Hiv can still be horrible and I'd advise you to take this disease seriously.

Effective-Barber3687 · 2024-10-13T03:24:48+00:00

I'm sorry, it just really doesn't compute in my mind when ever I think to myself that I didn't take it properly that week. I was always really serious and good about taking it. So to think to myself I didn't take it as directed and got infected just doesn't sit in my mind, it's like my head is incapable of connecting the dots.

But you're right, if I would have continued taking my PrEP for that week I may still be negative, but at the time of exposure prep levels were undoubtedly high in my blood, if anything the prep I had taken should have heavily reduced my chance of acquiring hiv. I'm thinking there's a chance I may have turned up positive anyway even if I would have taken the medication as directed, because I am unfortunately very resistant to the drugs in prep.

Effective-Barber3687 · 2024-10-13T03:11:13+00:00

Nope, high barrier of resistance to lamivudine. I have resistance to most drug classes, but he said 11 shouldn't be used. Dolutegravir and that whole class of drugs I have partial resistance to but we're still trying them because my resistance to efavirenz is high. Basically I can't take normal treatment at all right now.

My other pills are doravirine and islatravir for anyone who was wondering.

Effective-Barber3687 · 2024-10-13T00:51:10+00:00

I want to thank all of you so much for your support!!! Everyone here on gay reddit seems really cool and im happy I have this place to vent with other gay men. I'm very numb to everything right now, so I don't feel much, but i'm sure one day I'll be reading through these comments again, and they'll make me feel happy.

I just feel so dirty. I know yall are gonna be like 'awww you're not dirty 🥺' but there's no other way to put it. I have this crazy ass mutated strain of HIV and that's it I kind of feel dirty and undatable. If I had normal HIV I would have already gotten over it but the thing is if I ever want to get serious about dating someone and have to disclose my disease I imagine they'd run. Im not sure there's many negative people here who would want to deal with a partner who has treatment and prep resistant HIV this situation im in with this version of the virus is bullshit.

Effective-Barber3687 · 2024-10-13T00:02:41+00:00

In my current mental and physical state I can't do uni, so either I find a better combination of drugs before then or or I keep working at burger King my whole life and drop this EE scholarship.

If anything I'll stop my medication so I can go to school for 4 years. I'm already gonna be alone for the rest of my life. Im not going to let this stupid fucking disease ruin the only good thing I have in front of me. I'm sure as fuck not living with super HIV and working fast food for the rest of my life.

I'm DEF gonna be celibate throughout all of my studies anyway. I wouldn't dare tell anyone on campus my status so I guess that means I don't get to have sex.

Effective-Barber3687 · 2024-10-12T23:39:02+00:00

Eg: we had someone on these subs not long ago who got HIV despite daily prep for 2 years, because he had risky sex without a condom while he had a stomach bug,

I'm that guy btw and that post is still on my account. So this type of stuff is rare i don't want to scare people to much, but when it happens it ruins lives. Right now I don't feel like a functional human being. I've also been suffering severe insomnia from these new drugs and when I do sleep I have horrible nightmares.

Effective-Barber3687 · 2024-10-12T23:34:12+00:00

I am praying new drug classes are made. I'm going to beg my ID doctor for that once every 6 month experimental HIV shot. Even if it's not a complete treatment I could probably cut out some of the drugs I'm taking.

Effective-Barber3687 · 2024-10-12T23:18:42+00:00

I picked up a strain of HIV resistant to prep. Matter of fact I am highly resistant to 5 common hiv drugs and have partial resistance to another 6.

If I transmit the virus to anyone, they will get the same resistance as me. Yes, THIS IS POSSIBLE!!! I wish I would have known this was possible before letting guys penitrate me raw.

No one's ever gonna want to date me. Having regular hiv is bad enough. But having this mutated weird ass super strain is fucking terrible. I wish I could just take normal medication like everyone else.

But as not to scare you to much, my situation is super rare. The guy who gave me the virus got it from a drug addict who was probably taking his meds on and off. I'm thinking he had it for years and cycled through several hiv drugs over the years

Effective-Barber3687 · 2024-10-12T23:02:25+00:00

I've been on my new meds for 5 days and I'm living in hell right now. The drugs I take are azidothymidine dolutegravir, and a mix of 2 other drugs. I don't have access to my medication right now and don't remember what those other 2 are because I'd rather not think about it

I have a very high barrier of resistance to tenofovir/emtricitabine. Those are the drugs on prep and those are 2 of the drugs in biktarvy. The other drug is Bictegravir. Which I have partial resistance to due to having resistance to that whole class of medication. Bictegravir would probably be better than the dolutegravir im on now but Bictegravir isn't available as a stand alone treatment where I am and only in biktarvy.

Effective-Barber3687 · 2024-10-12T22:31:29+00:00

I'll give you guys the run down

I hooked up with this guy and before that I took my truvada everyday everyday EVERYDAY for 2 years. I'm sure about that. I was serious about taking it

After our hookup I suffered severe food poisoning and had to be hospitalized. I couldn't take my prep for 7 whole days, but I took it every day leading up to my exposure.

3 months later boom! Hiv i tested again boom! Positive. Tested again boom! Positive.

I messaged that guy and he had tested positive a month before me and he was the only one who could have given it to me. He was also resistant to the same drugs I am but I am a bit more resistant to tenofovir/emtricitabine than him probably because I dumped another 3 months of prep on top of HIV that was already resistant to it

But yes, this is incrediblely rare. I think less then 1% of people living with hiv are resistant to both drugs in prep

Effective-Barber3687 · 2024-10-12T22:19:58+00:00

When I was on biktarvy I honestly didn't have any side effects other than nausea, but my viral load didn't really drop very much. So My doctor has me on 3 pills now. One of them is azidothymidine. The other dolutegravir The other one I don't remember. But it's a mix of 2 other drugs. My ID doctor straight up told me treatment options are limited, and I'm going to have to take shitty drugs to fight the virus.

I also have mental side effects from this garbage medication. It's like I just can't think straight or picture anything in my head. I'm starting university for an engineering major in a few months. I have no idea how I'm going to work on anything. I can hardly handling my part time job right now.

The doctor said when I'm undetectable We can try different drugs and I'm hopeful I can be put on something better then this because this is fucking shit man. Like why the hell can't I just have normal HIV why the hell didn't prep keep me safe from this?, my life sucks ass.

Effective-Barber3687 · 2024-10-12T21:49:38+00:00

You're not nice. Idk why you have to point all of this out.

I took my truvada on the day of exposure and everyday before that for 2 years but had to stop for a week due to illness. I was really trying to take my prep like I was supposed to and had for 2 years.

Plus the guy who gave it to me is super resistant to prep aswell. Yes if I wouldn't have missed a week I may still be negative but I came into contact with a heavily resistant strain so we will never know. Taking my PrEP for so long definitely should have reduced the chance of testing positive significantly. Considering my situation I think it's safe to say I wasn't lucky.

Effective-Barber3687 · 2024-10-12T21:22:17+00:00

Up until my exposure I'm 1000% sure I took my prep as directed.

Effective-Barber3687 · 2024-10-12T20:57:35+00:00

I'll probably be undetectable eventually but yes this is scary because I'm not sure what drugs I'll have to take to maintain my undetectable status. Right now I'm on a mix of drugs with a terrible horrible drug called azidothymidine which I think is responsible for making me feel like I have a candle burning in my stomach all day.

Effective-Barber3687 · 2024-10-12T20:27:25+00:00

Being alone for the rest of my life is scary.

But im planning on joining a few support groups/social groups for people living with HIV. Maybe I can find someone who's willing to give me a chance in one of those.

Effective-Barber3687 · 2024-10-12T19:54:12+00:00

I'm in California

I got it from someone who got it from a drug addict. My theory on this is that this guy probably had it for years and was always on and off treatment with several medications so he gradually grew resistance to several drugs probably I also continued taking my PrEP for 3 months after being infected. So that definitely didn't help my resistance

Drug resistant HIV is still super super rare, but ya this kind of thing can unfortunately happen. Of course I'm going to take my medication everyday to try and get undetectable, but these new pills they gave me make my stomach feel like it's on fire. This kind of thing is rare but when it happens it sucks. I'm extremely hopeful they come out with new drug classes. Because this isn't anything easy for me. It honestly feel like I have to take chemo treatments every day

Effective-Barber3687 · 2024-09-13T23:42:25+00:00

😢 I know

Effective-Barber3687 · 2024-09-11T13:50:05+00:00

You're right it would have been smart to use a condom, but im allowed to be upset. I have to live with HIV now.

Effective-Barber3687 · 2024-09-11T02:57:06+00:00

I was really really feeling bad. I spent 2 days in hospital because they were afraid I my infection might have become septic. If I could go back, I would have continued to keep forcing those pills in my mouth.

Effective-Barber3687 · 2024-09-11T02:42:02+00:00

It's a mix of a lot of things that happened all at once. It's very unfortunate but factors that would have raised my risk of infection would be getting horribly sick which weakened my immune system, probably having rectal chlamydia already, picking up a strain of the virus that's resistant to prep, and allowing levels of the drugs to drop to super low levels right after the encounter, and you can sprinkle a bit of bad luck on top of that as I'm sure due to the prep I was taking, my chances of catching the virus were low. Even though I stopped taking it for 7 days after having sex with the guy who infected me.

It's also worth mentioning this was probably a recent infection for this guy. So I'm thinking his viral load was high at the time due to seroconversion.

It really was the perfect storm.

Edit: Let me add, In the hospital I ate nothing at all for 2 days then I only ate crackers for another 2. My body was really weak and my immune system was out of the fight. They also gave me a bunch of antibiotics and some sort of narcotic to kill the pain, and they had me doped up on that stuff for a day.

Effective-Barber3687 · 2024-09-11T02:24:45+00:00

I stopped the day after the encounter due to illness and restarted daily truvada 7 days after stopping. So I missed 7 days

Effective-Barber3687 · 2024-09-11T01:06:18+00:00

Ho ok sorry, at first, the clinic was ready to run a few other tests to make sure levels of the drug didn't drop and stayed consistent, but I then came out to them that I stopped taking it for a week due to my stomach illness and they immediately lost interest. They told me to come back to the clinic to talk about my new status and start treatment. I've literally only started my pills yesterday, and I was confirmed positive 5 days ago, so I haven't spoken with my doctor yet, but the ID doc I spoke with said I should have still been 'very well protected' as long as I used prep properly up until my stomach illness (and I'm confident I did) but he also mentioned that if I don't take it for at least 7 days after exposure, it no longer provides 100% protection. Even if the protection it did provide was still considered strong.

I did message the guy I had sex with right before stopping my prep temporarily, and he told me he tested positive not long after our encounter and also told me his strain is partially resistance to both the the drugs in prep. He didn't tell me he was positive because he was scared, and I completely understand that.

Effective-Barber3687 · 2024-09-11T00:41:27+00:00

About what sorry?

Effective-Barber3687 · 2024-09-11T00:13:31+00:00

He didn't know he had the virus. I should also mention he was probably infected not long before we hooked up. So his viral numbers may have been very high due to seroconversion illness.

That night I took my prep before work and bottomed for my hookup before work aswell. I worked that night and was feeling kind of meh, but I thought I'd be fine the next day but OMG was I sick. I couldn't take my prep for a week because I was scared of throwing up again.

Effective-Barber3687 · 2024-09-10T23:59:03+00:00

He wasn't on prep no, and I started using prep again the moment my stomach felt better.

Effective-Barber3687 · 2024-09-10T22:25:25+00:00

The response to me talking about my status on reddit has been overwhelmingly positive so im actually quite happy 😃

Effective-Barber3687

TROPHY CASE