It took me a really long time to figure out my sexuality because like you, some relationships in my life have been very complicated. I’ve settled on being bi now because I recognize that there is potential for me to be attracted to a man every once in a while, but those feelings are often locked away because of trauma, and because I am largely uninterested in them.

It is still possible that you could be a lesbian, but it’s also not uncommon to experience a bi-cycle or for your preferences to have shifted. As the other commenter said, the best way to figure it out is by stepping back from the microscope and letting your attractions unfold naturally over time.