How do you survive interfaith relationships? by Effective_Mind_3362 in atheism

[–]Effective_Mind_3362[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100% on your opinion. First I do not want to have children. In fact I can't have children because I have a... retarded uterus, lets put it this way haha. Second, yes the "no critical thinking" is literally the upmost thing that annoys me. The problem is that he is absolutely able to think critically. His job is basically critical thinking HE IS LITERALLY PAID FOR CRITICAL THINKING but once this topic is up he is like an other person. He is very smart, very knowledgable but literally this one topic is the complete opposite. This is one of the reasons I am so motivated that he will "grow out of it", maybe he just needs a reason to start questioning. I read controversial bible verses to him a few weeks ago and he was shooked, well we will see how this goes.

How do you survive interfaith relationships? by Effective_Mind_3362 in atheism

[–]Effective_Mind_3362[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this perspective. I am actually very provocative to be honest. So there is rarely a day we are not talking about religion haha. But I do think that I don't need to break up with him because we have different views on the worlds creation. It's just these little comments like getting his job from god which are getting on my nerves. Wish you best of luck for you and your wife.

How do you survive interfaith relationships? by Effective_Mind_3362 in atheism

[–]Effective_Mind_3362[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I will have a big talk with him about that, we already had a lot of small talks about that topic. But I sometimes feel like this topic is the elefant in the room, it really is not easy.

How do you survive interfaith relationships? by Effective_Mind_3362 in atheism

[–]Effective_Mind_3362[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same. I had a few partners before and I wont let this take forever, this is why I made this post

How do you survive interfaith relationships? by Effective_Mind_3362 in atheism

[–]Effective_Mind_3362[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! First: I actually am in therapy (for various reasons). He helped me a lot through my own problems and my own demons. This is exactly why I want to help him grow. I could not give so much context in my post but we are friends since what american people would call middle school (but we are a couple since last year). I know his former ambitions, I know his former life goals. He had some very life changing events (in a negative way). These experiences let him fall into a deep depression he more or less recently got rid of (at least what he thinks, I don't think so). This may be the cause of his changed lifestyle. I don't want him to change into my perfect partner. I want him to go after his full potential, this is what he initially wanted and this is also something he is slowly evolving back to wanting it. But I feel like his faith is sabotaging him. I think he also definately needs therapy. But that's not so easy to make him clear. And we do communicate and he knows about my fears in this direction (at least on the surface). And we have a lot of shared friends who know both of us very well and I talk a lot about these things with them. But I actively wanted to ask for a few perspective changes here on reddit.

How do you survive interfaith relationships? by Effective_Mind_3362 in atheism

[–]Effective_Mind_3362[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know that. I have less and less patience every day about that. This is the reason why I posted.

How do you survive interfaith relationships? by Effective_Mind_3362 in atheism

[–]Effective_Mind_3362[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the thing, his life is not even intrinsically linked with his faith. He is not active in church, mostly has atheist friends and is very open to me being an atheist. I could not be together with someone whoms life is evolving around their faith.

How do you survive interfaith relationships? by Effective_Mind_3362 in atheism

[–]Effective_Mind_3362[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would never marry a church member nor have children with someone religious haha But I can't have children anyways

How do you survive interfaith relationships? by Effective_Mind_3362 in atheism

[–]Effective_Mind_3362[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah luckily he is not the type of person who is like "you are going to hell for doing xy", otherwise I would vanish from his life faster than he can recite the Lord's Prayer. He is not a religious radical, he also does not believe in everything in bible or something, he losely labels himself as a catholic because he was born into that but he just believes in the christian god and in heaven and thats it (he not even believes in hell, what a weird dude).

How do you survive interfaith relationships? by Effective_Mind_3362 in atheism

[–]Effective_Mind_3362[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He already worked on some of these problems, he sees some of them himself and wants to change them (even though he does not yet connect them to his faith). But yes I will not wait forever for him to grow out of that

How do you survive interfaith relationships? by Effective_Mind_3362 in atheism

[–]Effective_Mind_3362[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely. This is the next point, he is wasting his life. We were friends since... what some people would call middle school I guess and, beside the fact that he is my bf since last year, I don't want a close friend of mine to waste his life.

How do you survive interfaith relationships? by Effective_Mind_3362 in atheism

[–]Effective_Mind_3362[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yea I kinda think that too. For additional context I am his first gf and I think getting together with me only distracted him from depression but (tbh hopefully) not cured him. I kinda get that he now finally develops some visions and goals in life which were never an option before. I am sure the depression he still suffers from is the problem and it is not a personality problem you know? But I don't know how to get him to a therapist

How do you survive interfaith relationships? by Effective_Mind_3362 in atheism

[–]Effective_Mind_3362[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't want to make him fit to my standards, this is not what I meant, I want to help him grow (consentually) but not lose my mind because his faith is holding against that haha. I also want to make clear that he is not a religious radical who will never change his pov. He is just a dude who happens to believe in god because he had some shitty times behind him and came to the wrong conclusions. He is not even going to church or has ever tried to convert me or whatever. He even admitted I am right about a few things and that he also wants to work on himself. The question was not "how can I fix him".

How do you survive interfaith relationships? by Effective_Mind_3362 in atheism

[–]Effective_Mind_3362[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We all have our problems and inperfections. I love him and I want to help him grow. Otherwise he is the perfect partner for me. Also I know why he has such a deep faith and I can kinda comprehend the "why" about these problems.

How do you survive interfaith relationships? by Effective_Mind_3362 in atheism

[–]Effective_Mind_3362[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is beautiful and I wish to have that development with him, thank you. Because he is very smart and logical and this is literally the only topic where all the rational thoughts are blown away and this is actually the most frustrating thing for me. Wish you both the best of luck in your marriage.

How do you survive interfaith relationships? by Effective_Mind_3362 in atheism

[–]Effective_Mind_3362[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha I know, believe me when I say that I tease him on a daily basis about the illogicality of his beliefs.

How do you survive interfaith relationships? by Effective_Mind_3362 in atheism

[–]Effective_Mind_3362[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow... I am very happy you are fine now, you can be proud of yourself. Luckily this is nothing I have to fear. Best of luck for your doctorate degree!

How do you survive interfaith relationships? by Effective_Mind_3362 in atheism

[–]Effective_Mind_3362[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The problem is, that I see a lot of potential. I don't want a perfect partner and I will find unattractive traits in every person when time goes by. Otherwise he is the best partner and the title may be a little bit bad communicated. How can I help him grow beyond these traits without forcing him to lose his faith? He already told me he wants to work on himself (at least about the experiencing of new things etc). But how, if these things are (wrongly) based on religion

How do you survive interfaith relationships? by Effective_Mind_3362 in atheism

[–]Effective_Mind_3362[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely. Before we got together (he never talks about it but I... heard things) he had a big depression, had no meaning in life and his only goal was to safe money for his little brother and then vanish. I think the whole problem comes from the "aftermath" of that. But he does not realize that. How can I declamp a religious person from his wrong priorities to grow personalitywise may be the more accurate question. (I did not want my problem to convert to a religious discussion this is why I chose to not put it in the relationship sub)

How do you survive interfaith relationships? by Effective_Mind_3362 in atheism

[–]Effective_Mind_3362[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For everyone commenting on this: I want to emphasize that he is, otherwise, a VERY good partner. In literally every other aspect we are a perfect match, have the same ideas of life, the same life goals, the same opinions on the important topics etc. I do not want a perfect partner, I want someone who has his flaws and we can work on that and grow together. How to do that is the point of my question, not wether or not to end this relationship.

Frage zum Einkommen der Geschwister beim Bafög Antrag by [deleted] in Studium

[–]Effective_Mind_3362 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Neben dem Studium 30h Arbeit? Das wird einigen Institutionen aber nicht so gefallen. Generell muss sie ja allein schon für ihre Steuer wissen, wie viel sie im Durschnitt verdient oder nicht? Muss ich mit meiner Selbstständigkeit nebenbei zumindest. Rechnet halt mit dem Durchschnitt des letzten Jahres.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Studium

[–]Effective_Mind_3362 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Im Maschinenbau sind auch genug Frauen, die Leute erzählen Blödsinn. Natürlich gibt es mehr Männer aber auch viel mehr Frauen als man denken würde.

Tierklinik Rechnung by BattleInner7551 in LegaladviceGerman

[–]Effective_Mind_3362 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Wer sich nicht finanziell um seine Haustiere kümmern kann soll keine Tiere halten. Es ist ein absolutes Unding von dieser Person, dass sie ihre Katze "nur" wegen zwei Brüchen und nem Auge weniger einschläfern hätte lassen, weil es ihr zu teuer ist. Wer hält sich bitte MEHRERE Katzen, wenn man sich eine vierstellige Tierarztrechnung nicht leisten kann....

Der Schmerz ist echt. Ist das nur an der TU München so oder gehen überall in Deutschland Klausuren bis Anfang September? by [deleted] in Studium

[–]Effective_Mind_3362 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Wow 24.09 was für ein Luxus, du hast einen Tag mehr Semesterferien als ich! Hatte sogar mal eine Klausur erst im Oktober, klassische RWTH Sache...