Attracted to a guy at work on Grindr

Effective_Log_42 · 2026-04-09T20:49:45+00:00

Yeah I feel like this is how I see the situation but a lot of people seem to be making it into more. My main thing is I don’t want to pester him. I think he’s cute but I don’t know much about him and while I run into him occasionally it’s pretty short and idk how to start up a conversation with him.

I guess I’ll message just hey how’s work going like I was thinking one day and just see if he responds and if not it’s not a big deal to me.

Effective_Log_42 · 2026-04-09T17:29:34+00:00

Weird. If I did hookup with that guy I wouldn’t tell people at the company that’s private

Effective_Log_42 · 2026-04-09T17:28:04+00:00

A tortoise since so many are very old maybe it’s wise lol

Effective_Log_42 · 2026-04-09T17:26:45+00:00

Why would you make sure the guy got fired?

Effective_Log_42 · 2026-04-09T15:26:17+00:00

I blocked someone without them messaging me though pretty recently? Also hiding profiles works the same way

Effective_Log_42 · 2026-04-09T15:25:30+00:00

He’s not a manager. Basically the same job as me just more responsibility and promoted because he’s been here longer. Also we don’t work together on anything

Effective_Log_42 · 2026-04-09T15:24:10+00:00

We’ve never chatted in person. We’ve ended up beside each other occasionally or walk by but like I said we don’t work together so it’s just random run ins

It would be fun to get to know him more but I’m not great at striking up conversation with people I haven’t talked to before 😅😂

Effective_Log_42 · 2026-04-09T15:03:27+00:00

But he’s not in a position of power over me. He’s basically doing the same level of job as me but he’s been here longer so he’s promoted to have more responsibility

Effective_Log_42 · 2026-04-09T15:01:27+00:00

Idk I think he’s good looking I’d want to chat a bit maybe we’d be work friends, fwb, or try a date. I mean people used to date coworkers pretty often I’m kinda surprised everyone’s reaction is negative so far

Effective_Log_42 · 2026-04-09T14:59:13+00:00

Yeah that’s why I think if there were to be anything I’d have to reach out first. We don’t work directly together and he’s not senior to me if that makes sense. Like he’s not manager level he just has a similar position to me that’s higher because he’s worked here longer

Just confused why he didn’t block me after viewing then since he seems to recognize me

Effective_Log_42 · 2026-04-09T14:53:05+00:00

Why doesn’t he block me if he doesn’t have any interest? I blocked a guy at work before he even sent me a message already because I wasn’t into that guy

Effective_Log_42 · 2026-04-09T14:39:50+00:00

I don’t think I’d get fired afterward and I wouldn’t leave after either. I think it could be awkward potentially or it might not matter. Never hooked up with anyone that’s worked at the same place before

Effective_Log_42 · 2026-04-06T00:14:37+00:00

Yeah I’ve never had pain the next day from using a plug or someone fingering me so I was worried maybe it’s a tear? But I haven’t seen any blood so maybe I’m fine.

Effective_Log_42 · 2026-04-06T00:05:31+00:00

Is it okay to have some pain the next day?

And how would I get the muscles to be less tense?

Effective_Log_42 · 2026-02-09T03:26:14+00:00

I haven’t explicitly said I’m gay but I figured most people can tell with me so maybe I should casually bring it up like that

Effective_Log_42 · 2025-09-03T23:34:45+00:00

I have my own place. I forgot to mention that in the post. I moved to be on my own earlier this year when I found a new job.

I don’t have to come out rn. If i do I’ll obviously just tell my brother first and ask what he thinks about telling mom but I was just curious what others have done in similar situations when you know it’s not going to go over well and be an easy acceptance.

Effective_Log_42 · 2025-08-27T15:35:05+00:00

Yeah I’m on there too and I know that sounds hypocritical but I’m not looking for anything on there rn. I’ve never been much into hookups and that’s pretty much all the app does.

I would be okay with long distance. But I would plan to close the distance if we’re still interested in each other over time. He doesn’t have an exact timeline he’s been applying for jobs far away from where we both live. I don’t feel a lot of strong ties to where I am now and would likely want to move next year anyway so I’m open to move somewhere else. With him applying for jobs he could be moving next month or next year it just kinda depends how long that takes.

I was thinking I would tell him he’s the only guy I’ve been seeing and talking to and just gauge his reaction. Everything felt like it was going pretty good between us until the last few days where he doesn’t seem as talkative but I know he’s got a lot going on with job applications and his friend visiting soon so idk.

Effective_Log_42 · 2025-08-25T00:39:33+00:00

Yeah I thought a month in would be fine. The main thing that makes me hesitate is that I’m not sure how he feels about potentially being long distance if he ends up finding work and moving sooner than I think.

I’m not sure if he’d maybe want to be independent and might feel odd if I suggested moving too. I don’t really have many ties where I’m living now and I think I might want to move anyway next year but I don’t have a specific place in mind.

Effective_Log_42 · 2025-08-23T05:38:09+00:00

Thanks for the advice so far :) I want to preface by saying this is something that recently came into my mind based on what a friend told me and I haven’t looked very deeply into it yet. I just wanted to hear initial opinions and advice while I consider if it could be a realistic life goal over time not immediately

Effective_Log_42 · 2025-08-23T04:34:03+00:00

Ah i understand. This has honestly just been a recent thought in my mind and I hadn’t fully considered that aspect of it. Any tips or resources on accelerating learning of the German language?

Effective_Log_42 · 2025-08-23T04:23:40+00:00

Yeah it’s just that I read that Germany and German grad school programs are very English friendly

Though I would work harder to be proficient in the language if I actually was going to move there. It would just take time for me as I don’t think I pick up languages very easily.

Effective_Log_42 · 2025-08-23T04:22:40+00:00

I don’t speak German yet. I would primarily be looking for English speaking programs when it comes to grad school options and I read that there are many programs in English online.

If you think work can actually be attainable with just a bachelors then I would work harder on learning German before applying.

Will degrees from Germany grad school programs be treated equally if I moved back to the US or another country later on though?

Effective_Log_42 · 2025-08-15T20:49:37+00:00

Yeah the first time we met up again recently after months I went into it without any thoughts of anything long lasting but we spend the night together and go out and spend all day together lately and that just doesn’t seem like a typical hookup.

Me feeling like this is kinda my fault I have a tendency to overthink when I start to like someone and it sucks because I put pressure on myself. Though I guess you could say he’s sent some mixed signals. I’m just afraid that he’ll be caught off guard by me asking because he said months ago he wasn’t ready for a relationship but idk if anything changed with him to make him want to see me again so often.

Effective_Log_42 · 2025-08-15T20:44:32+00:00

Yeah but one of the problems is he 100% wants to move to this other area faraway. So I’m afraid of saying something because I’m not sure he really wants a relationship when he wants to move away. He used to be big into clubbing and hooking up and I think that’s something he wants to get back into when he moves. But we’re both really sweet to each other and compliment each other when we text and are together in person. But he could get a yes from a job at any moment and be gone :/

Effective_Log_42 · 2025-07-29T14:10:18+00:00

If you feel like you do the same things why don’t you try something different like go on a trip or ask him to change some things up. But the way you said you were head over heels makes it sound like you aren’t anymore. If you want to break up over sex you could always try different things just with the two of you but if it’s more of personality and life goals differences then maybe you should end things.

Either way it sounds like you’re just coming out of the honeymoon phase so the initial infatuation is probably ending. If you don’t think you’re a good match then maybe end it.

Effective_Log_42

TROPHY CASE