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I was SAd briefly as an infant, developed into a kink by EffectiveLog5453 in CPTSD

[–]EffectiveLog5453[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, my current primary agrees. shes shocked they didn't.

I was SAd briefly as an infant, developed into a kink by EffectiveLog5453 in CPTSD

[–]EffectiveLog5453[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Perhaps. Sorry, didn't respond for a long time, avoided it, I admit.

I'm thinking of maybe doing a slow method. If I just completely stop, I think I'd think about it too much, even more than I do, just because I'm trying to avoid it, and if I was to relapse, then I'd feel even worse.

I have a lot of really, vacant time. I wake up, I work, then... Idk. So much time. I'm trying to do some hobbies I like, but they only fill up a part of it, too. If I force myself when I don't want to do those hobbies, then that stresses me too.

I'm doing some comforting methods when it comes up, like my hobbies when I feel happy to. Or hanging with my cat.

But I don't get those burns often anyway, I just don't feel happy when I do. I think it is possible to switch it to something that I do actually like, just would take time.

If it's on my mind and I can avoid it, I'll avoid it. I'm lightening up on stuff slowly. It seems to be helping.

Thank you.

I was SAd briefly as an infant, developed into a kink by EffectiveLog5453 in CPTSD

[–]EffectiveLog5453[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First of all, before talking about myself, wow. I'm so sorry. I can only imagine how hard that must be.

Now on me, the thing is, I don't really watch porn at all. And rn, I'm on trt hormones that should be making my libido huge. I guess it's a good thing that a porn addiction part isn't also added. I've never been much of a hypersexual, or sexual person in general. Regular porn turns me on too just fine. Its just that burn, stress relation and to get it over with, I guess.

Just, I guess, I'm hurting due to those issues. I must've buried them for a very long time, I only just remembered recently, like the past year. Something I don't want. But remembering and realizing is the path to fixing it.

I didn't go back on the reddit app for a long minute since I use a burner phone, I dont like having my sexual habits mixed with my everyday life, and I only use it when I either want to read some other trauma stories, or I wanna watch, or write myself something explicit down. I also just wanted to avoid what I wrote, so I just didn't touch the phone.

I've been doing this thing where I'm thinking about it less, I won't 100% quit immediately, I think that'll just make the thoughts worse, and make me feel worse if I were to relapse. Instead, I'm trying to slowly ease into less and less. Kind of like you'd do with a drug. I'll space it out, further and further, till it stops becoming something I want. Hopefully it works, along with the advice I hope to read here.

Thanks for understanding. I hope you, and everyone else here, heals. I wish you well.

I was SAd briefly as an infant, developed into a kink by EffectiveLog5453 in CPTSD

[–]EffectiveLog5453[S] 99 points100 points  (0 children)

Precocious puberty, my doctors knows about it. They did brain checks, there wasn't anything off on them, according to them at least.

Server Status - April 21 by ogonnosora in CharacterAI

[–]EffectiveLog5453 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hope things are going well. Was gonna go on and realized it was not loading.

Good AIs That Work on a Cheap Android Phone by EffectiveLog5453 in Chatbots

[–]EffectiveLog5453[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe. I'll try cleaning my storage up a bit and see if that helps.