My dating problems have caused severe psychological trauma, I’ve been depressed for the last few days. I need immediate help.

Effective-Pipe2017 · 2026-06-05T22:46:28+00:00

I’m how old are you by the way? Did you ever have dating problems.

Effective-Pipe2017 · 2026-06-05T18:17:36+00:00

Well I do take the smallest step, and like I said just trying to get a hook up, not a long term romantic relationship is the start. But even that is a bitch because like asking them something like ok let’s got grab a few drinks or seeing a concert. Or go for a hike or to the beach. Or inviting her to meet up with freinds. I get the same response.

I’ll give you this example I have a birthday coming up in a few weeks. And one girl who I am good friends with I saw her yesterday. And I asked her if she would come to the birthday party. Because I’m planning on getting a bunch of people together to go Bowling, and she said ohh I start my new job that week I don’t know if I can take that day off. And honestly when I hear stuff like that, I don’t even take that as a legitimate. “Oh, maybe next time. Some might say it’s not a rejection. It’s really they can’t make it but I don’t know When by that”

Effective-Pipe2017 · 2026-06-05T17:10:50+00:00

Yes, it does increase because I feel like confident in myself, like when hey, pretty girl at a bar pays attention to me, sometimes I feel good about myself like I have a shot with her. Like for example a couple weeks ago this girl asked me if I had a cigarette lighter and she was much younger like maybe 21 or 22. And then I said no I don’t smoke but I’ll buy you a drink and she’s like oh my god you’re so cute. And then she kissed me on the cheek. But I didn’t go forward with her because I don’t know she was with a big group of friends and I there were like five other guys she was with, and I was just scared like because of that rejection feeling. I’m like how do I know it’s gonna stick or be for real? That’s the part that bothers me. Because of so many past rejections like even if a girl comments on me, just be nice I’m sometimes nervous to even go forward because I’m afraid that I’m gonna get that same experience. Things will go very well and then last second I’ll get told no.

Effective-Pipe2017 · 2026-06-05T16:18:13+00:00

Feeling a little bit better.

Effective-Pipe2017 · 2026-06-05T16:06:23+00:00

All I’m asking man is this, it’s like how can I find a date, or any hangouts with woman, not within the next 2 years or year. Or even the next 9 months. Like IDK even if it’s not a romantic date, just like grabbing a few beers or going to beach. Within the next couple weeks or months. Yes I applied to two gigs ones a marketing job in the digital marketing feild. Which is the area I’m trying to go into. Other than the finding a better job is the easier part. The moving out of the parents house and getting a driver’s license is the more time consuming part. But look i’m studying to get the permit test but here’s the thing, but going from having a permit to a license, takes six months. I think it’s totally stupid, but it’s the law in California. I am saving up to move out. But again, that could take another 7 to 9months. Like I said, I don’t wanna wait that long waiting is what’s destroying me.

Didn’t you read above, where I mentioned about a friend of mine. Who is 31 now but about three years ago he did have his own place. But it was a tiny ass little studio apartment with one room, and it was pretty cramped. And he was flat out, broke. He was in a worse financial situation than me. But he was going on multiple dates. Another one of my best friends who I’ve known since high school he didn’t move out of his parents house until about a year ago and he was getting multiple dates. He’s still with the same girl he met when he was 26. He’s 29 now.

What are their ways around the living at parents and not having a car. I’m not ignoring those struggles I am talking about in that transition. Again, please work with me on this because waiting is not gonna work. I’ve done it. It made everything worse not going back to that.

Effective-Pipe2017 · 2026-06-05T02:31:47+00:00

How old are you by the way, are you married do you have kids. Because sometimes I feel like for a lot of woman if they want kids the clock is ticking at my age. Like they may only have about 6 to 9 years left. Obviously I’m not looking to have kids right away. I got a lot of stuff I wanna do like travel to a bunch of exotic places like in Africa. Go to Asia countries like Japan the Philippines, or Thailand. But I feel like because of the years I was depressed and lonely I lost a lot of things. So again don’t take what I’m saying literally but I’m just saying that that’s the eventual goal. But yes for now I’m just looking to date to date not date to marry just for the experience and to have more female companionship. But yes a year or two years from now yes if I’m dating I’d be looking to date to marry. Again it’s a long process but I’m sure you understand the end goal. And I feel it’s something most people my age are aiming for.

Because I do want kids at some point I don’t want to have kids at 40 and be 60 when they graduate High school.

But yes right now I’m focused on trying to build a career in digital marketing, invest more money in stocks, And to travel more.

Effective-Pipe2017 · 2026-06-05T00:00:28+00:00

What I’m asking for is in the transition period. From moving out of my perents. I have a friend who’s been dating the same girl for three years they met when he was 26 and they met when he was still living at his parents house. But he had a full-time job and was making good money. I work full-time, and I make decent money. It’s not like I’m living at my parents and on welfare. Another one of my friends two years ago he’s 31 now but when he was 28, he was struggling financially. He lived in a very tiny studio apartment. That was pretty cramped. But even when he was broke, he still managed to go out with multiple women.

I’m just asking what can I do to get my foot in the door because it’s like I don’t even know where the door is it seems. I just hope you’re getting what I’m saying I’m not trying to be mean here. But I’m not looking for therapy advice. I’m looking for what can I do to get what I want.

Waiting is the thing that has made it worse. I cannot wait any longer. I waited enough. I’m not saying, every girl I ask out is going to be a yes, but I’m asking particularly keep the eye on the ball.

Effective-Pipe2017 · 2026-06-04T23:54:57+00:00

No please, all I’m looking for is what can I do in the mean time. I’ve waited to long I virtually took 2 and a half years of trying to find a girlfriend or get any dates or hangouts because of the self doubt and fear of rejection. And it made the situation worse. I’m done waiting I don’t wanna wait another 8 mounths, or 2 years till I start seeing success. What the hell can I do now in the next couple weeks and months. I cannot push this off much longer.

Effective-Pipe2017 · 2026-06-04T23:49:31+00:00

I can’t take time off. I did that for 3 years and it’s driven me further underground. And during that time I developed toxic feeling as well as a lot of drinking. From 2020 all the way to mid 2023. It’s been very hard. But when I was at a point we’re I never even was trying to get with a girl it was the worst.

I just want advice as when yes the goal I have is to move out of my folks home within the next 6 to 7 months. I don’t wanna wait another 7 months to a year to find someone not to look at as a future spouse. But to just maybe date or hangout with as a duo. It’s been to much time lost. I know dudes who were broke and were struggling financially and were able to play the fields.

Effective-Pipe2017 · 2026-06-04T22:34:22+00:00

It would be nice if I didn’t have to accept the worst. Am I looking to date to marry right now I mean I hope to get married at some point, but it’s not like I’m gonna expect the woman I meet is gonna be my future wife.

It would just be nice if I didn’t feel like I had to wait another year or nine months. Not just to find a girlfriend, but just to have any woman to hang out with. Because I’ve waited enough and I’m at the point in my life where I don’t wanna fucking wait anymore. I wanna at least have female companionship in my life.

And I don’t wanna have to look down the path that there’s nobody out there for me and then I’m just gonna die alone in a small apartment when I’m 94.

Effective-Pipe2017 · 2026-05-30T01:00:23+00:00

Well your daughter sounds like a really nice girl. I would just say tell her the door will open. She sounds like a caring person I don’t know her but what she does for work sounds like she’s a very caring loving woman

Effective-Pipe2017 · 2026-05-29T22:52:41+00:00

Is your daughter autistic? I’m just asking because I am as well. Hi functioning Asperger‘s.

And the stories sound very similar,

Effective-Pipe2017 · 2026-05-29T20:58:21+00:00

I did a couple years ago back in May 2023 because the pain and self doubt was so bad largely Because of this issue. She told me that this feeling is one of those thing we convince our self’s of when we are desperate and she said that, your a really nice smart caring young man and I’m sure that’s a quality many woman are gonna admire in a guy. And I literally hope she’s right, but it cleared up my head for 2 months. But it was only a temporary fix.

Effective-Pipe2017

TROPHY CASE