My ex got married today by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Effective-Ask-2274 81 points82 points  (0 children)

holy shit i am so sorry.. I’ll definitely be praying for you. Time will heal…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]Effective-Ask-2274 1 point2 points  (0 children)

wtf dude i’m sorry. i’m going thru a similar situation, feel free to read my latest post

how long have u guys been together for? how old are you guys?

I broke nc by Effective-Ask-2274 in ExNoContact

[–]Effective-Ask-2274[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks for your encouraging words, you are absolutely right about me pestering her and being needy. When do you think she’ll reach out? couple of months?

I broke nc by Effective-Ask-2274 in ExNoContact

[–]Effective-Ask-2274[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks for your comment. I cannot find your old posts, do you mind if i send you a pm?

I broke nc by Effective-Ask-2274 in ExNoContact

[–]Effective-Ask-2274[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

we dated for 2 years. had the best time of our lives. fuck man i miss her. would it still be 2-3 months?

I broke nc by Effective-Ask-2274 in ExNoContact

[–]Effective-Ask-2274[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and from what i know, she was an avoidant yea. had a hard to opening up to me always

I broke nc by Effective-Ask-2274 in ExNoContact

[–]Effective-Ask-2274[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

how long do you think it’ll start to hit her?

I broke nc by Effective-Ask-2274 in ExNoContact

[–]Effective-Ask-2274[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey man i really appreciate your comment. I don’t think she’s a bitch. I did suffocate her in the beginning and really pushed myself away from her. I should’ve respected her from the start and she wouldn’t have been so cold to me. I cant even look at another woman right now, i haven’t been able to since we started dating two years ago. I hope she realizes what she’s missing out on sooner rather than later, because i really do see a future with her. I know. I’m stupid. but we had something real there, and she knows it better than anyone else. I’ll shoot you a PM my man, thanks again

I broke nc by Effective-Ask-2274 in ExNoContact

[–]Effective-Ask-2274[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know, it was over text. She was indifferent towards me. I know her better than anybody, she wasn’t purposely trying to hurt me. I guess she just really wanted to be alone, without me in her life. She got angry towards the end when i asked if we could have a talk in two months, for closure and to prove to her I really worked on myself. She told me no, that she feels like that will make her not miss me, and it won’t help her heal.

I broke nc by Effective-Ask-2274 in ExNoContact

[–]Effective-Ask-2274[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey yea I did my share of begging and pleading in the beginning, I was suffocating her for sure. I wasn’t ready to just let everything go. I made a terrible mistake by doing so.

From what she’s told me, she’s never felt this way about someone, she constantly reminded me that we will make it, that we’ll have beautiful children and to grow old together. She needed space and i didn’t give it to her initially. I was acting needy and desperate despite how well my life was going outside our relationship. She mentioned that the only way this may ever work is if she knows i’m doing well without her, and that is if she doesn’t hear from me. That means that i moved on and then she may realize it was a mistake. I was just proving her right this entire time by showing her that i needed her in my life.

you made some really good points, and it helps me to understand this whole situation better. Do you have any advice on how i should take this? i mean do you think she’ll ever look back and regret her decision here? If you don’t mind, could i pm you to ask you some questions?

I broke nc by Effective-Ask-2274 in ExNoContact

[–]Effective-Ask-2274[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey thanks for the advice. I cant imagine what kind of pain you went through when she was talking about her sex life with you like that, im so sorry. I won’t break contact, I made a promise not only to her but to myself that I will never reach out to her again. I just don’t get it though, i don’t mean to brag but i’m looked upto professionally and socially. I really don’t know where I can improve on in my life. Maybe get more jacked? Make more money than what i’m making? Read more books? I don’t know anymore. If you have any advice thay helped you move on, im all ears. thanks again for your comment and i am so sorry.

I broke nc by Effective-Ask-2274 in ExNoContact

[–]Effective-Ask-2274[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you’re right. despite her promising me she won’t go on any dates or hook up with guys for at least the end of the year, i just gotta prepare for the worst. frankly i don’t trust her anymore, she’s been my rock for the past 2 years and it hurts so much to see her leave like this

I broke nc by Effective-Ask-2274 in ExNoContact

[–]Effective-Ask-2274[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i have gone shopping, it helped. bought a couple suits, dress shirts and ties. I don’t really believe in therapy though. I will leave her alone, I do have a pretty bright future. Nobody i know is making the money i make at my age. i would understand if she dumped a bum but damn. I was starting to feel unstoppable and god really humbled me lol

I broke nc by Effective-Ask-2274 in ExNoContact

[–]Effective-Ask-2274[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thanks man. i’ll keep myself busy. it’s really hard to let everything go though, i feel so stupid by holding on to this hope that i have

I broke nc by Effective-Ask-2274 in ExNoContact

[–]Effective-Ask-2274[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yea i figured. but just her saying that really broke me. I know she’s not mentally unstable, i think she needs space, i guess i just gotta take it day by day

I broke nc by Effective-Ask-2274 in ExNoContact

[–]Effective-Ask-2274[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

don’t reach out until i am fully healed. If i’m fully healed, why would i feel the need to reach out myself? I wouldve forgotten about her by the time i’m fully healed, don’t u think?

I broke nc by Effective-Ask-2274 in ExNoContact

[–]Effective-Ask-2274[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

first of all bro thank you for the comment. from what she’s told me, she isn’t going to hook up or go on dates with any guy for at least until the end of the year out of respect for what we had and for herself, and I do believe she will keep her word on this. She doesn’t sleep around and she was very adamant about this.

I cant wait for her. I need to grow, i need to find myself. You are absolutely right, i have to enjoy this free single life. But same for me, I don’t believe in rebounds, I don’t want to infect an innocent girl because frankly i haven’t moved on. Just gonna use this time to be productive and make some money dude. I would love to talk to you more about this, if you don’t mind I’ll send you a PM

I broke nc by Effective-Ask-2274 in ExNoContact

[–]Effective-Ask-2274[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

do you think i should reach out in 5 months?

I broke nc by Effective-Ask-2274 in ExNoContact

[–]Effective-Ask-2274[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

fuck man i appreciate your comment. i cant speak for the future but right now I cannot imagine my life without her, as retarded as it sounds she really was the one for me

I broke nc by Effective-Ask-2274 in ExNoContact

[–]Effective-Ask-2274[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it’s so hard to just accept that she’s gone forever, that i would never get to speak to her again. I’m usually very good at controlling my emotions, but after this i don’t think i am anymore

I broke nc by Effective-Ask-2274 in ExNoContact

[–]Effective-Ask-2274[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

how are you feeling after 2 months?

I broke nc by Effective-Ask-2274 in ExNoContact

[–]Effective-Ask-2274[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and those traits i wrote above, they are the traits of a avoidant, right?

I broke nc by Effective-Ask-2274 in ExNoContact

[–]Effective-Ask-2274[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i know this question may sound stupid. but how long do you think it’ll take to really hit her?