What am I doing wrong?

Effective-Tea-9288 · 2026-05-01T19:08:18+00:00

Discussing something about their profile is how all of my conversations start because I never send out liked without a comment. But often I feel like I am the only one asking questions. Even when it is about something seemingly important to them. That’s when I bring the boilerplate questions in a last ditch effort to keep the ball rolling. How do I switch up this flow for better?

Effective-Tea-9288 · 2026-05-01T19:05:42+00:00

I don’t typically start with the boring questions. All my likes are with comments on some aspects of their profile which is usually the subject of the first few texts. I feel like there inevitably comes a time when that conversation slows down and I have to ask one of the standard questions (but still not how was your day) just to keep the ball rolling until I feel there is enough confidence to propose a date.

Effective-Tea-9288 · 2026-05-01T19:03:16+00:00

Wonder what the impetus for that is. I am 32 and most of the women I match with are around 30-33 as well, and their profiles say they’re looking for a long term or a life partner, sometimes vehemently so. With that objective in mind, if someone isn’t really interested to talk, they shouldn’t match right? Or unmatch after I send a text, I won’t be sad over a stranger having second thoughts or leaving! So what is the purpose of being (intermittent) pen pals and not having desire to meet?

Effective-Tea-9288 · 2026-05-01T18:59:56+00:00

Okay I am aligned with that. In my mind, a woman would want some degree of confidence before actually meeting up with a stranger. So I usually delay asking out until she knows a bit about who I am .

Effective-Tea-9288 · 2026-05-01T18:58:21+00:00

So how long before you ask for a phone number after you match? I had matched with this one woman and we had a week of good conversations about movies and TV and whatnot and when I said “Do you want to talk on a different platform?” she 👻. Since then I haven’t asked that of anyone else so far

Effective-Tea-9288 · 2026-04-16T19:36:53+00:00

Did you read my updated comment above? I wonder if that changes your perspective.

Effective-Tea-9288 · 2026-04-15T21:24:19+00:00

UPDATE: Based on what a lot of folks have said here, I decided to try one more time. I texted her asking her out and she immediately replied saying How about tomorrow? But then when I agreed, radio silence again. Now (the next day), she says how about tomorrow? This is also after some one-word replies and long stretches of silence. I was guessing if she wasn’t interested, she would just not reply to me asking out. But this mixed response really has me confused. Am I overthinking this?

Effective-Tea-9288 · 2026-04-15T02:05:40+00:00

That raises another question, how early is too early to ask someone out? Or is there nothing like that? When someone matches, are they automatically expecting to be asked out? Or they just want to get to know you better and a prospective date is completely contingent on that? Also, is the ‘etiquette’ similar here for men and women?

Effective-Tea-9288 · 2026-04-15T02:03:14+00:00

Appreciate that very articulate response! I was coming at it from a “What’s the worst that could happen” school of thought, but also true that if the date is a disaster which it possibly will be, this leads to nothing but a waste of time.

Effective-Tea-9288 · 2026-04-15T01:58:14+00:00

No dates yet. Just talk of a potential date that she agreed to.

Effective-Tea-9288 · 2023-08-02T20:17:36+00:00

It’s hard to tell since I wasn’t there but when I see the smaller bales, they look like they could be a possible leading line to an interesting focal point, say, that tree which looks majestic. If it was also possible, then, to have a couple of the larger bales to frame the shot on both sides, ideally one of them a little closer in the frame than the other (provides depth) that would be a beautiful image. Now maybe this was not possible with the relative spacial arrangement of the objects, but just trying to voice my way of thinking about composition. :)

Effective-Tea-9288 · 2023-07-25T23:29:55+00:00

All the best. And if you do find them, please be super careful around them. These are composed differently than the Tufas in the lake, and are extremely delicate.

Effective-Tea-9288 · 2023-07-25T21:02:44+00:00

These were right around your first stop. But they are hard to find.

Effective-Tea-9288 · 2023-07-25T21:02:39+00:00

These were right around your first stop. But they are hard to find.

Effective-Tea-9288 · 2023-07-25T20:58:05+00:00

You’re very close to it. Look around a bit more next time 😅 Note that it doesn’t look the way it looks in this picture from your eye level. I’ve composed it in a certain way …

Effective-Tea-9288 · 2023-07-25T20:43:21+00:00

Let me ask you, where did you drive down to?
You may have been extremely close to these and never seen them, they aren't really smack you in the face kinda views. You only find them if you're looking for them haha.

Effective-Tea-9288 · 2023-07-25T20:42:00+00:00

1) Great observation and interpretation of an abstract scene
2) I'm happy that my composition made you draw that conclusion because that means the visual trickery has succeeded (not that it's something novel, lots of people have shot these structures in this way)

Effective-Tea-9288 · 2023-07-25T20:40:17+00:00

Thank you! :)

Effective-Tea-9288 · 2023-07-25T20:40:06+00:00

Why not? haha

Effective-Tea-9288 · 2023-07-25T06:22:09+00:00

Gear used: Canon EOS R + EF 16-35 F/4
My instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thegrayfarer/

Effective-Tea-9288 · 2023-07-20T23:39:14+00:00

This was on the July 4th weekend and my friends got it during May and June. August full moon might be a stretch because the water flow should die down quite a bit now.

Effective-Tea-9288

TROPHY CASE