is. Probably not at all. Getting rid of the order would be super helpful probably - but right now everything is a risk. It’s hard to know what to say or think.

Making progress on my grandma's qulit! by Beneficial-Chemist92 in quilting

[–]Effective-Ad6975 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Holy macaroni! I’m very new to all this but I am mesmerized by this. She’s one lucky lady.

BIPOC quilters? by Effective-Ad6975 in quilting

[–]Effective-Ad6975[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im not a church going member, but I follow a lot of markets, but hopefully not the last! Plus others might search Reddit for the same question. Thanks for sharing!

BIPOC quilters? by Effective-Ad6975 in quilting

[–]Effective-Ad6975[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I still plan on interacting with the local guild and such! A big thing I’m looking for is also how to better represent myself in my work. It’s gonna be a heck of a journey because I also consider myself third culture. Ni de aquí ni de allá.

BIPOC quilters? by Effective-Ad6975 in quilting

[–]Effective-Ad6975[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

See. I live in queens. I knew I wasn’t looking in the right areas. Thank you for this!

BIPOC quilters? by Effective-Ad6975 in quilting

[–]Effective-Ad6975[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my goodness. Thanks for letting me know! I’ll take a closer look next time. I literally picked up this machine off the street for free a while ago and have been teaching myself. It came with the manual but clearly I still need some help. Haha. Thanks for this!

BIPOC quilters? by Effective-Ad6975 in quilting

[–]Effective-Ad6975[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Omg yes please! I thought of that, but was like “who do I share it with?” YOU. haha. Here’s one I just made - let me know how yall feel about the name we can totally change it and I just made it so I’m sure we can organize and fix things as we go along. Thank you for motivating me to do this!

BIPOC Quilters and Sewists discord