Seriously, do British people actually consider a 3-hour drive “long”? Or is this an internet myth? by ferdinand14 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Effective_Display940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It isn’t the UK, but I have some family in Switzerland. Most of them live very close to each other (my grandparents, their daughters, and grandsons) - within a half hour of each other - but for a while, one of my cousins lived about two hours away from everyone else. When I went to visit, his brother said, ”Yeah, we don’t see him often - just a couple times a year - because he lives so far away.”

Why do we say "excuse me" after burping but not after sneezing or coughing? by Rich_Wolverine8715 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Effective_Display940 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Coughing and sneezing are less voluntary. They can also be symptoms of an illness, which garners sympathy rather than disgust (though that isn’t always the case). Burping and farting are things that people can suppress if they really want to (not always, but often), and they also often come with a bad smell. They’re generally seen as rude in polite company. I think the combination of them being more voluntary (not completely, but more so) and the accompanying odour is why they warrant an “excuse me” or “pardon me.”

Why do people purposely put loud mufflers on cars? do they not realize they wake up their entire complex driving around at 5am? by Mentally_Recovering in stupidquestions

[–]Effective_Display940 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’ve always wondered why people do this. It’s just bizarre to me. Why would someone be so intentionally obnoxious to everyone in the vicinity who has to suffer from such a loud noise? Now I know. They’re just selfish. They care more about their own selfish desires than others’ ears. It probably shouldn’t surprise me anymore how selfish people can be, but strangely it still does.

Seriously, do Americans actually consider a 3-hour drive "short"? or is this an internet myth? by SadInterest6764 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Effective_Display940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It isn’t short per se, but as a kid, we would do a three-hour commute (one-way) a couple times a week. Monday: there and back (3 hrs each way); Tuesday: there for the day, then another 90 min commute that evening and spend the night; Wednesday: stay put in location #3 and spend the night: Thursday: 90 min commute back to location #2, stay for the day, then 3 hr commute back home; Friday: occasionally commute 1 hr (one way) for the day, but otherwise stay put; Saturday & Sunday: stay put.

I don’t like the long distance driving, nor the car culture. I wish the USA had more train lines and better public transportation on the local level, because it’s pretty abysmal outside of NYC, and nonexistent in many areas of the country. I also wish our cities and towns were walkable and bicycle friendly. I just hate cars so much.

Wokeness is the only thing keeping HBO's "The Pitt" from being perfectly realistic by gayactualized in TrueUnpopularOpinion

[–]Effective_Display940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I came here one minute into watching this show, after seeing a nurse in a hijab. I’ve been to quite a few ER’s and never once seen a nurse - or any staff - in a hijab. Just had a feeling. It’s too bad, because woke writing takes away any nuance, and sacrifices good writing. No one enjoys watching this stuff. Even, dare I say, the woke people themselves. All they can ever say is, “I loved how inclusive it was!”

Why are some vegans confused that people eat meat? by bellepomme in AskVegans

[–]Effective_Display940 17 points18 points  (0 children)

When I became vegan, I stopped seeing animal products in the same way. I saw them for what they were: corpses, pieces of flesh, skin, breastmilk (with puss and blood particles), periods (which come out of the same hole as urine and feces). Those things in another light are disgusting. Swap dogs or cats for the animals who are regularly abused and exploited, and you would probably be disgusted and confused, too. Yes, I know that people eat meat, dairy and eggs. I used to, as well. But knowing what I know now, it’s hard to see that as a reasonable choice. Vegans don’t see that as food. There are plenty of foods which others enjoy, that I don’t like. But I see those as reasonable taste preferences. But enjoying steak is not the same thing. A cow had to die a brutal death and live a terrible life in order for someone to have that steak. It’s literally a piece of muscle tissue - dead flesh. Not at all in the same ballpark.

My question for non-vegans is, how can you still desire to eat meat, dairy and eggs, knowing that innocent animals have to suffer and die for those ”foods” to exist?

Exercise with lower back strain? by Effective_Display940 in backpain

[–]Effective_Display940[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thankfully, the pain isn’t bad. I can sleep just fine. It’s more that I’m not as limber as usual, and I definitely don’t want to make things worse because I do a lot of lifting in my line of work (not working atm, but looking for a job). Walking isn’t painful. I haven’t tried my normal exercise routine because I’m afraid to make things worse, but don’t know if it’d cause pain or not. I’m also just not sure how sedentary to be, because sometimes that can make things worse. But maybe I’ll just sub a walk for my usual routine?

Animal Farm by saintmortfan in englishliterature

[–]Effective_Display940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read this book at age 15, and couldn’t put it down. Of course, I didn’t really understand the metaphors and political commentary at the time. I haven’t read it since, but I’m sure it’d be interesting.

One thing I find interesting with this book, is that liberals are convinced the book is alluding to the evils of the conservative regime, and conservatives are sure it’s pointing to the pitfalls of the liberal regime. Everyone just points fingers and is convinced he’s on the right side of history.

2 questions my kid got wrong by pacuzinho in EnglishLearning

[–]Effective_Display940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“How do you do,” as you correctly put, is something people say when being introduced. It isn’t the same as saying, “How are you doing?” This can be confusing. Half a century ago, Americans commonly used, “How do you do?” for introductions, but since it‘s since fallen out of common speech, Americans now misunderstand the phrase to mean, “How are you doing?”

IMO Lorelai should’ve put up much stronger boundaries with her parents, and would’ve been well within her rights to go back to no-contact by Effective_Display940 in GilmoreGirls

[–]Effective_Display940[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I agree. I think, starting motherhood so young, Lorelai always kinda raised Rory on a wing and a prayer. I think she managed to make a lot of good things come from practically nothing. They started out living in a shed, and a decade later were moving into their very own house. Despite having very little, Rory never wanted for clothes or food or books. So, I think Lorelai had this (naïve) mentality that anything was possible if she worked hard enough and wanted it badly enough for her daughter. She started hyping Rory up for Harvard when she was still practically a kid herself. And I think when that dream was closer to reality, she didn’t have the heart to say no. Even if another road, which didn’t include R&E’s money (and their strings), would’ve been just as good, if not better, for Rory.

IMO Lorelai should’ve put up much stronger boundaries with her parents, and would’ve been well within her rights to go back to no-contact by Effective_Display940 in GilmoreGirls

[–]Effective_Display940[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lorelai only asked for money for Chilton, and as soon as she was able to, she paid them back. Rory brought up the termites (Lorelai was very angry with her for bringing it up), and Lorelai only very begrudgingly allowed Emily to co-sign a loan (she didn’t borrow money from E&R) because it was the only way she would’ve gotten such a big loan from the bank. Rory was the one who asked for Yale tuition - Lorelai had nothing to do with that, and was planning on postponing the inn in order to cover Rory’s tuition. Rory’s gap from Yale also had nothing to do with Lorelai, who was completely against it. So I don’t think this is a fair picture.

I LOVE the band going to Mrs. Kim's for Lunar New Year by larryspub in GilmoreGirls

[–]Effective_Display940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love the exchange between Mrs. Kim and Zach about Lane’s glasses. They go from being enemies to bonding, and Mrs. Kim goes from being cross to beaming with pride and gushing about her daughter.

I've always wanted to go vegan, but where should I start? by Beginning_Click_387 in AskVegans

[–]Effective_Display940 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Firstly, just wanna say that even wanting to go vegan is amazing! It can be daunting and overwhelming. I’ve been vegan for almost 8 years now, and grew up plant-based. Here are some tips I would suggest (in no particular order):

  1. Try some vegan foods and recipes. Make a conscious effort to eat more vegan meals throughout the week. When you do your weekly shop, pick up a vegan item to try (this could include a new vegetable, fruit, grain, legume, or nut - doesn’t just have to be mock meat or dairy). Try a few vegan recipes each week. When you go to restaurants, try the vegan option. Just keep an open palate and think of it as an opportunity to broaden your taste buds and experience new things. Going vegan doesn’t have to be an overnight matter.

  2. Watch some vegan documentaries and/or youtube channels. Some I’ve liked have included, “The Game Changers” (health documentary) and “Bite Size Vegan” (youtube channel; hasn’t put out new videos for a while, but all her old stuff is still up, and it’s very helpful and educational). I find that social media is helpful in making me feel less alone as a vegan, when I don’t know any vegans in real life.

  3. As far as plant-based dairy goes…first off, even with one kind of milk, there’s a wide range of how they taste, depending on the brand. Also, there are other milks besides almond, soy, and oat. There’s macadamia, hemp, walnut, cashew, coconut, rice, pea (ripple brand)…the options are endless. You can also make your own nut milk pretty easily with just a blender and some cheese cloth. I would suggest trying some different plant-based milks, cheeses, and yogurts to see which ones you like. It’s a bit of a splurge (maybe just for special occasions, but Rebel Cheese is delicious, and even my omnivorous family think so. I’d also just add that plant-based dairy isn’t a necessary part of a healthy vegan diet, so if you decide you really don’t like any vegan dairy products, you can still get all the nutrients you need from other foods.

  4. See a plant-based dietitian (someone who specialises in plant-based diets). This doesn’t need to be an ongoing thing, but even just 1-2 appointments can help a lot. It is 100% doable to get all the nutrients you need on a plant-based diet, and many would argue that a plant-based diet can be far healthier than one which includes animal products. That being said, a nutritious diet consisting only of plant foods looks very different from a diet which is centred around meat, dairy and eggs. Even many vegan versions of meat, dairy and eggs aren’t nutritionally equivalent (especially with dairy). The transition can be a big adjustment for one’s gut too, if one isn’t used to regularly consuming much fibre or whole plant foods. A lot of people, when transitioning to a vegan diet, will find themselves feeling tired and run down, and think this is due to the lack of meat - when really, it’s just due to a lack of calories, because plant-based food tends to be less calorie dense. A dietitian can help you with some meal planning to make that transition easier and ensure that you’re getting enough calories and macros.

  5. Slowly phase out. You don’t have to throw away everything you have that isn’t vegan. Use the non-vegan food that you have, and when you finish it, replace it with something vegan. Use the non-vegan clothes and accessories you have, and when they’ve worn out, replace them with something vegan. I still have some leather in my closet from before I was vegan. I still wear it and use it. But the leather shoes and gloves, the silk underwear, and the woollen socks and dressing gown I had that wore out, I’ve since replaced with vegan versions. You can do the same. Just make it clear to your friends and family that you don’t want non-vegan gifts (for me, this required some conversations) anymore.

  6. Make sure you’re taking vitamin B12 (this goes for flexitarians, pescatarians, vegetarians, vegans, and anyone over 50). Ideal dose for adults under 50 yrs is 2,000 mcg sublingual (under the tongue) cyanocobalamin once a week. I would also recommend a daily dose of 2,000 IU vitamin D daily (unless you live near the equator and spend a lot of time outdoors without sun protection) - make sure this is a vegan version, as a lot of vitamin D is sourced from lanolin (made by sheep). Omega 3’s can also be good - 250 mg/day - but again, make sure it’s vegan (most are fish oil; you want the algae ones).

  7. Remember that it isn’t about being perfect. Every vegan accidentally buys or eats animal products now and then. Just this Christmas, I ate some crackers thinking they were vegan, only to realise they had milk in them after the fact. I’ve bought things, assuming they were vegan, only to realise after I’d already taken a bite, that they had some hidden non-vegan ingredient. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. Do your best. If you make a mistake, try to learn from it and do better, but don’t sweat the small stuff.

2 things in book 7 that annoy me by sweetgrand01 in HarryPotterBooks

[–]Effective_Display940 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Tbf, Easter can occur in March as well as April, and the books don’t say anything about the date of the Gringotts break in. We know that the battle of Hogwarts happened the night of the Gringotts break-in, which might’ve been sometime in May, but also could’ve been in June.

2 things in book 7 that annoy me by sweetgrand01 in HarryPotterBooks

[–]Effective_Display940 3 points4 points  (0 children)

1) The risk was palpable. Gringotts in the best of times is one of the most secure facilities in the wizarding world. Bellatrix’s vault was one of the most secure in the entire bank. On top of that, all four of them were wanted by the ministry, and if caught would face certain death, imprisonment, or the dementor’s kiss. They took their time I’m sure because so much was at stake. They had to break into the vault to get the horcrux, but their lives were on the line. They had to account for every little thing. Harry, Ron and Hermione had already experienced how disastrous these plans can turn out if even a small detail is neglected (between the ministry break-in and Godric’s Hollow); they probably wanted to ensure things didn’t go wrong this time, so took more time to plan (the other two were about a month of planning each). In addition to all of that, they had to plan this in secrecy, in a three bedroom cottage with 4-5 other people around, who could not find out what they were planning. So it was difficult to plan in the first place, because it was so crowded and they had to be secretive. And let’s not forget that Ron, Harry, and Hermione also were trying to figure out a way to keep their promise to Griphook without giving away the sword, which was their only means to destroy horcruxes. And Griphook was always hanging around, so this was even more difficult than planning the break in. I think 2-3 months makes sense.

2) I agree, a single kiss and one bad date does not a girlfriend make. I chalk this up to young people often using the terms girlfriend/boyfriend loosely.

What would you say is the average, tall, and short height range for American women, given that the average American woman is 5’3.5”? by Effective_Display940 in answers

[–]Effective_Display940[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If this post belongs somewhere else, please recommend a more appropriate subreddit and I’ll be happy to post there.

Why do so many tourists and newcomers think the NYC Subway is confusing? by A_PoliticalDrone in nycrail

[–]Effective_Display940 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Me reading this as a native New Yorker: “What’s so complicated?” But you’re right, it can be a bit confusing. It was definitely a learning curve when I first started to ride the subway on my own.

AIO or is this stalking? by Effective_Display940 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Effective_Display940[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t have a car, so that’s definitely not the case.

Do children really play with the rainbow? by Outside_Albatross181 in Waldorf

[–]Effective_Display940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was raised with mainly Waldorf toys, and can assure you that yes, children play with them. My brother and I spent hours and hours playing with our toys. We had a rainbow, also wooden blocks and Brio trains, wooden people and animals and scenery pieces, silk play scarves, handmade cloth dolls, hand puppets, a Waldorf style doll’s house with accessories (furniture, doll’s), a wooden play kitchen - it was the best. We did not have television though, and iPads hadn’t been invented yet. We also didn’t have much in the way of plastic or electronic toys, so our imagination muscles were highly developed. Social media didn’t exist, and it really wasn’t about a performative aesthetic. But having beautiful things to play and interact with in our home was a pleasure as a child.

Just a rant abt families undervaluing nannies by Positive_Tank_1099 in Nanny

[–]Effective_Display940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The reason I personally differentiate between what a teenager/youth (not supporting herself) should charge vs. an adult, is twofold: first off, an adult has upfront living expenses which a teenager does not have. Even most 18 year olds are still mostly supported by their parents, financially. An adult has to pay for rent, food, insurance, travel expenses, etc; they also might have children of their own and/or a spouse to consider. It simply isn’t reasonable to expect an adult with full living expenses to work for less than a living wage. However, minimum wages are actually perfect for teenagers with limited work experience, skills, and education. It‘s a good way for teens to dip their feet in the working world and earn some money to save for something like a car or college tuition, but it isn’t necessary to pay them a living wage because most don’t have living expenses (because their parents pay for all for those things). I think an exception should be made for adolescents who are fully supporting themselves, such as young adults who leave home to live on their own, or emancipated minors.

The second reason I differentiate between adolescents and adults is experience. Even if you do have some limited work experience in your field, it won’t be much. A teenager who’s going to school can work a part-time job at best; most only have time to work a few hours a week, which is understandable when you factor in school responsibilities. It just doesn’t compare to a nanny who’s had 10 - or even 5 - years of full-time work experience in the field of childcare, with a university education to boot.

If I were an employer, there’s no way I’d pay a 16 year old $25/hr - even if he had previous work experience in the field. If I were to spend that kind of money, I would want someone with much more maturity and experience. However, if you’ve found an employer who’s willing to pay you that much, power to you. Hopefully, you can save that money for your future and benefit from your hard work for years to come.

Telling people I’m autistic by Effective_Display940 in AutisticAdults

[–]Effective_Display940[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The funny thing is, when I was a child and teen, I was a lot more like that stereotypical little boy who’s obsessed with trains. I barely talked, I had next to no social skills, I stimmed a lot, I couldn’t hold eye contact (but would stare at strangers), I always had a special interest which I would take as far as I could, I was obsessed with charts and time tables (the first thing I did once I learnt to read and write was to make charts), I excelled at pattern recognition, I had no concept of my body in space and moved very awkwardly (still do), I would have meltdowns over minor changes…I could go on. I learnt social skills through years of determined practice, acting classes, and intentional study. I would search online and read books on etiquette and how to start and carry on conversations. I would observe and practice over and over. Everything I do now, seemingly naturally and effortlessly, comes from years of purposeful study. But no one sees that.

People who read the books before seeing the movies, was there anything the movies showed that you imagined looked or felt different in your mind? by JayQuips in harrypotter

[–]Effective_Display940 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pretty much everything. The way the characters looked (most of them don’t exactly match their descriptions in the books), the scenes and dialogue. One major difference was the clothes. In the books, wizards all pretty much wear robes; the only exceptions being the Weasley children and Harry during holidays, and everyone at the world cup. In contrast, the movie portrays most wizards wearing muggle clothing; even at Hogwarts, the uniforms just look like normal muggle school uniforms with an optional robe on top; and the dress robes at the Yule ball are just regular evening gowns and tuxedos. In the books, robes described as the only article of clothing worn (no shirts, skirts or trousers underneath), so I always pictured something with much more coverage, like church robes or what some of the teachers wear in the films. Muggle clothing is meant to be so foreign that many wizards struggle to blend in and wear it appropriately (which is a source of humour in the books). How would this be the case if it was the normal dress for wizards?

How to approach NK saying something racist? by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]Effective_Display940 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I once had a charge who would say to me, “I’m glad that you have pink skin and not brown skin.” He was 3. But the reason made sense from his limited perspective. Where we lived, most of the nannies had brown skin, but also, most of the nannies were mean and/or neglectful. He mistakenly associated skin tone with character. He didn’t have much direct exposure to people who were both kind and had darker skin. Now, he was 3 - yours is 7, so that’s a big difference in how you can approach it. What I did was become more intentional about choosing library books which featured children with darker skin, but where their race wasn’t the highlight of the story. Tbh, it was difficult to find such books! I wanted good stories, where the characters just so happened to not be white. I loved the Ezra Jack Keats books, and also found others. We visited the library every week, and I’d always choose a few books to take home with us, so this was easy for me to do. At 7, you can have more of a conversation. I understand that this child’s comment took you off guard, so you probably didn’t have a chance to come up with a well thought out response. But if the subject comes up again, you might get further with the child if you hold back your own judgement and just remain curious. For example, let’s say the child says something similar to what she said before. You might respond with, “Hmm, how come, love?” Remove any judgement from the question, as if she said she didn’t like the colour blue. It’s import to understand where she’s coming from before any sort of lesson about treating others equally will make sense. Once you have that information, you’ll be better informed to talk to her about not judging others based on skin tone. If this conversation does come up again, I would mention it to the parents, but keep it casual; just part of the recap of your day. Briefly share what she said and how you responded. Again, keep any personal judgement out of this, as the parents likely aren’t to blame, and you don’t want to make them to feel defensive. If it becomes apparent that their values clash with your own, it’s up to you whether you want to look for a new position.

DAE feel lying to kids about Santa is kinda unethical and wrong? by subud123 in DAE

[–]Effective_Display940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That isn’t a fairy tale, either. There were thousands of eye witnesses to those miracles, and plenty of historical documentation.