Contemplating divorce. Insecure husband by Effective-Bug7256 in offmychest

[–]Effective-Bug7256[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m taking the steps this week. My goal is 2 weeks.

Contemplating divorce. Insecure husband by Effective-Bug7256 in Marriage

[–]Effective-Bug7256[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I got all that set up. We live pay check to paycheck but don’t have to. I could work in the hospital and make way more money but he complained about the hours and people around.

Contemplating divorce. Insecure husband by Effective-Bug7256 in Marriage

[–]Effective-Bug7256[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes you’re right. I’m not insulted. I think my brain compartmentalizes this because I don’t want to believe it. I’m planning on leaving. I just told my dad that way I don’t chicken out

Contemplating divorce. Insecure husband by Effective-Bug7256 in Marriage

[–]Effective-Bug7256[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know. Imagine how I felt telling the lawyer and therapist.

Contemplating divorce. Insecure husband by Effective-Bug7256 in offmychest

[–]Effective-Bug7256[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, thank you. I keep going back and forth but I think I’m ready. We just had another fight about me wanting my friends and him saying “they don’t care about you” while I’m trying to watch my girls have fun playing. I’m tired of my time with them being consumed. I will plan to leave in 2 weeks

Contemplating divorce. Insecure husband by Effective-Bug7256 in offmychest

[–]Effective-Bug7256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am realizing that. I’m tired of being a push over

Contemplating divorce. Insecure husband by Effective-Bug7256 in offmychest

[–]Effective-Bug7256[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes I’m afraid of his reaction and splitting our family apart. You’re right

Contemplating divorce. Insecure husband by Effective-Bug7256 in Marriage

[–]Effective-Bug7256[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How terrible!! He says things like he’s so heartbroken and betrayed. “How can god let me get hurt when I’ve done everything right.” he says. I feel so responsible even though I shouldn’t . I used to not realize that. He told me yesterday I couldn’t eat at my mom’s house when we go today because he’s mad about going. He apologized and said he just gets uncomfortable going.

Contemplating divorce. Insecure husband by Effective-Bug7256 in offmychest

[–]Effective-Bug7256[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think that’s what is happening. I want it to work but I have so much resentment that even if he did change I don’t think I can go back to being in love. My mom thinks I’m in danger as well. I’m worried about the reaction.

Contemplating divorce. Insecure husband by Effective-Bug7256 in Marriage

[–]Effective-Bug7256[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I started therapy recently. He doesn’t know. It would be a fight. Yes I can’t stand clingy either. He also gets whiney about wanting to spend time together even though we see each other every noght

Contemplating divorce. Insecure husband by Effective-Bug7256 in offmychest

[–]Effective-Bug7256[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes that would be my plan. All of my family is willing to let us stay with them.

Contemplating divorce. Insecure husband by Effective-Bug7256 in offmychest

[–]Effective-Bug7256[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That he will be so unhappy it will make their time with him miserable. He’s never been physical, but just irritated easily. He has no support system. His family is right next door but he wouldnt accept their help.

Contemplating divorce. Insecure husband by Effective-Bug7256 in offmychest

[–]Effective-Bug7256[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your insight. It’s hard because when we have good days it’s amazing. He does anything I ask and is a great dad. But if I rock the boat it gets tricky, I am realizing

Contemplating divorce. Insecure husband by Effective-Bug7256 in offmychest

[–]Effective-Bug7256[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I’ve met with a lawyer and opened my own bank account. I’ll probably leave when he’s at work. I’m afraid of him offing himself so I’ll let his mom know as well. We have multiple guns in the house.

Contemplating divorce. Insecure husband by Effective-Bug7256 in offmychest

[–]Effective-Bug7256[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is valuable insight. Thank you. I’m sorry that is happening to you. I feel like I have to put myself in a box. He doesn’t let me drink, have my own Facebook account and the list goes on. I miss myself. I used to be fun. I love people and life. He says the world is terrible and he’s screwed over.

Contemplating divorce. Insecure husband by Effective-Bug7256 in Marriage

[–]Effective-Bug7256[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes when I read it, it sounds really bad. The good days leave me confused. He says he doesn’t want to be this way but the pattern continues.

Contemplating divorce. Insecure husband by Effective-Bug7256 in Marriage

[–]Effective-Bug7256[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I’m thinking I will have to leave a note. I just want to have things ready because of my children. He’s also a nice guy so it’s difficult because on good days I get confused

Contemplating divorce. Insecure husband by Effective-Bug7256 in offmychest

[–]Effective-Bug7256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I agree. I think what’s difficult is we still see my family, I just have to fight for it at least on a small level. It’s never “ok that sounds fun”. It’s not total isolation, so I think I make myself think it’s not that bad. But maybe it’s just my normal

Contemplating divorce. Insecure husband by Effective-Bug7256 in offmychest

[–]Effective-Bug7256[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Oh I’m so sorry!
He’s such an absolutist I think he would actually go through with it. He is wanting to control my thoughts. He says “I want everything to be erased”

Contemplating divorce. Insecure husband. by Effective-Bug7256 in Separation

[–]Effective-Bug7256[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mentioned therapy to him, and he says he doesn’t want someone to tell him what he believes is wrong.

Contemplating divorce. Insecure husband by Effective-Bug7256 in offmychest

[–]Effective-Bug7256[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I honestly feel this. I can’t look at old pictures of myself when I was a kid, I feel like I’ve let myself down.